Saturday, September 30, 2006

A Temporary Arrangement

So, they dared me to kiss
and I accepted their challenge the way any
year old girl would. The only existing
was where and when. Two willing souls meeting mouth to
He was there first and I walked forward looking
I raised my face, eyes to his
wet, smiling widely and
Standing still, I looked higher at his laughing blue
He reached forward and held me firmly, small hands
tightly on my upper
His mouth came close to mine and I
the sweet aroma of cookies on his
Then, my crossed eyes saw the unexpected
leave his mouth and enter my
Slimy and cold, it jabbed in and
feeling ridged and
His vice-like arms wrapped around my
and I struggled beneath his searching
The laughter broke through my dismal
as the onlookers discussed our mortal
Pushing hard, I felt his quick
and I fell backwards, surprised that the
leapt forward to catch me in slow
He turned and ran as my sleeve dried his thick
around my mouth. I could not move in
that my own friends had planned the
Running home, I could feel the hot
quickly dry in the corners of my
I tripped, falling hard and bit my
the blood replacing his temporary
~I dedicate this poem to bb for the inspiration she gives me~

Friday, September 29, 2006

You are humble while watching the sun set, bowing your crown

as you gently give what is not yours to hold back.

White petals fading softly over to hues of brown,

pitiful bloom wears a splendor that is often disregarded.

Your silent mourning is not heard

and alone you feel life's drain,

natures gravity pulling

it back into the soil of your birth.

The instinctive winds tug on whatever

remaining strength is left

and you begin counting down the evenings

that pass by so slowly, questioning just how many

sun rises you will see again.

I always feel badly on the weekend that my husband chooses to prune back all the plants growing in our yard. I peer from the kitchen window and see the big black bags begin to fill up with the discarded remains. Dead branches and leaves mix with colorful flowers that still have a day or two left in them. If I had only arrived before him, I could have salvaged the last bouquet of the season, but I never do. He hauls it all away and in his wake the yard looks so barren and sparse.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

You Remind Me

I walk downstairs in nothing but your T-shirt,
the smell of you is faintly on my skin.
You are long into your oblivion,
but I can't sleep and go where you are.
So, I am down here wrapped up in a blanket,
while the wind is howling and the crisp leaves
dance in the entrance of Fall.
Earlier, you listened to the words that came from
my hearts cry and you held me, engulfed my
small frame into your big arms.
Your chest became a haven for my cheek and the smell
of you filled my lungs and dissipated into my bones.
"I feel like a child" I said.
You reminded me of who I am, the woman who resides
in the center of my chest and there
your finger rested.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Going Home

Going home today! There's nothing like family, feeling the love and getting to love back. Making your parents smile and laugh because you're their child no matter what your age. I got to watch the color come back into my dad's face and the worry, leave my mom's.

I'm leaving here with my cup running over and a big smile of relief that all is well in my parents house. I have felt light hearted and helpful and reassured that the mending road is well under way.

I miss my husband, my puppy and my own bed. And the huge pile of laundry that is sure to be waiting for me. I am bursting with poetry...words, phrases, experiences all turning around in my brain trying to finding their way to paper and pen. I have loved being here, but I love going home too. When I walk in the door I take a deep breath and inhale the scent that represents us. It's a good smell...the smell of home :)

And in the solitude of my where I will let these last few days unfold into verse and reason and enjoy the process of giving all of this over to my creative person, as I send my 'care-taker' persona on vacation.

loving you all more than words can say <<<<<<>>>>>>> x Darlene

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Dad's Recuperation

This is what is waiting for me at home :)
But I am here at my Mom and Dad's keeping my dad company along with other family members. This is Kelly my gorgeous niece....

Sean, my very tall and handsome nephew....
and my sister Pam, the mother of these two children. They were here yesterday for the evening and we all enjoyed each other's lovins :)
even Daisy got in on the fun. Mom made some yummy chili and the evening was full of laughter.

