Tuesday, September 25, 2007

this new path














let's just say that the results from my latest test were not good. i have a new path to travel and i am in the process of accepting it. i actually feel some relief, rather than discouragement and both J and i came out of this with a different attitude about how we are living (or, not living) our lives. we have been stuck in a rut, waiting for some really big shoe to drop and that is no way to live. i especially feel like i want to do so much more with any energy i have, do things i have always wanted to do and spend time getting closer to the people i hold most dear to my heart.

if someone were to ask me a question like, "Darlene, you have lived for 46 years on this Earth, what advice would you give to the world?" i think my answer would be...always stay close to your God, plan wisely, but don't wait too long and never take your body for granted...it's the only one you get. I have many plans, dreams and desires to fulfill, i want to be a busy girl doing all of those things. i am going to open my online shop, even if i have only one design to offer. i am going to explore even more healthy ways of eating. i am going to visit with my family more often. i am going to spontaneously do things with my girlfriends and i am going to become a more aggressive child in this big Universe of ours. i was always the squeaky wheel in my youth...where did that girl go? i liked her so much more than who i am today.

poor health has robbed me of my spunk and sparkle. i feel like it doused me with a waterfall and i have taken a long time to recover from it. my light used to burn so brightly and i abused it. i need to take my years of learning and use Wisdom as my guide. i need to Listen to my body, but Silence the Fear that it sometimes gives me. i need to say 'i love you' more often, but also receive when i am being loved in return.

"ignoring life never makes you feel better, it only exaggerates the lonely isolation that it causes."

I said that quote, Me, Myself and I.

17 Comments:

Blogger dreamergirl said...

I think this new path is a beautiful and exciting one. It made me think about another post i´ve read by dancing mermaid. A few words on joy:

http://dancingmermaid.com/blog/2007/09/24/all-about-the-joy/

My day today could have been made up out of routine, instead i met up with a friend, had good conversation and japanse for lunch. I never eat japanese before, and i never had lunch in a restaurant on a tuesday before work. It made my day!

xoxox

1:21 PM  
Blogger brittany said...

I think your light still burns brightly! I can't imagine what it was like before; perhaps blinding;)

3:04 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

Darlene, I'm so sorry that the test results were not good. I hope there is a clear path for your treatment so that you can focus your energies where you have to.

Your positive, strong-willed words are full of forceful positivity. And wisdom. Lots of wisdom. I believe in you.
Vx

3:16 PM  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

i hear you
i embrace you
i believe in you
i resonate with you
i honor you
i support you
i love you.

love,
sis

8:51 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

Im thinking of you Honey xx

2:21 AM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Sending you love...
XOXOXO

3:17 AM  
Blogger JustMe said...

I missed you and worried about you while you were absent from blogland. I'm reminded of how Paul was so discouraged when he was thrown into prison as he was on his way for what he felt was one of his most important missions...while there, he wrote many of the letters that, through the ages, have ended up bringing more people to Christ than he ever could have accomplished on his trip. He never understood during his lifetime how God was using his misfortunes to do things beyond his wildest imaginings. I believe the people who wrestle most with God are the ones who are closest to him, who are passionate to understand and willing to struggle for that relationship. You, Darlene, are special and, in my opinion, a woman after God's own heart. I'll be praying you will feel God's presence and love and know the peace that surpasses all understanding. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!"

8:47 AM  
Blogger daisies said...

sending you love ... your voice sounds strong here and that is beautiful ... xox

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Cindie said...

Just think of the poen by Robert Frost ... The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

You have taken the more difficult path due to your illness, but just think of how many lives you have been and will continue to bless upon the path.

Your strength is in the Lord and it shines through.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Brian said...

(((Darlene))))

Yes to the path. It's no use waiting, nothing will ever happen that way. Do what you can, do what you dream and let the rest go. Become focused on the good because the bad will always be there. Accept the bad but don't let it run your life. Become Darlene again and choose your path.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Wanda said...

Darlene: Can I walk this new path with you? I've been longing to do our girl things again. How deeply I love you. "This weekend" YES!
Wanda Mom

1:55 PM  
Blogger Gena said...

Hello Darlene, I havent visited for a while, but I am so sad that after all you have been through with your son, that you are so poorly, my thoughts and prayers are for you and your family, I hope everything gets better real soon,much love,Gena xxx

11:08 PM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Go for it.

Darlene will only be here once, so go through this life with all of the gusto you can muster.

Your next go around will be totally different, so don't worry about it.

Know that you are not alone. If you need anymore evidence than the number of comments this blog generates, just look around you.

I wish you more harmony in your life.

In the meantime, continue to...
serve others, care about those you serve and share the love in your heart. You have it there in abundance.

2:41 AM  
Blogger blisswarrior said...

bless you, you sweet soul

11:58 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

You have so much spunk and sparkle and light, and I'm grateful I found your blog so I can enjoy it!

2:17 PM  
Blogger Michelle O'Neil said...

You still seem spunky and sparkly to me!

Congrats on your speaking engagement. You will rock the house!

4:36 PM  
Anonymous Tiffany said...

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3:09 AM  

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