Sunday, June 24, 2007

the game of hard knocks

This is Patrisha, our adopted grand daughter, the child of a long ago 6th grade student that has always stayed in touch. Now he is a man, a husband and a father, it was just natural that his daughter become a significant part of our family.

I have spent the better part of these last four days holding her and wiping away her tears. Her mother was very young when she had our little pookie and now she has decided to wildly pursue life, leaving motherhood, 3 children and her husband behind. Patrisha has been shuffled from one home to the next and is currently living in an apartment, with no furniture but a bed. I can't even imagine the rejection she is feeling. My own mother loved me always, no matter what and I am who I am because of her. The pain in Patrisha's eyes cut me to the core.

We did many things while she was here, but one of her favorite board games has always been the game of "Life"...we had our own rules and it was always fun to fill our little plastic cars with pink or blue children, change our careers from janitors to doctors, to movie stars and buy the houses of our dreams. We would giggle when our husbands and children fell out of our cars as we moved around the board, but the thing that has always been a staple was the happy endings. This time, I saw tears well up in her eyes each time a baby was born, or one would accidentally fall out of the little plastic car.

She is only 10
and already understands that "Life" doesn't always end up in a great big house with a car full of children and a mommy that stays in the drivers seat.


Blogger PixieDust said...

It's hard to believe that something good can come of her pain. Hard to have faith in "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger", because neglect does puncture our souls, and lets in a darkness that can smother.

However, having her father, having you and your loving family to hold her is a candle by which prayers are answered. The prayer of tears, laughter, and coming through the other side of childhood with love and hope.

Bless you for all the strength, and support you shower upon those who cross your path. The world can only prosper from your presence and caring.

12:04 PM  
Blogger dreamergirl said...

I just want to hop on the next plane to give her a hug. I understand those tears, i've cried them too.

I want to give her some advise, but i can't think of anything. It's weird, but true.

Pixiedust is right...bless you for all the strength and support you shower upon those who cross your path.

Sending bunches of hugs and love your way,

xoxo Sil

12:53 PM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

You are both blessed to have each other.

Give her lots of hugs and good, loving energy from me.

There are other people in the world who will love her as she deserves.

5:38 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

OMG I am so saddened by this post but rejoiced that she has you to hold her close to draw from your love and strength. God bless you and that baby girl. XXX

3:38 AM  
Anonymous gerry rosser said...

She's lucky to have you.

6:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are both blessed to have each other. Give her an extra hug for me!

8:08 AM  
Blogger Jenny Rough said...

Hard lessons to learn as such a young age.

8:14 AM  
Blogger daisies said...

please give her a hug from me ... xox

12:33 PM  
Blogger BJ said...

I am so saddened to hear this. It seems that the children are always the ones who suffer the most. You are a very special person and give so lovingly of yourself. It is so good that she has you. I pray for the father and the other siblings as this is such a very hard thing. I loathe rejection in any way, shape or form. She must be feeling that too. The mother needs our prayers too, but she is an adult who makes these choices. I have a very soft heart for this little girl.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Louise said...

She is SO blessed to have you in her life!!
I can't imagine the pain she must be going through...bless you for showing her love and kindness!!! Give her a big hug for me!!!

2:55 PM  
Blogger Mary Timme said...

Oh Rats! How can a Mom leave 3 children? It is inconceivable to me, no matter how many times I see it or hear of it. Poor wee child! How very sad for her, and traumatic. I hope life hands her better before long and thank heavens she can spend time with you. You must be a haven for her right now!

3:10 PM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

Oh this just cuts my heart to the CORE. I wish I could be there to help lavish love on her along with you! I'm so glad God put you in her life.

She and her little family will be in my prayers.

God, bless Darlene in her efforts. Bless Patrishia's little family. We know You have a plan for her. Just give Patrisha that knowledge - that You have her in Your hands and she will shine in Your care. Amen.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Wanda said...

Darlene...what a wonderful grandmother you are.
I'm so sad for her pain in life, but so happy she has you...what a joy you bring to her and back to you!
Love and Hugs
Wanda Mom

5:04 PM  
Blogger amy said...

What a blessing to have someone so special in your life, and she is blessed tø have you! I don't know if I ever played "Life" by the printed up rules. Now that I am a grown up I still don't.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to this little angel who has had to endure way too much heartache at such a young age. I'm glad she had a few days with her wonderful adopted grandma. xx, JP

11:10 PM  
Blogger ~Bek~ said...

I am not sure what blogger did with the comment I posted yesterday. Blogger sucks at times!!

I love how you wrote ""Life" doesn't always end up ... mommy that stays in the drivers seat."

As you know I had a similar experience, but I always had angels disguised as humans to help me on my journey.

Just as you are doing for Patrisha... she will never be without love or support and she will be a strong person with a beautiful life. For she is beautiful, and clearly wise at such a tender age... life is only going to get better and better for her as she matures into a lovely lady... and one day become that great mother she always dreamed of.

Bless you Dar and big hugs to Patrisha.

3:11 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

She is so lucky to have you. Really, really lucky to have people who try to step in and who give her love. These things will help her to live this journey. Believe me. I know. And I know that the wound of a mother leaving you when you are a little girl...well. It never really goes away. Even when she comes back years later, and tells you her "reasons". No reason makes it better. Sometimes it makes you strong, but it also becomes a part of you that always feels tender. I feel for your little friend. It is a club I wish no child ever had to join! As that child, and as a mother now, it make me SO MAD.
But whatever love you give her blesses her!


6:54 PM  
Blogger carole said...

She is a beautiful young lady and both of you are so fortunate to have one another. Ain't life cool!!!
Much happiness will be there for both og you : )

7:00 PM  

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