Today, Daddy needs to rest, rest , rest and I'm going to help with some housework, with a promised Starbucks run later on...yes Denise...even here in this po dunk town, they have a Starbucks :) We miss you boho, it's just not the same without you. However, Dad is soaking up the attention and love and he's smiling.

I miss you all in bloggie world and will try to do some post reading later on.
Much thanks for all the love that has come our way through are all angels :)

Sunday, September 24, 2006

This Man

This man is my Father, my daddy, and I am very proud of the fact that he served our country as a Marine, as one of the 'few and proud.' Thank you, to all of you who said prayers and sent good vibes for his recent surgery. The results were good and he is recovering with my mom as his attentive nurse.

But, I need to say more about him because when someone you love goes into surgery, there is always those moments of reflecting internally, as we are not privy to how things are going to turn out. Of course, we know they are in good hands and we try to do our best to think positively, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind, covered under all the hope, is a crack of fear that something could go wrong and for me, this causes an unearthing of all that I feel about my relationship with this person.

The last few days uncovered a surprising amount of emotions for me and most of them are very private, but one that really caught me off guard was how much I still need to have a father active in my life. I am a grown woman of 45, raised 2 responsible children, owned houses, had careers and have been successful with a very loving relationship with my husband. But, this situation brought out very childlike feelings for him.

And I realized that....I still 'need' my dad. I need his love...yes, that is obvious, but there was more. I need his wise lectures and opinions about decisions I am making. I need his sense of humor that is so much like my own, kind of dorky and old fashioned. I need his touch, the way he hugs me and puts my face inside his big hands, so that he can look straight into my eyes to say, "Know Darlene....that I really love you." He's been doing this lately and it's very intense. I need the memories that we share, the years before my sisters, our East Coast memories that he is always so surprised that I remember. But, most of all, I need what he embodies, what he represents, the cornerstone of this family, my family and we all love the way he has softened over the years and doesn't hesitate to show and tell us of his love. I realized that we....that 'I' am the love of his life, yes, along side of my mother and sisters, but that when my dad thinks about what is most important to him, what he treasures most in this world...I am one of those things.

And that leaves me speechless.

Friday, September 22, 2006

"Waving Good-Bye" by Gerald Stern

Yes, this is baby Darlene, born on the East Coast of the USA and happy to have a big mouth!
And here I am again, showing you that I can both stand AND have a big mouth!
Here I am, having finally closed my mouth, so you could see that, indeed, I also have a big head. By the way, little sister, these genes run through your blood too. So, considering you, me and Carsten all rolled into one....we're talking about the potential for this child to have big eyes, a big head, big mouth, be extremely tall and have huge feet and hands! Sounds rather alien to me? But seriously...anything you produce will be just beautiful :)
Here I am right out of High School, thinking I new everything and had nothing to fear. (And the mouth?...Still big!)

Now, on with Mr. Sterns Poem:

I wanted to know what it was like before we

had voices and before we had bare fingers and before we

had minds to move us through our actions

and tears to help us over our feelings,

so I drove my daughter through the snow to meet her friend

and filled her car with suitcases and hugged her

as an animal would, pressing my forehead against her

walking in circles, moaning, touching her cheek,

and turned my head after them as an animal would,

watching helplessly as they drove over the ruts,

her smiling face and her small hand just visible

over the giant pillows and coat hangers

as they made their turn into the empty highway.

