Saturday, January 27, 2007

A Story Book Quilt ~*~ About our Love

(Update on Mark)




































This was sent to me from a fellow bloggette. We will fondly refer and remember her as "Pink Sky" until she resurfaces as someone else. Currently, she is taking a "Blog Break" as many of us do.

She made this from her loving hands and it holds a story. (Cleaver little bunny ;-)

A Story Book Quilt:

1. Think of this quilt as a warm hug from me. It is what I am able to give you from miles away. I am with you.

2. A feather for hope and for wishes of wellness.

3. For all of the bloggers united around the world for you and Mark.

4. Sending you all the love I can.

5. Because I am your cheerleader, "Give me an M!"

6. Remember to nourish yourself, drink more tea and relax.

7. Because he will always be your baby.

8. "A Walk in My Shoes" for you, my dear soul.

9. For your knight in shinning armor....your hubby.

10. For sister's, our own brand of magic!

11. For that sweet doggie that's waiting for his master. (Breezy)

12. Sending reinforcements for any flight or journey.

13. Hope for the sunny days a head.

14. I am here if you need me.

15. For the everyday hero's that worked to save Mark's life.

16. Wishes for peaceful nights of sleep.

17. For Friendship!

How adorable is that?! We have the most creative bloggie world ever! So glad to be a part of it :^)

Update on Mark: Mark went to the doctors yesterday and it took 4 hours. A blood draw, resizing his back brace and general look over. He was beat by the time he got home. So he is sleeping off this much needed rest. I think he has gained a few pounds and each day is a teensy bit better. Let's just say...the journey to wellness has begun :) Again, A "Thank You" to all of my bloggie family. What a wonderful world we have. We are blessed.

Saturday Morning update: Mark is angry today. He is sick and tired of having to call me for help. I don't blame him, because I understand the uselessness I feel when I need someone to help me with such menial tasks. Stumbling his way from the bathroom, I told him he needed to wait for me to at least get up from the couch. He snapped at me, I guess I didn't expect that to happen so soon. I got him settled in bed and I apologized to him, he closed his eyes and when they opened back up, he had tears and said, "It's not you Mom!"
"I know...I know it's not me. I know this sucks, but your going to have to be patient with your body." I layed my head down on his knee and wept. He just stared at me, silent...looking at me like he wasn't ready for me to cry about this yet. I felt silly... stupid for crying in front of him right then. I wiped my tears and asked him if there was anything I could get for him. We both knew that this was the ice-breaker question I needed to say, so that I could leave him alone. And now I'm here on the couch. Typing these words to you and trying to cry as silently as I can.

I forget he is 'Mark, the man' he is not a little boy anymore even though he needs me to be his Mother, he doesn't need to be treated like he is a child. I need to find the balance between the Mother and the Friend.

All I know right now is... that I don't feel good either and it's very hard to be a friend, a mom and have lupus too.

45 Comments:

Blogger dd/sandy said...

I am so glad to read that M has gained some weight and the journey to wellness is well underway. I've been concerned about you though also. Hoping the lupus flare passed quickly.

That quilt is wonderful, what a special gift.

Hugs to you and the family and prayers continue...

sandy/dd

11:51 AM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

What a meaningful quilt stitched with love!!

Wonderful news on Mark's small, but profound steps of progress.

Smiling, JP

12:02 PM  
Blogger Chulita said...

It's so good to hear that Mark is progressing on his healing, even if it's tiny steps at a time--hey, we'll taking anything at this point, right?

Thanks for sharing the beautiful quilt story. Wrap it around Mark so it can work it's intended magic on him and speed up his healing. Sending you love and positive energy--and I hope you are feeling stronger.XOXO

12:37 PM  
Blogger turquoise cro said...

