Wednesday, December 20, 2006

"Mark...honey, you've been in an accident."

Update #3 ~ I woke up this morning because I heard myself scream his name. It was dark, my husband isn't here and the remembering comes flooding back into my brain. I panic and fly from my bed of drug induced sleep to get the phone, dial, I needed information.
J answers...he's crying...what! WHAT! "Mark needs another blood transfusion, he's still bleeding inside from the shredded muscle tissue." ~ Mark's muscles were torn open down his front and from there across his side to his spine, that is where he broke his back, that is what stopped him from being torn in two (his seat belt) saved his life. (Torn) muscle can't be stitched back together like a cut muscle. That is where the bleeding is coming from. That is why one of the many tubes that are coming out of his body, keeps filling with blood. That , and a tube for urine, a tube for the bile in his stomach, a tube in his lungs, a tube in his nose, a tube in his heart, a tube for food, a tube for saline, a tube for medicine, a tube down his throat...Damn it! There are machines everywhere, each one making it's own beep, flashing numbers, but the worst one by far is seeing his chest rise and fall, at a faster rate than is normal, and the loud pump (swoosh) as it forces air into his chest, that is black with bruising. He had one lucid moment this morning as his medicine had temporarily worn thin. He became frantic and tried to talk, J called his name and held his face and said, "Mark...honey, you've been in an accident." Mark remembered and he slammed his fist down on the bed. The nurse came in to increase his meds and soon he floated into oblivion again.
(The accident story) Mark and his work friend Brian were driving home from a work Christmas party. My son lives out in the country. Brian was driving too fast and Mark asked him to slow down 3 times. The road they were on dead ended to a cross street that had a big canal running down it. Without breaking, the car went through the end of the street stop sign, flew over the canal and was stopped by the impact of a large iron phoneline pole. I don't know how long the boys were unconscious. Mark crawled out of the car, across the water of the canal and up the cement side. He pulled himself onto the street and called us on his cell phone. We arrived as the ambulance pulled up. Mark was lying on his back screaming. When they cut his shirt away, I could see the big bulge off to the side. I knew...I just knew. I got down on my hands and knees as my son lay their naked in the freezing night air, that I was numb to, and kissed his face saying, "I love you Mark, I love you." The MT's pushed me aside. I tuned into the arms of a stranger and buried my face into her chest and cried. She felt like family as she held me tight and smoothed my head. My son drove away in a blur of lights and sirens. How bad were those internal injuries and would I see him alive again?
Mark will receive another blood transfusion today, remain in the ICU and I will make an entry later today. I have read and re-read your comments. They, and my family, are the only things keeping me from falling apart. I can't thank you enough...I can't thank you enough...I will tell Mark today that their are people all over the world praying, lighting candles and sending positive energy his way. He won't understand me, but I will and we both will feel the love.


Blogger acumamakiki said...

i feel bad that it's me here, responding first since i'm such a random commenter here. your family and especially mark have been in my prayers the past 24 hours and i continue to send healing thoughts and messages out into the universe for your son. the fact that he slammed his fist shows his incredible strength to survive.
i'm sitting here in shock after reading that story, that he was able to pull himself from that wreck and call you. love to you and your family, darlene.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

I am going to pick up Wyatt from school right now. We are going to stop at the church and drop of the prayer request, and light candles for him, I will tell Wyatt about mark, and he will say his special little boy prayers for him... Pure love.

I will be thinking of you all day!


10:59 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

quickie comment to ACUMAMAKIKI - you're not a stranger... there are no stranger when someone in our society needs our help. your words are kind, reassuring and definitely helpful to OUR dear friend.

now, to my comment...

thank you for the update. all of our positive thoughts/prayers/meditations are with you... for as long as you and your dear son need them.

hugs n stuff


11:13 AM  
Blogger a m y said...

I have tears rolling down my cheeks for you, honey. God, I wish I could change this for you. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

I send you love, light, peace, clarity for the doctors, strength for you and for Mark, and blessings upon blessings upon miracles.

Love, love, love to you...