So, I had an epiphany today, analyzing my recent feelings of emotionally feeling like a child and wondering where this was all coming from. This month we officially moved our daughter to her own home and are no longer financially supporting her. In other words, she is completely 100%on her own. She was the last to go, all apron strings are cut and my big nest is 2100 square feet of empty. Now it's time to redefine my life and this is a moment that I have been anticipating for years. We mom's pour our lives into motherhood (loving all it entails), but are told by many that 'our' time will come. So, for me, during every difficult stage of raising my children, I thought about this moment, each time, feeling like it was so very far away and suddenly it's staring me in the face. I have a lot to think about, because I'm not a baby anymore and I'm not a full-time mom either. It's time to grow up into this new stage.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Ticking Time

"I held my breath as we do sometimes to stop time" Mary Oliver
today I felt my age creeping up behind me and it tried to scare me
with youth
today my father saw his age standing beside him
patiently waiting
while he checked himself into the hospital for
something routine
I see him aging and see him look around
and wonder
when did time speed forward so quickly for
this skin
when did my mind decide to be stubborn
not following
So, I cried today for him just like
a baby
and I turned around and saw my age
this child
I wanted to stop time, no
reverse it

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Oh, the Wisdom of the Victorian Era

I purchased another great old book find, 1st edition, 1896 and in very good condition. I have read through a portion of it reminding myself that this was written during the end of the Victorian Era. The Rev. F. B. Meyer had some very specific advice for all of the young ladies of that time and certain statements brought a smile to my face. I thought I would share some of them with you.

Words of Help for Christian Girls

1. Do not dress in such a way as to call attention to any part of your figure, or to distort or to alter it. (There goes all of my Victoria's Secret)

2. You must keep clear of the Theatre, the Concert Hall and the Dancing Saloon. You cannot go to things which should bring a blush to your face. (Well...turn off the TV)

3. Dancing is a matter, especially when attired in the flimsy costume of a ball-room, to the embraces of strange men, whose morals may be worse than doubtful. It does not seem to be fit to be whirled through the maze of a waltz by one whose linen may be spotless, but whose soul is dark. No sensible man will choose his wife in a ball-room. (Ball-rooms?....such trash!)

4. Beware of Novel Reading, especially Novelettes appearing in weekly issues. They are nothing but sentimental stories that absorb you with the joys and sorrows of imaginary people. Then rob you of food and sleep just to read them. (Yes, reading/bad...eating/good)

5. Do not drift heedlessly into the union of heart with heart. Fancy a look, a smile, a touch, a moment's talk in a crowded room, amid the excitement of an evening's gaiety, any of these is deemed sufficient to justify a choice, that may affect the destiny of the spirit for evermore. (Yes, it's much better to be unfriendly and standoffish)

I really did find this amusing and in contrast to this world we live in today, have things really changed that much in just 100 years? That's just 3 generations! Even though I giggled here and there, later on I had a hard think about this. I could really start to worry, but I have too much hope for the future. I see how people are slowly changing and desiring this world to be a more positive place to live in. No, I don't want to turn back the clock as far as old ball-room etiquette, but I wouldn't mind blushing a little more.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


luminescent ~ incandescent
radiate ~ illuminate
shimmering and glimmering
twinkle ~ sparkle ~ dazzle
This is for the hard days. The days that seem to begin in the dark and somehow penetrate under your skin. May you be filled with light today.

Monday, September 18, 2006


stretching tall beside this immensity
your fragrance rises
and sweetness
fills the breeze
in appearance, you are by far,
the lesser
and your stem bends under the weight
of your heavy crown
you stand the trials of living,
exposed on every side,
you brace to intensify your hold
knowing all along
that the winds that force their will,
also carry your perfume.

Friday, September 15, 2006

A Gift From the Sky

Today it rained...just the tiniest bit. I was busy cleaning the house and happened to be standing right next to an open window. I heard the quiet 'pitter patter' of the raindrops hitting the tin roof of our shed close by. I stopped and listened, put my nose to the window and took a deep breath. Nothing else smells like rain, and especially the first rain of the season. It only lasted for less than 3 minutes or so, and I just stood there quiet, really listening. In those moments, the birds silenced their singing, all the neighborhood dogs stopped their barking and the universe took notice of these small drops of clear water. I personify rain...when it pours, it feels like the clouds are purging themselves of overdue heaviness. But today, it was a serene peaceful moment, that was so powerful, all living things honored its arrival. And that peaceful feeling washed over me and soothed my yearning soul.

