Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Q & A


















Please excuse my absence.
I understand the freedom people are looking for when they "Blog Without Obligation" but, I don't know how to do that, especially when it comes to something that I've poured my heart into. However, I do like 'balance' and I am glad that this community is finding a way to accomplish that. We are all participants in this nationally recognised phenomenon and 'baby Blogger' is growing up. We are experiencing this firsthand and from the ground floor, just imagine what all of this will be like one year from now.

The last 12 months of my life have been painfully difficult and I honestly can't imagine getting through it without the support I have received from all of you, for this...I am eternally grateful.

~*~ I am experiencing a delayed reaction to the most recent crises that have occurred. The only way I can explain it is this...I gird myself to get through extreme difficulties by putting up walls of brick when I know that falling apart is not an option. Later, when it is safe, the walls begin to come down, one brick at a time and I am left with an unobstructed view of what has transpired. I realize that certain things will never be the same and now I must make my own transitions to fine tune these adjustments.

~* When Mark walks into a room, the cane, limp and the careful way he holds his body are all a part of who he is now. I miss the old Mark, the one I didn't have to worry so much about, is that okay?

~* My health has deteriorated and my last few doctor's appointments have all ended with the same conclusion... I'm getting older and living with Lupus is just going to be more difficult. They can only offer me so much and the rest is left for me to deal with. Just when I feel like I've got a handle on my circumstances, they change...and the spiritual lessons are endless and often tiring. It doesn't help that I am a deep thinker with loads of thinking time. Things often appear exaggerated or neglected and I find it all very confusing to figure out. Again, I grieve the loses and try to make adjustments with what is left over.

~* I must...must work on my website. Even though my focus and vision are locally centered (getting my wares into the surrounding cities where I live) time and time again, it is obvious that a business cannot be maintained without a website. It is no longer an option, but a given. I am doing this all on my own, have purchased the programs, brainstormed the ideas...I must put the wheels in motion, I have procrastinated long enough. I keep second guessing myself and have to constantly hush the negative voices in my head that say....I'm not even going to put these words into print, I am smart and I can do this. (:$)

~* I am going to release the pressure that I put on myself and take a blogging break. I am going to stop reading other's blogs without commenting, a very bad habit I've adopted. If I read, I will comment, I can't make it any more plain than that. For myself, I can't be working on a website project and wondering about posting and pictures. If I get an urge to post, I will. I am reminding myself that my journal book doesn't scream at me if I don't write in it and neither will you.

~* I am not going anywhere and I am never too busy for lovely email lovins. This may take me 2 weeks, or an entire month, I've never created a website before...I hope my stone age computer classes resurface.... ha ha!

~*~ Lastly, I am loving you, appreciating you and not leaving...just breathing a little :)











(This is the first draft of my business card)

love and see you soon! xxx ooo

26 Comments:

Anonymous Dreamer Girl said...

~*~Darlene~*

It's okay to miss the old Mark, natural even. You want him to be healthy, so seeing that he's still struggling with his health, your longing for the old healthy Mark seems logical to me.

It's also okay to miss the old you. Grieve your loss, the process will help you heal and adjust.

About the website: if you need any help, just let me know. I'm not a pro, but I have made a few website myself.

Breathe, have faith and know that I'm thinking of you.

You & your family are in my prayers.


Loving you!!!

XOXO Silvia

2:43 PM  
Blogger Mary Timme said...

I can only say that 'knowing' you, through blogging is a privilege, Darlene. Can you miss the old Mark? Why not? I miss seeing my son young and cocky and indominatible, instead beginning in his 40's to be bowed by heavy work in his choice of using his body and not his brain. And when the body starts going--oh my goodness, been there girl friend, and I don't have anything as difficult as lupus--the only sensible thing to do is grieve for it also.

The walls that have to be built for you to stand against for a time. Know that too. It's hard! When you have to be strong and you feel like jello instead. Yep, I can email. Not a problem. I hear that doing a website is like giving birth! Argh!

3:23 PM  
Blogger Wanda said...