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you don't know me ... i just found your blog a few days ago through the linking wonder that is the internet. your son is just a few years younger than me. i have been reading and re-reading the story, tears coming to my eyes every time.

know that i've told those close to me about your son, and his story is flying across the country (and the world) as people join together to lift him up. know that people from nebraska (where i live) to the east cost to the west coast and everywhere in between are keeping his name on their lips.

as he continues to heal i know he'll be so grateful for the love he's being sent from all around the world, but for now, it's good you know it as well.

i will continue to pray.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

I'm visiting by way of Sheila at September Song. As a mother I can feel your pain. I don't know you or your son but I will keep you both in my thoughts, and send positive energy your way. This blogging community is a wonderful place and together we can accomplish miracles when we all work together.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

I am continuing to wish you all grace and strength right now. This afternoon, I was reading an old book and found this poem by Wendell Berry--I hope his words can offer a moment of peace during your harrowing time.

The Peace of Wild Things
by Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

My thoughts are with you...

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Continuing to send him love and light and healing energy...

11:38 AM  
Blogger nicole said...

still thinking of him, of your family. i have such a strong feeling that he will be OK, that though it's so hard right now he will come through this stronger than ever and will survive. love to you.

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Claire said...

We are all holding you Darlene.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Here via Amber at The Believing, so sorry to hear of your son's accident. You and he are in my thoughts.

12:13 PM  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Sweet Darlene, I have a huge knot in my stomach after reading this. I am continuing to pray and think of you all. And you know what? I absolutely believe that Mark will hear you and understand you in regards to the huge circle that is manifesting and sending a huge wave of healing and love. I believe that deep inside, he will understand this, even if he is unable to acknowledge it to you right now.

Thank you for letting us know how he is doing....I will continue to check in.

Sending you love and hugs...and prayers.

Love to you,

12:13 PM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Darlene, his will to live is strong, and the very fact that he slammed his fist down as you describe tells us he is fighting hard.
We are all in his corner, praying and keeping him and your family close to our hearts.
Trust in God to do what is right, and know he is watching over you.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Star said...

You and Mark are always on my mind. You were the last thing on my mind as I lay in bed last night and the first thing I thought of when I awoke this morning; as I move through my day I keep you close.

As I lit the candle on my desk this morning, I thought about its light and the positive effect it has on me as I struggle with they busy-ness of my work at this time of year. Know that each time I see its flame I am sending a flame of hope to burn in your heart and that each time I smell its sweetness I grow more and more sure of the sweet homecoming that will take place when Mark walks across your threshold and into your embrace.

I love that you sang Christmas carols to Mark. You have the words within you to comfort him and see him through this time when he cannot communicate to you with words. Know that he hears you and draws strength and reassurance from your presence.

Hear our words, feel our love, allow us to share in bearing this burden.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Georgia said...

Oh Honey.

I can't keep from crying all day yesterday and today for you and your family. I am, and will continue to pray for you all.

Thank you for the update. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to have seen him there in the road like that. Sometimes it is just so unfair that these things happen to the best of people. I don't even know him, but he came from you so I know that he is just an amazing wonderful person.

If ever you need anything just let me know. Your family will not be leaving my thoughts today.

Love to you,


12:46 PM  
Blogger rising to the challenge said...

Darlene. I keep rushing to my computer for your updates. Thank you so much for finding it in you to write. The story of what happened is so harrowing. Driving at high speed is such a wreckless thing. I am terrified in cars and have been a passenger in a number of accidents (though none as severe as this). Mark's amazing strength and courage will stand by him all the way. To drag himself out of the wreckage to safety like that and manage to call you and for you to reach the scene in time to transmit your love and reassurance before he was taken into the ambulance... I am lost for words.
I am not a praying person but I am full of love and admiration and strength and patience that I am spilling out into you now. All of it... to keep you and Mark and your loved ones going...
Me and the many others who are gathering around you here.
We're here for you.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason Blogger won't let me post a comment with my sign in so I'm under "anonymous" but I wanted you to know Darlene that you and your beautiful son will be in my heart and prayers throughout his long road to recovery and healing. When your faith ebbs at moments, do lean on ours here as we all are rooting for Mark, and are blessed and inspired by your love and commitment to your family. I wish I could give you an enormous hug in person. You are in my thoughts and prayers all day.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

The candle that I lit for Mark and you all is still's supposed to burn for about 4 hours, but is still going strong...6 hours now. Must be a sign :)

Sending much love to you all,


12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(Sorry Darlene- just wanted you to know that anonymous post was from me, Alexandra (marvelousmadness)- I forgot to put in my name.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Know that you have touched more people than you imagine. I have never commented before, but I just wanted you to know that even us "anonymous" folks out there are sending love and hope to you in your time of heartache.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Deb R said...