Happy Birthday Sweet Sister of Mine ~ You are loved :)

Thursday, September 14, 2006


imperfections in you I can not change
why were those things I once loved in the beginning
some even made me smile and laugh
imperfections in me now
why did I think they were all fine yesterday
some even made me feel smug and pretty
imperfections in this world
why did we ever feel safe and invincible
some days we even played and danced
imperfections we all live with today
are yesterdays memories
and tomorrows forgiving
~Go ahead and break me open
I still have treasures inside to behold~
(I made this yesterday out of frustration. I did it through blinding tears of rejection and I ended up smiling at it's beautiful message to me.)

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

New journal

The other night it was so cold, I had to put another blanket on my bed...Yeah! Autumn is in the air and I follow my own tradition. A new season means a new journal. A new journal always feels like a clean slate to me. Writers block disappears, idea's sprout in my brain and poetry is lovely again. Summer slips away, along with cold drinks and strappy tops and in comes hot tea & cocoa, sweaters and knitted scarves. I snuggle down on my big couch and with brightly colored pens of every color, ceremoniously open up my new journal and smell it...then I begin. My husband loves this time of year also because...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Road Side Art?

Every day, I see this memorial of a young girl who had just received her drivers license. She is not the only one who has died here. Later on down the road, is another memorial of a young man.
I live in a small agricultural farming community, and we have many long country roads that entice young drivers to speed, or not pay enough attention during the long stretches of pavement. Eventually, a new memorial shows up and becomes part of the scenery like new art that suddenly appears. At first, it is always so tragic to see, especially if we, by some slim chance, didn't already hear about the accident. But as time passes, the silk flowers fade, vandals take the mementoes and someone looses interest in it's upkeep. Then the city sweeps everything away and leaves a bare spot. I think this is very sad and I have mixed feelings regarding the idea of putting up a memorial on a city street. Some people may argue that it's no different than a plaque dedication on a building, or a pillar somewhere near an important historical site, (obviously, I have already had these discussions :) but these memorials have a graveyard kind of feel to them. To me, they look misplaced and it's not somewhere one can stop for reflection, or have a conversation with your loved one. It just says, "John Doe died right here on this very spot." And, I'm sorry, but they always give me a more creepy feeling than a reflective one.
~ I get a lot of Federal Express stuff brought to my house. I am always ordering something online for the business, and I also get many packages from well wishers and my hubbies latest toys. So, another thing that comes with living in a small town is that, I really get to know my postal delivery people. We are friendly and call each other by name. Because I have lupus, I am one of the few people that are actually home and able to answer the door to chat about the weather, our kids, my health and the like. Mr. R is my Fed Ex man and he has had this route for quite some time, a few years I think. 3 weeks ago, I got a package, it was a record breaking hot day and Mr. R was overheated and breathing hard. In my concern, I got him a big glass of iced water, which he gulped down in a flash, and then we had a delightful conversation. He left and my day resumed, as did his.
~Minutes later I heard police and fire sirens blaring close by and knew that it must have been something big because the sirens just kept on coming for an unusual amount of time. I called a friend (you you do when the electricity shuts off) and we discussed the dire sounds of the last few minutes. Later, she called me back, "Darlene, it was a head on collision on X road! A semi-truck crossed over the center line and instantly killed a Fed Ex driver!!!"
~I asked if his name was Mr. R, was he African American, what was his route? Was it a man, a big man? Who, who who?" No answers. The news paper the next day didn't help in the identity either. The person was referred to as "the Fed Ex employee." Ever since that day, Mr. R has not knocked on my door again. I had been seeing this kind man, who works so very hard, but always asks me, "How's your health today, Mrs S?" and I haven't seen him since that day. I want to call the office, but a part of me is afraid to. I want to find out that his route got changed, not that he was the Fed Ex employee.
~Now when I drive down that part of road X, I look for a new memorial, and breathe out hard when I don't see one. Maybe it takes some of the families more time than other's to muster up the emotional strength required to actually build one? Maybe they don't agree with honoring someone that way? Maybe I'll just have to make that phone call after all.
~My point is this...if a memorial suddenly did show up on the side of the road and it was for Mr. R, I would have an emotional attatchment to it. I might even go as far as putting something there, along with all the other small items that get glued in place. I may even talk to him as I pass by in my car, letting him know that no one delivers my packages like he did, or that I miss him asking me how I was feeling that day. Or, having small chats over a glass of cold water on a hot day.
~So, I drive towards the memorial that you see in the picture above and now I say, "I'm sorry Tasha, I'm sure you were a delightful, beautiful young lady and I'm sure that your parents miss you a great deal and keep you in their hearts." I no longer look at it as an 'out of place' memorial. It is now a reminder that I am lucky to be alive and that every once in awhile the ones that are gone need to be reminded that they are still special and loved...maybe even by a stranger.

