Thursday, January 31, 2008

among thorns

situations can be celebrated but
this is not one of them for
too many days have been allowed to
flitter away into nothingness and I
don't pretend to understand it all so
long ago I stopped asking why or
expected anyone to hold my hand while
sitting here in the middle surrounded by
all these thorns that feel like an enemy who
consistently tests my ability to hang
onto the big dreamer born
inside that took up residence in
my hearts

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Pardon my absence...I have been dragging since Christmas and I'm still catching up on regaining my energy supply. I have been very sick, but by grace have avoided the hospital. I have caught myself day dreaming a lot and taking stock of my life as I welcome in 2008.

I proudly and purposely didn't make any lists for the new year, but I did purchase a very "Me" day~timer to better record what I eat, do or not do, any weather changes and how it all directly affects me. I know it is such a cliche, but I really want to listen to my body and do a better job of respecting it.

People living with chronic illnesses have tendencies to abuse themselves when a good health day rolls along. I am extremely guilty of this and have decided to become a student of myself. One message that has been coming in loud and clear is:

"Don't Give Up On Your Hopes & Dreams"

I figured that if I have been needing to hear this, maybe you need to hear it too. The dreams that we have either been born with, or acquired over time are gifts given to us with no intentions of being revoked. Give each dream some room to grow and be nurtured. Each One is like a small child that needs attention in order to flourish.

And never give up on hope.
Hope surprises us with precious miracles, especially when we least expect it. Hope is a necessary ingredient to faith... and faith believes that nothing is impossible.

I am imagining that you feel encouraged...I know I do!

Monday, January 07, 2008

cling and climb

There are days
that we feel
as if parts of us
are growing in
two different
Your mind
goes one way
and your body
goes another.
The lists we make
don't match up
with the hours
in one day.

And don't bother
comparing yourself
with those around you
because they will always
look more accomplished
than you are. The only thing that this creates is discouragement, which usually takes away your motivation. What often appears as a weakness, ends up becoming the strength that you are grateful for. Be patient.

Don't make the mistake
of looking
too far ahead
into the future.
There are
big walls
to climb
and conquer,
but it is wise
to keep
looking forward,
taking one step
at a time,
inching your way
to the top.

no matter
how small.

You hold
your own
just as
you are,
unique, special
and worth
waiting for.
Let others
help you,
see their
paved roads
and then
pave your own.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

waiting for lulls

Storms have consumed the last 48 hours and another one is getting ready to burst. We have had record breaking winds and the television News keeps sending out severe weather warnings, reports telling everyone to stay inside and keep off the roads. I have 4 extremely large trees in our backyard that is home to many birdy friends and I have never seen these trees whip and bend like this before. I find myself concerned, wondering where the birds find shelter.

All was silent until late this morning during the lull between bursts. Safe and unharmed, a countless number of birds returned, happy to be bathing, eating and singing. In just one moment the sky darkened and the rain began pelting down again. All the birds have gone back into hiding, their songs are silenced for the moment.

And these storms, like trials and bad lupus days, come and go. We bend, but do not break, we sway, leaning into the wind and wait for the lull in between...

and wait for the lull in between.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


~*~ reflecting ~*~

2007 fond memories
watching my son recover his life
now we share a history
lessons learned through love and strife

2008 you've just begun
making lists new goals and dreams
looking forward to battles won
and the bonds still set to free

2009 you lie asleep
distant and still far away
not a worry fret or weep
in God's hands I know you'll stay