You are the most beautiful and courageous woman I know!!! I mean that! You know I do.

Our love runs deep over the years.

Sweet Darlene, It's been 18 years, but when I see Jill walk into the room with her limp.. I weep inside because I miss the old Jill too, but I love the woman she has become through her injuries and pain.

I feel your heart!

I love you forever, and will miss your blogging.....but I'm the lucky one...I can come over an see you and share a Starbucks...I'm blessed.

Wanda Mom

3:26 PM  
Blogger Georgia said...

Hello Beautiful!

I too have adopted the bad habit of not commenting most of the blogs I read, because I use google reader to read most of them now.

You have been through so much, take time for yourself and be gentle... I can't wait to see your site! You will have to share with me how it goes building your site, I have been tinkering with the idea myself.

Love to you!

xoxo

3:57 PM  
Blogger LisaOceandreamer said...

I read here all the time and do not comment. I have absolutely no idea why except I feel once I start it will become novel in length. I have always silently supported you and still do.
I think you need to take this precious time for you and you alone. You've dealt with a lot and continue to do so...you need to focus because there are big things ahead for you. As someone who has purchased one of your pieces I know full well how fantastic your work is. I'm really excited for your website.
I also hold you in my heart as you face changes in your illness and hope with all my heart the good days outweigh the bad.
However much time you take is YOUR decision, truly there is no obligation except to yourself for anything you do.
Just know the light will always be on!
Sending you love, light and hugs,
Lisa

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Teresa Sheeley said...

HELLO MY DEAR!!
I think I am excited about your new website!! I also think it's about time for me to buy another necklace!! I again I think it's perfectly normal for you to want the old Mark back, we all want our children to be flawless and perfect, and Mark is just that now, because he is a product of a spectacular miracle. I think that even with your illness to me you are one of the most strong, courageous women I have ever encountered!!

I am sending you the biggest lovins and hugs I have!!! In this past year, you have become a dear friend!!

Teresa
xxxooo

8:48 PM  
Blogger amy said...

Good to be reading your blog again. I'm still not back in the US, but on a layover with tons of time to get caught up on the few blogs that I follow on a regular basis.

I'm excited to see your finished product. The first drafts of your business card looks great, so your website will be fabulous.

I continue to pray for you and your family. I'm always encouraged by your honesty with us and with the Lord.

I understand the need for a break.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

I am going to make this quick as I am meant to be applying "seed" approachs to my "creative space"... I'll e-mail later, as I have so much to say, but not enough space or time. But I wanted to send a BIGBIG Cyber hug and I know a little about procratinating... it's a constant battle.... :) I love the "first" draft, very you,

Big hugs sweety,
Love Toni

11:51 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

sweet, honest, open blogger girl :)
the previous comments ring true: you don't have to feel guilty for missing bygone better days... you would be a very odd human being if you didn't :)
I love my necklace (thank you, thank you) and can't wait to order something new soon... I'm going to wait for your website to be up to order :)
I'll miss your posts while you're on your break but knowing that you're pursuing something new that you love really makes me smile :))))
Vx

2:14 AM  
Blogger wish studio said...

congratulations on giving your soul what it needs...a creative leap (love the business cards!), time to breath, space to reconnect. it's all necessary and good. i am with you in heart, and hope yours is filled to the brim :) xo, mindy

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Brian said...

((((Darlene))))

I am taking a break in May myself to finish my book. Blogging is wonderful and has opened my heart and soul to so many, but now, it is time for me to work on my stuff.

I wish you well in your journey, and may you find safe harbor.

Love

6:25 AM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

I don't define friendships based on how many times I hear from them. I base them on the fact that they're there and love me and support me. So you take any break you want. I'm just lucky to have you as a friend - one post a year or one post an hour!

Love you...Lynette

6:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I for one, will be looking forward to your return but I sure understand the need for time to take care of business.

As for Mark, there's two of him to love, the old and the new and in the future there will probably be a third and a fourth..and more.