Monday, September 11, 2006

"Long Live the Queen"

"Why am I even posting this?" The words I said aloud in my empty room for no one to hear, but me. Besides the fact that this is a very sad day in history indeed, my news is also sad and I wanted it to be....oh, so much more than the reality of this experience. And that is all this weekend was, an experience, no one can dispute it, or explain it. I don't need any explanations, this is my story to tell...

~I woke up early Saturday morning to make sure that my hair and makeup looked just right. Heavy, extended eyeliner gave me an exotic feel and my lips were lined and pouty. I donned the Royal outfit and put on my Gold heals, gazed in the mirror at this character that I was about to play, so I held my arms in the air and shimmied my hips to make the beads dance and sing. They did and I became the princess that I was supposed to be for this event. I smiled at my most alluring self, I felt proud and humbled to be representing Royalty in a culture that I was not born into and walked out of my world, prepared and ready to enter another.

~The big hall was shiny and huge mirrored pillars lined the room. People were running around setting up sound systems, kitchen humming with yummy smells and women's deep laughter, vendors arranging their wares, this way and that, until everything looked just perfect. I got to work to achieve the same thing...perfection. I made a mental note that no one else was 'dressed' for the occasion, but myself, and I inwardly thanked Mrs. M for allowing me to wear one of her many costumes. Her family arrived and greeted me warmly, admiring how their Mother's dress looked on me. They were dressed up also, so we all spun around and shimmied, laughing at how girls will be girls and giggling at our silly behavior. They were a prominent family in this community, the eldest daughter being a TV celebrity from their own channel and the rest responsible for all the hard details that involve putting on an event of this magnitude. The big clock struck 11:00 a.m. and the ethnic music began.

~Chills ran down my spine as the room began to fill up with people, their people and I thought the music added such a festive feel, that ebbed and flowed, moved around the hall like a smoke that surrounded you and transported you to another time....and that's when it began.

~I was clearly an alien here. I received harsh looks, mumblings in a language that I could not understand, sneers at my wares and silence was the average response, as I smiled and greeted each person who braved coming over to my tables. No one bought anything, even the children...not yet tainted with long life, would run up to their momma's and papa's, asking for money because they had found a pretty treasure that caught their eye, only to be told, "NO!" and I noticed that the child never visited my table again.