Still sending prayers and good thoughts to Mark and to you and the rest of your family. I'm glad you're telling Mark about how everyone is praying for him. I believe even through the drugs he'll hear you on some level and knowing all that love and positive energy is surrounding him can only be a good thing. Sending much love to you over the distance~~~~~~

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm coming by way of Sheila at September-Song. As the mother of a 29-year-old son, I cannot imagine what you are going through at this moment. Your accounting of things simply tore at my heart. I hope that, in some way, being able to come here and write brings you consolation, and would like to add my prayers to those being said from all the friends you've met...and those like me, whom you haven't. God bless and keep you and your son in His loving care.

1:03 PM  
Blogger ~Bek~ said...

Honey... thank you for letting us all know exactly what is happening.

I find myself waking in the middle of the night thinking of Mark and you and your family... and I say a number of prayers.

I am glad I can come here to get a full idea of the situation.

Mark obviously has your determination to get himself out of that car... and I am sure he will get through this too honey.

And do tell him Dar... tell him of all the people all over the world circling for his recovery, well being and healing... he WILL hear you.

((hugs)) love and prayers

1:06 PM  
Blogger Mary Timme said...

I don't know you Darlene, but I'm praying for your son. I'm also praying for you and his friends! These things at this time of year are sooooo extra horrifying. I'm also telling you there is a world who cares and will hold you--all of you--in the palm of prayer.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Teresa Sheeley said...

Still praying on this end, I will light candles, send vibes, pray, pray, do whatever it takes! My thoughts are with you throughout the day and last night, thinking of you trying to sleep.

Feel this hug for you (((((hug))))))

Love you!!

1:13 PM  
Blogger red sun said...

your strength is amazing, that you were able to write everything in such detail. release this, and let us bear the burden of this memory. i'm here, hurting for you, and trying to evoke peace for you.

oh darlene, i wish we lived closer. i would take care of you, as you are in need of this too. please use our words to find comfort or strength.

still praying... Erina

1:18 PM  
Blogger angela said...

Constantly thinking of you and your family and praying.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Lisa(oceandreamer) said...

Dearest Darlene the comfort and healing circle has closed in around you - feel it loving you, holding you up and fighting hard for Mark. His strength is showing and this great strength will help him fight through this. I send you and him love and continued healing power as hard as I can.

1:27 PM  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

Praying for healing and courage.
What courage he had to pull himself across the canal, and the wisdom to call you!
God have mercy!
Darlene, your prayer as you sang to him, what a beautiful gift to give him, his heart moved, I cried reading those words of yours.
Sing sweetheart soft and slowly...peace I will pray for you..

1:38 PM  
Blogger JanePoe said...

Sweet Darlene,
Thank you for reaching out in your fear and pain & keeping everyone up-to-date on Mark's progress.
I'm glad you're feeling the strength of all the prayers and support that are surrounding you, Mark and the entire family.
Much love, d

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Mary said...

I have been thinking of you adn your family for most of today and yesterday - I will say more prayers on my way home from work.
Try and remain strong, difficult as it is right now.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous meg said...

Darlene, I know that we are strangers but that does not matter. There is power in prayer and strength in numbers, and I just wanted to let you know that I have been & will continue to pray for you and Mark and the rest of your family. If I could, I would send you a great big hug to go with those prayers!!

2:26 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I saw your sister's blog and started praying last night. My heart goes out to you and your family as I pray with great love and hope...

2:26 PM  
Blogger Karen Travels said...

I am sending you and your family and especially Mark so so so SO much love from Charlotte, NC.

I recently bought a necklace from your sister online. I went on to thank her, then I saw the news on her site, and linked right on over to your site.

I have been thinking of you all nonstop for the past 2 days!


2:49 PM  
Anonymous javacurls said...

I'm so very sorry to hear about your son's accident! I will keep you & your family in my prayers.

3:14 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

i have read your entry aloud to my husband and we are praying and lighting another candle for healing and one for blessings. we are holding vigil for you really. we were supposed to be on a plane to see jon's family but a snowstorm prevented us from leaving. so we will be here, thinking of you all and sending you support and peace and healing.

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am soo thousand of miles away in SEAsia..the first thing I rememberes when I woke up awhile ago was you...

Be strong brave...someone watches over MArk, over you and your prayers today for you...


( simplyux.blogspot)

3:31 PM  
Blogger LiteraryGirl said...

I woke up this morning and had a moment before this feeling hit me, something is wrong with someone, and then I remembered and began praying.

Thank you for the update. I know it is not easy to share what you are going through...There are no words, Darlene. Seeing your son in that words.

