Thursday, August 30, 2007

devouring books


my body feels like a trap
this shell that I wear
that can't seem to keep up
with my mind and heart
that reside deep inside
they hide

I dream of an escape
like the worm from it's cocoon
and the snake shedding skin
newborn chicks breaking shells
and the butterfly is free
that's me

by darlene simmonds

I have been very sick and doing everything in my power not to worry. That alone feels like a job to me. Avoidance isn't healthy, so I'm aware of the fine line between pretending everything is okay when it's not and remaining positive.

I have been going through some tests and have a few more to go. One test will require that I am under anesthesia, so that doesn't float my boat, but the cause is a good one. I have no news yet, just been living with the "sick" feeling, recording pain numbers and trying to keep a real smile on my face.

Today is my wedding anniversary and I'm in love with this husband of I have a lot to smile about. I love you J :) No one takes care of me like you :)

I have been devouring some books...and I do mean devouring. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, gleaning wisdom and hope from people much wiser than myself. People that have been in horrendous circumstances, yet have been able to find that peace in the center of the storm. I admire that quality and appreciate that they have put their experiences in small packages, so I can purchase and own them.

I have read this book for my sister. I've done a lot of crying and feel like I understand her journey a little better. We have compared some notes and both "highlighted" the same passages. I just know this was her guiding me while I was reading, so that she could show me what was important to her. She is one of my hero's.

This book shares insights on how to focus on what you do have, instead of what you do not. As soon as I saw the title, I could envision my own storm and how I lean into the wind to get a foothold and keep my balance. If you give into it's weight, you get blown away. Leaning forward is the only way to stay on your feet.

If you like one sentence quotes that are pack full of wisdom, this book is for you. It has a very 'why wait' attitude that I find brave and charming. If you actually saw my books, your mouths would probably drop open. I mark them up like crazy because I visualize them being passed on to people I love and I want them to know what these statements mean to me. When I'm done with a book, it resembles a Rainbow because anyone who knows me also knows...I LOVE pens!

This book is my lite reading, comic's just simply adorable and the proceeds go to a good cause.

Imagine a Woman is yummy...a book I would buy for a loved one and know that it would be a blessing to her. Men, buy this for your ladies and girls, buy this for your bff's, it's a winner. Short reading subjects that are deep and thought provoking.

This book is so chock full of truths, I will read it more than once. My husband and I read the short chapters out loud and then discuss them. The author is credible and has been given amazing wisdom from actual experiences. My hubby is easily bored and for him to want to read this and then discuss it??? What a great find. If you do end up reading this...please email me...we would become fast friends! :)

And last, but not least, the current bible study I am working on. I want to be Beth Moore and Beth wants to be like Jesus, so...... This will be the 5th study I have done of hers and she makes the bible come alive with sense. Her brain just gets it and then I finally get it. When all the other bible studies start to feel ordinary, get one of hers. I am a fan for life.

So, this is what has been keeping me sane through it all. Nuggets that I can't keep to myself and I hope you are able to see something here that peeks your interest. I'm still in the valley, still in quite a bit of pain and very weak, but my mind is being kept busy and I am smiling. Thank you for your love and care ~*~ Darlene


Blogger Star said...

A beautiful poem, D. Thanks for sharing your recent reading list. I love the Life is Good shirts, such a positive thing in a sometimes negative world.

Continuing to send healing thoughts your way.

2:07 PM  
Blogger dreamergirl said...

I'm glad to hear from you :) I will continue to pray for you and your in my thoughts. I've been wearing your necklace a lot, to feel even more connected to you. Hope it works ;)

I have 'Imagine a woman' too. I've only read some passages, but I know that I will grow into loving ever single chapter.

I'm sending some sparkles your way, and of course a lot of love. 'Cause I am loving you from this corner of the planet :)

xox Silvia

2:08 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

glad that you are feeling a little bit better and hoping that you gain strength soon, dear D.
do let us know how your tests go. i've got my fingers crossed and my good vibes ready to shoot :)
keep on reading too...