~That did it for me. That was the arrow that struck the hurtful blow...the children. I was the most excited about the jewelry that I had made for the children. I love all children and I imagined little girls wanting the tags cut off right away, so that they could wear the bracelets and necklaces that sparkled with rainbow shiny beads of every color. Their parents doused their excitement with fierce denial and one time, a little girl looked back at me, her eyes saying, "I'm sorry" for her parents humiliating behavior. I was rejected and I held my head up high, even returning the next day because I had given my word to be there, but that day the princess dress felt like a weight I had to carry around and the sounds of the beads as I walked, my heavy emotions put to sound. I was rejected the second day, even worse than the first. My husband came at 7 p.m. on that last day and saw the pain in my eyes. We packed up, him a little faster than me, and we snuck out the back. I held my Jewels in my lap. Lovingly made with my hands and tenderly placed back in the box. I was silent, but I could hear my husband's loving words of reassurance somewhere in the distance of my mind on the way home. I didn't cry until I got back and closed myself up into the bathroom. The thick eyeliner ran down my face, mingled with my tears and I stood there in the princess dress inwardly fighting off big words like prejudice, judging, stereotyping and I swore off any negative thoughts towards these people before they could infiltrate my core.

~I took off the dress and with it I shed the last 2 days. I laid down on my bed, my head resting on my favorite soft pillow and I cried again, but this time I cried for the children...and the little girl with the sorry eyes.

I am okay. I learned a hard lesson, one that I wish I hadn't, which is foreign to me, because my nature is to welcome learning and lessons. Maybe it's today and today's date that will never be the same again. I don't know...I just want to stop and smell the roses, keep making things that I think are beautiful and cling to the hope that still lives inside of me. The hope that all people really want... is to love and be loved.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Festival Frenzy

Right before this picture was taken, I was throwing back my head and hysterically laughing, "BWaaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaa!" I have my first festival this weekend, that I will be setting up for tonight, because I sell all of my wares here locally. I have been a CRAZY woman hand making cards, jewelry of all sorts, including a children's line. It all has to be priced, pinned and arranged, I've already had 2 panic attacks and snapped at my husband for no reason. And he is still getting me my morning that's love!

My parents are coming to help me, as is my son and the best part is.....I get to dress up like an Assyrian Princess :) I love to dress up in costumes, but I have to say, their accent is very hard to mimic, so I won't be attempting that.

I will be taking plenty of pictures and catching up on everyone's blog asap. Wish me luck and sanity when this is all over...Ekkkkkkkkk ;^)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

"Love Affair with the Bright Medusa"

I am having a love affair with a book by Willa Cather. People collect all sorts of things, tea pots, baseball cards, figurines, but me?...I love old books. I realize that many of you out there may share this very same love so, I'm hoping you'll understand my excitement of this find and my experiential explanations.
While shopping downtown with my Mother, we came across an antique store with a book sale. They lured us in with their sidewalk sandwich signs and brightly colored accents that read, "50% off!" I found this wonderful green book within minutes of looking and I was done shopping for the day. Here was my treasure that had been patiently waiting for my arrival.

Upon opening the front, the words caught my eyes with great delight. Copyright 1920. It was a first edition and in very good condition. Willa Cather was a well known journalist, editor and children's book writer in her time and she later went on to write adult literature. She was a woman before her time, living in the Victorian age, dressing like a man and openly having affairs with other promonate women.

In the back cover of the book, I discovered a label in the lower right hand corner proving that the book went to a San Francisco book store.

The pages are worn with time and the repeated use of others. Each edge is soft, frayed and some are discolored. The front rind is darkened with the natural oils that come from ones hands. I can only guess the many places this book has visited and the many lives that have been moved by the words and stories.
But my favorite part by far has got to be the smell of the book inside. It is a fragrance all its own and nothing else smells like an old book, but an old book. As you read it, the fumes waft upward toward your face, transcending space and time, lifting the reader to another place and era. Standing in the antique store, I opened the book to its middle, held it close to my face and breathed deeply, closing my eyes and anticipating a new journey ahead. So, if by chance you and I ever get to go shopping in some small obscure little town, you'll know where to find me...I'll be in the old library section of the antique stores, with my nose, literally in a book.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

All About Books

I was tagged last week by bek and I am just now getting to it (bad bad blogger). Books, books, books! I love books just as much as I like shoes. I love the smell of them (books, not shoes:) I love them old, I love them new, now I sound like Dr. Suess.

