ruminations

I have felt a little
better the last
couple of days.
This flare was
one of the more
harsh I have
endured this
spring and it
warranted a visit
to see my doctor.
Blood tests galore,
a shot and some
scary low blood
pressure was
all part of the
routine.
But, I have the best doctor in the world who makes me feel better for just seeing him. He is indeed an angel in the disguise of a doctor. With berries ripening on the vine, I picked a few for my breakfast and sat with the sun on my face for just a quick moment. I am feeling thankful to be alive, to have family and friends that love me and a God that watches over me. I am always seeking for the lessons I have to learn on this journey with a weak body in tow. I often wonder if having lived with good health...would I have been too self absorbed, or even more selfish than I already am?
Someone obviously needs my undivided attention because I no longer take things for granted and feel fully aware of all things happening around me. Like the beautiful flowers that are growing in my backyard. Each one is vibrant in its own right and I am appreciating Springtime more than ever. But the learning must be more than how to appreciate something? I think I am waiting for something profound to suddenly dawn in my brain. Maybe I am wrong to feel that I have given something up and therefore expect something in return? Our accumulations don't leave this Earth with us and that is not what I am after. Accomplishments don't either, so what am I looking for? Quality time is what I think most people crave...and I have plenty of that, yes...I have plenty of that.