2:52 PM  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

*tearing up*

i love you, sister...and you are and always will be a hero to me.

make plenty of rainbows in your books with your gorgeous pens. ; )

thank you for reading Fertile Female. for taking that time to dive into my heart and to know more intimately what Carsten and i face every day. this means more to me (to us) than i can express in words.

you fill my cup.

i love you.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Wanda said...

Dar I have been out of town, with the family in Sugar Pine, and now with Michel's family in Tahoe..Didn't know you had taken this turn to "sick". I'm so very sorry...will call you when I can get to a phone.

4:05 PM  
Blogger Mary Timme said...

What a great reading list. I think I'll order a couple of them and read as soon as I can. Beth Moore is one of my favs for Bible study, as I think her over the top delivery and sold out on Jesus is just too much fun for words. Oh, I have to get that!

4:34 PM  
Blogger Deb R said...

Happy Anniversary to you and your love.

Sending good thoughts your way~~~~~~

8:17 PM  
Blogger Constance said...

I LOVE the way Beth opens up the Word of God and makes it come alive to my poor brain! Our church is starting that same study this Fall and I am pumped! I just saw where the sign-ups have started for her San Antonio Conference, in 2008! I am pumped about that too! Do you have the link for her blog? If not, I'll include the copy & paste link! Praying for you today in Texas!

4:44 AM  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

D~ my heart breaks that you have been in this pain and going through the doctors and the tests and everything....I am sending healing and warmth to you.

Wonderful list of books...


11:01 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Glad to learn you are getting some solace from your readings. I hesitate to suggest reading this because it may seem self-serving. There may be a nugget or two in there for you. Or not.

May peace and love continue to be with you and J. Happy anniversary.

12:41 PM  
Blogger cherry girl said...

Hey Darlene, sorry that you are feeling so sick, I hope all your tests go well and that you are pain free again soon so you can have more adventures that we can eavesdrop on. Mmm, books, a great way to try and lose yourself for a while.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Happy Anniversary! Mine is on sunday =) Feel better soon!

6:40 PM  
Anonymous gerry rosser said...

I wonder at your strength. I am in awe of it.

5:10 AM  
Anonymous mandy said...

i just found your blog... i love your writing... so fresh and genuine.
i pray for your health today.

7:49 PM  
Anonymous poet said...

still here and reading you. take good care, darlene. i send up a silent prayer for you. hugz

11:57 PM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

Wow! You really are devouring books! What a great list.

I'm praying for you, my love.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Get well soon Darlene :o)

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Teresa S. said...

I am sorry to hear about the pain you are in. It was nice to visit you again and catch up on a walk in your shoes! Some of those books look like really great reads, thanks for sharing them.


9:20 PM  
Blogger Schmoops said...

sending you healing thoughts.

mmmmm, those books all look devourable. glad you are nourishing yourself. xoxo

5:03 PM  
Blogger Jenny Rough said...

I will have to check out some of those books...

The line between pretending things are okay and being positive-such a hard one to find! Prayers to you.

5:50 PM  
Anonymous Cindie said...

I hope that you are feeling better. I miss reading your thoughts. I am going to get a couple of the books you suggested.

I have also done a couple of Beth Moore Studies... I just finished facilitating the Daniel Study. It was amazing.

Sending thoughts and prayers your way :)

5:45 AM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Just catching up and so sad to hear that you're going through another difficult period ... I'm so glad you have a wonderful partner to walk by your side in comfort and love. Happy anniversary (a few days late) to you and J. xx, JP/deb

6:17 AM  
Blogger Boho Girl said...

just dropped by to let you know that i love you so much, sis...and that i will be with you in spirit tomorrow, holding your hand.

warm neck nuzzles and long hugs.


1:06 AM  
Anonymous Claire NZ said...

Hope you are healing well and beginning to see some light at the end of your struggles. Rest easy - well, as easy as you can. I'm sure it must be frustrating.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Hi Darlene~

Oh baby I am so sorry you are feeling badly.

I am sending you love and kisses on the wind. That you may feel strong and energized soon.

Hugs and love

2:56 AM  
Blogger cherry girl said...

That is a beautiful poem, sorry to hear that you have been so sick after being well for a while. Good luck with your tests.
Hope you had a good wedding anniversary and thanks for those book recommendations :) Bright blessings to you.

5:33 AM  

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