All time favorite book~ This would have to be "Whitney My Love" by Judith McNaught. It is just light reading and for some reason really made an impact on valuing relationships. Every once in a while, we go through the 'relationship slump' this booked pulled me out of it.
The Book I wish had never been written~ That would have to be, "The Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee. This was required reading for a college class I took on religion and this man came from Saturn and writes in Saturnese. Forcing me to read this book would be a death sentence.
A book that you loved while in school~ That was "Stuart Little" but I highly recommend this book for reading with children by Mary Ann Hoberman. It is funny, delightful, and a must have for all parents and grandparents alike. "You Read to Me, I'll Read to You" is interactive, dramatic and brings out all of those playful voices in you, you never knew existed.
The book that made you laugh~ This book made me laugh, cry and buy all the sequels. "Voyager" by Diana Gabaldon is a time travelers book. Just wonderful and all kinds of surprises along the way.
The book that made me cry~ Hands down was "The Time Traveler's Wife." I don't think I could get through it a second time.
The book I've been meaning to read~ was "the five people you meet in heaven." However, not only have I read this one, but I also saw the movie....silly me :) Very very good....both!
The book I read more than once~ Would be "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck. As a matter of fact, I'm quite ready to read it winter choice.
The book I am currently reading~ "Dreams and their Meanings" by Richard Craze. My brain has been very active lately and I have never taken any dream I may have lightly. This book has been very helpful in figuring myself out.......a challenge, indeed!
The book that has changed my life~ This one I thought long and hard about...many books have changed my life, but no book like the bible has truly challenged me to change my life like this one. I am a spiritual person and believe in God. However, the bible was written by man and inspired by God. I take what I read with a grain of salt and a prayer for enlightenment. Upon doing this, I began to understand it better, as opposed to just taking it word for word as truth. Realizing that the bible was 'man written' and had also gone through many religious upheavals and changes, was an eye opener for me and it released me to objectively read the bible. It was not to be 'worshiped' I believe it was written to cause us to ask questions and then seek out their answers.

A word about books in general....devour them! As Susannah is experiencing, many author's heart and soul get poured into their writings. We should respect that and treat each book as if it will be the very last one we will ever read. I'm not going to tag anyone. But if you want to share a fantastic book you've read in my comment my guest :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Choosing

Yesterday's path bare the worn footprints of my travels.
Impressions made in sand that have drifted back to sea.
Retracing my steps comes natural, a pulling in that direction.
The familiar struggle to walk that which is known
inviting me to cover ground with a sunken duplicate.

Today's steps promise places strange to my understanding
I cannot see but one foot in front of the other.
A fresh adventure, or more of just the same?
Shadows that do not follow, but advance.
A body formation with no heart to lead it.

Tomorrows road, a lantern glows off in the distance.
Offering me hope that is born from its light.
Illuminating small portions, the remainder left in dark.
My eyes grip that which beacons to me,
a passing moment, born from fear of the unknown.

Which road do you take and why?

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Love in Pink

I am just tickled pink from all the love that I have felt from all of you. Whatever did we do before blogger? I appreciate this amazing community, the wisdom and sharing, but most of all I adore how each and every one of you is so different and talented in your own unique way.

It is a strange thing indeed to be 'the lady on the block' that the ambulance visits at random moments. I have no idea what everyone thinks....and I have to admit that I see them look at me funny on a good day when I'm getting my mail, looking perfectly healthy, but I don't want to go door to door and explain the mysteries of Lupus. so I leave them with their thoughts and keep holding my head up high.

I have been instructed to lay still due to low blood pressure right now, so you all have been my entertainment and my hope. If ANY of you have EVER wondered if your posts and comments have been unimportant or that your voice is just a small whisper in a big parade, I am here to tell you that what you write and what you say just may be the exact piece of hope that someone like me needs just to get through the day.

YOU are special...YOU are important...YOU are necessary...YOU are me :^)