That quilt is the SWEETEST thing I've seen today! besides the wonderful news my little angel made it thru surgery yesterday and now has HEALING to do too!(Alyssa is her name and please include her in your prayers Bloggettes!) I miss YOU PINK SKY!!!!(so thoughtful and sweet) and I am so GLAD to hear Mark is making progress!!! Yayyyy Mark!!! Is Boho gal there yet??? Give each other smooches for me! Darlene!and a BIG smooch for Mark! LOVE and HEALING prayers, xoxooxox Cinda my word verification is xphbthug so here is a hug too!((((((Mark&family)))))

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

What a wonderful gift. Both the quilt as the journey to wellnnes!

Sending you all lots of love and hugs.

xo Sophie

1:14 PM  
Blogger BJ said...

What a lovely gift! So happy to hear that Mark is on the road to recovery. Each tiny step is progress. Much love to you and your entire family and big HUGS to Mark. The blog world surrounds him in love! God bless.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous meg said...

What a beautiful and thoughtful gift.

It must be wonderful to see your son fattening up. :) Surely it's due in part to the excellent care he's been receiving at home. Please try to take care of yourself, too - I hope you're feeling better!

1:41 PM  
Blogger Footpad said...

I know it's hard to find the balance, especially with your own things going on.

Hang in there; it'll come. Have faith!

-- f

2:10 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

He's making progress, and that's a wonderful thing! He needs to be able to vent his frustrations...and so do you, Mom. :P So, have you thought about having others come in at various times to give you both a break? Moms have wide shoulders but they need help too, and often the hardest thing for a Mom to do is to admit she's human, is sick, and needs to let others help too. It also makes those other family members and friends feel like they are sharing in Mark's recovery. :P (LOL I ask NOT that you agree with it, ONLY that you think about it. LOL) What a lovely, thoughtful thing for the person who made and sent the quilt to do! Wrap up in it when you're alone and have a good cry. :P

2:28 PM  
Blogger Candy said...

I don't see how this could be easy for either of you. Not a thing about it is natural. He's not meant to be injured and you're not meant to be ill and on and on. My prayer for you is that God's kingdom will come and HIS will be done here on earth as it is in heaven. I know in heaven it isn't anything like your reality here. I feel sure God will take what was meant for evil and make it good - in His way, and in His time. btw - Great news about mark's progress. Those are prayers answered - every ounce of weight and every teensy bit he is better each day.

2:58 PM  
Blogger gracie said...

The mother-son dance can be tricky! Stepping in, stepping back, getting it right, getting it wrong, stepping on toes, laughing into each others eyes... All the more complicated when both are ill. Keep dancing.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

An amazing gift--wishing you and Mark well...I'm sorry to hear of the ragged moments, they will pass. Hang in there, thinking of you!
Love,
D.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Annie said...

Dearest, dearest Darlene,

It's so important right now, to let those tears flow. It really is OK to not feel like a cheerleader, to resent the Lupus, even be angry at the situation you are in.

I so wish that I could give you a big hug (provided that it didn't hurt you - my Lupus can manifest itself in that I cannot bear being touched) in person.

Still sending up prayers for you and your family. Still sending you good, healing and peaceful thoughts.

Matthew and Gracie say hello too.

With love from down under

PS loved the wee quilt. Such a specialy gift.

4:02 PM  
Blogger turquoise cro said...

O Darlene! I feel so sorry for YOU and Mark! I thought I would check in here again and you are now crying on the couch! Hold on til' that sweet Boho gal gets there! I'll be saying some extra super-duper prayers for that nasty Lupus to just go away!!!! You have enough to deal with, know I'm thinking of YOU!!! ((((((Darlene))))) (((((Mark))))) xxooxox

4:40 PM  
Blogger Sheila said...

The physical problems are evident, the emotional ones are harder to see, but are there none the less.
Balance is the answer, it will come but it won't happen easily.
Cry if you need to, holding it in never helps, let it go. Nobody expects you to be all things...
Sending you love and light,

4:42 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

oh my Pink Sky!!! what a gorgeous quilt. cannot wait to see it in person.

speaking of...boy do you guys need me sis! while i am there, i want you to rest and i will answer Mark's calls for help and i will be very mindful of treating him like a man, which won't be hard...because i always have since he is my nephew and not too far in age.

you no worry you!

just a few more days...

love you, love Mark...

xoxo

6:09 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

What a beautiful gift.....