Still praying and thinking of all of you constantly.

Peace and hope to you, my friend.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Pink Granite said...

Thank you for taking the time to share more information. We are here holding you and Mark in our thoughts. We are believing in his recovery. Take good care of yourself. Keep telling Mark he can heal. - Lee

3:44 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

i spent a number of months in hospital after an accident. i don't say that with the intent of comparing stories. but i wanted to say that i found comfort and strength in the love and support of my family and friends but also, and more surprisingly to me at the time, in an extended network of people who heard what happened.

the words i needed to hear or read came from unexpected places. so i hope you, Mark and the rest of your lovely family find some of that comfort here, especially once the horror of these last few days calms.

awful stuff happens to wonderful people and a decent, loving community does its best to help heal the pain caused.

Darlene, you have given so much to people you have never met. i hope, in some small way, we can repay that debt.

thank you to bronxbt for his wise words also.

positive wishes from the other side of the ocean.


3:47 PM  
Anonymous Loretta said...

I cannot, cannot imagine what you are going through with this horrible, horrible event. May the Lord continue to be with your son and your family. Continuing to pray and to send thought of healing white light. My heart goes out to you - my son is 20 and driving home from college right now.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Granny K said...

Praying for you and Mark to recover from this nightmare. Have faith, he is young and strong.
May God bless you and heal your son.

Miracles are happening every day.

3:50 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

What a beautiful son you have. And what a clearly strong spirit he has. I will add my thoughts and prayers, for him and for you.

4:05 PM  
Blogger Egan said...

I just discovered your blog today. So sorry to hear about your son. Best of luck with everything Darlene.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Imajackson said...

I came from Literary Girl and as a mother,my prayers are earnest and honest for your son's full physical recovery. One thought that helped me in my worst time of crisis was this:
God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18.
Mark sounds as if he is strong and has a remarkable will to live! I'll keep checking on you each day!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

we are here we are praying for your beautiful boy this is what we all pray we all have the one xmas wish and that is for your family to stay whole and be whoe to work as 1 again and BE.
J and D this time is for you mark and you family his determination is from your Heart sweet he will be okay, I have to believe this I do believe this.
Love and Prayers Shaz

4:17 PM  
Blogger britt said...

many many prayers i'm sending your way sweet one. healing energy for your beloved son.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Brown eyed girl said...

Oh my God, Oh my God....Can't believe you had to see it....the shock and the horror for you guys. I just have to say that the sheer fact Mark crawled as far as he did to save his life and the other guys is A MIRACLE. I have to focus on this to know, he's gonna make it. Anything tangible we can do here in blog world? Does Mark need more blood that we can donate? Oh Darlene I love you, and I just want to come take care of you during this....
love michelle

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Glo said...

Continuing to send positive vibes and prayers your way... You are an amazing strong...and your son is strong too!! He's a fighter and he will pull through!!!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Laini said...

Thank you for the update Darlene -- I can't get Mark's face out of my mind. I've been thinking about you all day and my eyes are filling up with tears as I type this. I send more love and prayers to you and your beautiful family.

5:03 PM  
Blogger alison koh said...

mark and your family will continue to be in my prayers. i know that all of us in blogiland would really love to give you tons of hugs right now, i wish i could. hang in there sister, this will pass. *hugshugshugs*

lotsa love and light to mark and the whole family.

5:05 PM  
Blogger judie said...

Still praying and hoping for your dear son, Darlene, and for your own strength.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

...Today my children and I said prayers for you and your family and son. When I heard the little, somber and sweet "Amens" from them, I felt warm... I am sure the Lord is with you now, during all of this horror. As are my thoughts and love! So many people are sending love and light to you, from all over.
Peace on your heart, dear lady.
Thank you for keeping us posted.


5:22 PM  
Blogger Molly said...

I'm so sorry your family is going through such a hard time.

I'll be thinking about Mark...I do not know him of course, but I'm sure he is a wonderful guy, and I hope that he recovers, and comes back stronger than ever.

I'm also amazed he was able to call you after the accident...I can't imagine a more horrible call, but I am sure that you were glad to be there with him.

5:35 PM  
Blogger AnnieElf said...

Dear Darlene, I am joining hands with all the world in prayer for your son's returned to health and strength. I also pray for the strength that you and your family will need to help get him through this terrible time. God bless him and God be with you. Annie

5:56 PM  
Blogger Jenni said...