Every passage in life, to my mind anyway, creates almost a totally new being with just hints of the old. If our cells are always being replaced, then we are brand new every few years or so. I think the problem is holding on to the old definitions so tightly we keep believing the old is who we are. Well gee, listen to me ramble.

The point is I hope you have a wonderfully creative respite from the blog and get your website going as you desire.

sandy xoxox

11:04 AM  
Blogger daisies said...

good for you for looking after you and doing what you need to do :)

i have been blogging for four years now and i come and go in spurts of reading and not commenting, not reading, writing a lot. last year i pretty much stopped all internet activity for months on end because that is what i needed at that time.

its always here waiting for you when you need it, that is the beauty of this form of expression :)

can't wait to see your site
sending you love

11:25 AM  
Blogger Julie H said...

What a beautiful business card.

Take all the time you need, and when you return we will be here to listen, and to share, you are loved.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

Good Luck darb, your business card is as beautiful as you. I love you for so much. You have been an integral part of my healing and I am so excited for your new venture.
Sounds sooo exciting.

Will email Love you huge sweetness.

((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

6:37 PM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Hey sweet Darlene,

Yes! We all need balance and breathing room ... well stated my dear. I'm glad that you're moving forward with the website and plans.

As for your healing, missing the Mark before the accident is normal and expected. It is hard to get to that point where you realize some things will never be the same. But isn't that what life is really about? Constant change and shifting.

I send prayers, love and healing thoughts to you ... Lupus is a big challenge.

In love and support,
Deb

11:23 PM  
Anonymous suzie q said...

Hi sweetheart ~*~ I know you have many many more things to think about and mull over, but I wanted you to know that I, too, am feeling the need for a blogging break and have even said so recently. We 'twins' are indeed deep thinkers, and I am having trouble putting any of it into words at the minute...
I wish you so much success with the website, and am filled with admiration for you for having a go. I know you can do it, and so well! I love the first draft, it is so sophisticated and so beautiful - just like you! :)
I wish you many very happy returns of this, your special day, and am sending huge amounts of love & hugs your way...
Love you, Darlene.
Be blessed, always xXx

1:18 AM  
Blogger Andrew Armand said...

Blogging break is essential when you want to collect your thoughts and to put everything right, Probably you should think about renewing your shoes? (:

2:51 AM  
Anonymous Annie said...

Dearest Darlene,

Absolutely stunning first draft of your business card.

Like many of the others who have left their love and comments, I just want to say that it's OK to grieve your losses, and (do not take this the wrong way!!!!) the decision to take a blogging break is one of the best things you could do at this moment in time.

You need your time to create your website and develop/concentrate on other things.

Of course, we'll miss you very, very much. I will really miss your beautiful presence and pictures. It's so cool seeing how the other half of the world looks 8-)

The further I go on my own beading/jewellry making, the more absolute awe I feel when looking at your pieces. You have an incredible talent.

They are stunning creations and deserve a website, so that a larger audience can stop, admire and buy!

My husband is a web monster, er master, if you ever need any input.

With lots and lots of love, Annie, Peter, Matthew and Gracie

5:53 AM  
Blogger Regina Clare Jane said...

It is only natural what you are going through, dear Darlene- and it does take time. I know because of losing daddy just how hard it is, too.
I think you should follow your heart in whatever way you must... and we will be here for you.
Thank you for sharing all your strength and courage with us- now, take some time for you...
xoxo

11:03 AM  
Blogger Michelle O'Neil said...

Amazing photo!

Blessings on your new project.

4:54 PM  
Blogger AnnieElf said...

I'm wishing you all the best with your website for your beautiful jewelry. The business card is uniquely a reflection of the work you do.

9:00 AM  
Blogger me-nikk said...

You are PERFECT!!! just the way you are and at this particular place your at!!!

xoxoxo

11:59 AM  
Blogger me-nikk said...

You are PERFECT!!! just the way you are and at this particular place your at!!!

xoxoxo

11:59 AM  
Blogger Becoming Amethyst said...

I have missed you too sweetie ~ good luck with your new website ~ I know it's going to be FABULOUS!!!

(((hugs)))

love bb xox

2:37 AM  

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