Allow the tears to flow freely....do not feel guilty for tears are a sign of love.

The balance will come ~ yes, there are times you will both fumble through the mother ~ son dance....but there will be many times it will flow smoothly.

Sending you all loved filled thoughts and prayers.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Star said...

The quilt story is a precious gift, indeed. Draw it close to you and draw on the love it holds in each stitch.

I'm sure this will be a time of give and take among all of you as you struggle to find the right balance in your relationships once more.

Praying for continued small steps as the miracle that is Mark continues to heal.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Bless you as you find that balance. It's a new layer of relationship you and Mark are building, and there will be growing pains as you sort it out. But there will also be moments of unprecidented connection and gratitude, and amazement over all God is doing. Those will be the things you remember.

Hold on, pray, believe, and ask for BIG miracles. And keep on blogging, because it keeps some amazing love circulating through the blogsphere.
Much love to you!
Trish

7:09 PM  
Blogger Regina Clare Jane said...

I am so glad that Mark is recovering slowly but surely but I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for him... all you can do is give each other support and space when you need to... all the rest will follow.
Love to you, Darlene...

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Lovely said...

My Sweet Darlene: I will try once again to post a comment. We had an upgrade on the computer and I hope this will finally be successfull. I was so soory to hear that you had been so sick, and Mark feeling so angry. Thses are such hard times, but you and Mark inspire us every day. Please feel my love and hugs.
Lovely

10:15 PM  
Blogger luzie said...

What a beautiful quilt that is. Thanks for sharing the story with us. I'm glad to hear that Mark is continuing to heal, and I will keep him in my thoughts. I will also keep YOU in my thoughts, Darlene, sending you even more strength and good vibes for your health.

hugs xoxo
luzie

1:49 AM  
Anonymous poet said...

always reading and sending hugs your way. poet...

2:18 AM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

You're doing a wonderful job of seeking the balance, Darlene. And so is Mark. You will probably find it long before you realise you have -and it may be that you have found it already but just happen to be human -and recognise your faults- too.
I am delighted to hear that Mark is getting some strength back.
His and your anger is a product of your fighting spirit and your will to improve. The same spirit will have him flourishing in no time, you'll see.
Sending you and him lots of healing wishes and strength.
Vanessa

2:43 AM  
Anonymous kristen said...

Finding that balance must be so incredibly difficult, especially when you aren't feeling so well yourself.
He lashes out at you because he can. He feels safe with you and knows that even with his short answers, you love him and are there for him.

I think the hardest thing EVER about being a mama is knowing how and when to let them be. You are such a good mama and such an inspiration to me.

4:37 AM  
Blogger gerry rosser said...

I've wondered through this ordeal why some are so burdened. I guess that's pretty much unanswerable.
I'm so glad Mark is able to make inches of progress, I'm sure it'll be feet soon, then yards, then miles.

5:37 AM  
Anonymous suzie q said...

Such beautiful sentiments sent with the story quilt, what a special gift that is, Darlene...thank you for sharing the pieces and their story with us :)

My heart breaks for you as you go through all these emotions, sweetheart. Keep letting them out...

You & Mark obviously have so much Love for each other. You will get through this, Darlene, and so will Mark. Smiling :)

Don't forget to breathe....

Love to you all, and gentle hugs,
Suze xXx

5:40 AM  
Blogger gerry rosser said...

I've been checking in on the other bloggers who voice support here. I think it's great that so many people are kind. I've even made a folder to bookmark all the ones I visit (and I certainly haven't been scientifically assiduous).
Some are private, like BJ, so if possible maybe she could give me permission to visit, I'm a grandfather (she announces her grandmotherhood), and have great references (like you, Darlene).

5:58 AM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

Thank you God for Mark's healing! Follow your heart - that perfect balance you're looking for - does it exist? You'll hit it sometimes and won't at others. Loving moms can drag us kids through anything. You're an awesome mom. And an awesome person. I'll pray that God give you wisdom and grace. We love you.