I come here by way of Amber/Believing don't know me but I want you to know you, your son, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless you and yours.


5:57 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I read about what happened to Mark on Denise's blog. I am so sorry. The pain of our children is the worst pain to bear. Your son is in my prayers.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Blue the Spa Girl said...

Sending love and healing thoughts for all of you.
Mark is a fighter by the sound of it, and so are you.
You guys keep up this fight please!!!!

6:29 PM  
Blogger Dotee said...

Sending you much love and support Darlene.

Mark sounds like a very brave young man with a lot of determination. Such a traumatic thing for him (and your family to go through).

Holding you close to my heart.

Dotee xoxo

6:44 PM  
Blogger Jenny Rough said...

Been thinking and praying for you and your son and family all day as you go through this difficult time. God is good. You will get through this.

6:54 PM  
Blogger giggles said...

Dearest Darlene

I went to bed with you and Mark on my mind and I woke up the same. You are in my heart and prayers…..Your poor boy…..I’m angry at the young man who would not heed your boys requests. His family must be devastated too. My child is the same age….to think her fear could fall on deaf ears is extremely scary. I am begging god to heal your son, and take him out of this critical stage. Right now nothing else matters….YOU and your baby….that’s it…..Moms unite with love for you!!! There is a vigil in my heart… .in reading these comments I'm sure many mothers are awakened by that same stirring….of worry for you and Mark. The power of strangers connecting through tragedy….and feeling so deeply is truly amazing…there really is so much love out there….I hope this loving energy will embrace you and make a huge difference to Marks recovery. Please be careful driving right now….you are very vulnerable, your son needs his mom.

Hugs and love for healing!

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will continue lighting candles for Mark and saying prayers. I agree that he must have amazing strenth to be able to pull himself out of the car. I am sending love.

Thinking and praying for your family,


7:45 PM  
Blogger dd said...

Darlene, I just can't imagine what your son and the family is going through. Will continue to pray and will post at my blog (hoping that's okay with you)...for more prayers.

One with God is a majority... With all these prayers going out all over, look at the majority that's going on, all directed for healing and wholeness.

Much love and many blessings to your family.


8:20 PM  
Blogger a m y said...

Just thought you should know that the church I grew up in, where my mom still works, is praying for you and your family. You're on our prayer chain, and will be mentioned in service on Sunday. My mom is praying extra hard for you...she said to send her love.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

(((((Mark,Darlene,Jay,Angela,family))))) YOU all are in my prayers, I am so GLAD everyone is praying! I wish I could be there in California just to help in any way, but my spirit is there with YOU Darlene and I will keep praying! LOVE and prayers, we will be out here for YOU! I hope you know how much everyone loves you Darlene! Try and get some rest, you need your strength and give Mark a big kiss for me! xoxoxooox,Cinda

8:56 PM  
Blogger swirlyange said...

I've been thinking of your beautiful family all day.......sending you much love. xo

9:15 PM  
Blogger deirdre said...

Hi Sweetie, just got home and read your update as soon as I could. I hope you're remembering to rest and eat and to take good deep breaths. I've been pausing in my day for moments of thought, holding you in my heart.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Nessie Noodle said...

Stay strong, the blogville crew is praying for your family. He sounds like an amazingly strong person.
prayers, peace, faith, love....

9:28 PM  
Blogger amy said...

You don't know me, but I am praying for your son Mark. I am also praying for you and your family during this time. What a blessing that you had those comforting arms to fall into. I will pray for peace. Peace of heart, peace of mind, and peace for Mark's body to heal.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

::deep breath::

I'm speechless and so sad...praying for you and your family.

much love

10:08 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

You are such an inspiration as a mother as you witnessed this helplessly. You are there for him and he will make it from strength and love. Look at how amazing his will is.

This is the season of blessings!


8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Darlene ~

There is a wonderful (true) story in "The Healer Within" by Roger Jahnke about a young woman who was in a severe car accident. She had extreme organ damage and needed major surgery but was in too critical condition for them to operate. She remembers spending the night watching the breathing machine and realizing how little breath she had to move the pump. Her goal was to be quiet, calm, and slowly increase her breathing ability through the night. In the morning the surgeons were astounded that her internal organs had healed enough over night that she no longer required surgery.

This is a wonderful book with simple healing steps and I would highly recommend it.

The human body is completely new every seven years. The liver recreates itself every seven days. Mark will be well and strong again!

Sending love, joy and healing prayers from Canada.


11:12 AM  

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