6:31 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

That quilt is a wonderful gift! Hoping both you and Mark have a better day today. Sending good thoughts your way~~~~~~

10:27 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

What a beautiful quilt story. There is so much energy in that quilt that it will sustain you in times of darkened spirits.

I have a sneaking feeling that Mark may appreciate being mothered more than either of you know or are willing to admit.

There is nothing shameful about caring so much for another person that you will cry in front of them. Crying together can be cathartic too.

I wish you both a speedy recovery.

I have two heroes, nay at least four, you, Mark, Jay and Angela. Much love and energy to you all.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Alexandra S said...

You all are trying to learn how to navigate your way through very new waters. I have the utmost respect for all of you Darlene. I hope that your lupus flares subside with each new day and that each of you are able to get the love and support you all so abundantly deserve. xo

12:09 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

It's a fact - kids (no matter what their age) will vent their anger and frustrations on their mothers. Why? Because they are smart enough to know that no matter how "mean" they are to their mother she will ALWAYS love them=)

In Mark's situation he can't go outside and scream or physically lash out so you are no doubt going to be on the receiving end of more of his frustrations. It's going to be tough but you are one tough lady, Darlene.

The quilt is amazing, what a special gift.

Love and prayers still coming your way.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Teresa Sheeley said...

What a beautiful quilt! That is just a wonderful heartfelt gift. Hmm, wow that would be hard to remember that your son is a young adult man now, I know that it is hard for me to remember that of my own son. Because to us they are still vulnerable little boys. What lessons we still have to learn as parents. Some fun, some not so fun. But you are a strong woman with lots of guts and determination, you will make your way.

Hope you are feeling better today and Mark too.

Much love! Can't wait to get my necklace, I am so excited!!

Love ya!
xxoo
Teresa

2:42 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

How hard is that balance? You are doing so well with it all mark in bed and luie on your back its a huge burden to carry but you do it with poise love and honesty. Glad for the weight gain. How awesome is Mindy and what a gorgeous Quilt.
Lovein you from a far. xxx

3:26 PM  
Blogger Angela Marie said...

Hey My Love ~
This "story book quilt" is beautiful and patched with lots of love! She put a lot of thought into it. I will have to check it out next time I am over.

NOW! with the necklaces... You are killing me! There are so many I WANT!! Slow down girl.... hmmm, maybe I can be a walking advertisement??

love, love, loving YOU!!

3:31 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Yes, I bet it is hard! It is hard to do anything when we don't feel well. My whole emotional life unravels when I don't feel good! My heart is with you.
I was thinking as I read this, that you might just be the perfect mom for him right now, even though it is hard. BECAUSE it is hard, and you know what it is like to have your body not be what you want it to be all the time. Maybe you are the perfect teacher for him...
Keep your lovely chin up, D.

oxox :)

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Annie M said...

Hey beautiful Lady,

Hope you are feeling a bit stronger today. Be kind to yourself, do what brings comfort to your soul (and body!!)

Matthew asked me to say hello to Mark, so a big "Hello" from my number one son, to your number one son.

Special hugz today, and the prayers go on.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Cape Cod Kitty said...

Darlene,
Pink Sky's quilt is such a beautiful loving gift and I hope you and Mark will hold it close and feel that love.
I love the visual of Mark walking to the bathroom. How amazing!! He is taking those wonderful steps along the path to healing and the tears and anger are a very natural part of that journey. Better to be shed than held in.
Also, I am so sorry that you are feeling so weak and hope that your sister's visit has begun and you have some relief. You have been so strong!
May hugs, peace and continued healing envelop you and buoy you along the path with Mark.
Cape Cod Kitty

3:56 PM  
Blogger dd said...

I so hope things are going better today, emotions are healing and lupus flare is diminishing. Just thinking of you all and wishing there was something I could do to help. Wish I was your neighbor for the next few months...love and hugs.

sandy/dd

5:00 PM  
Blogger amy said...

Lovely gift. Thanks for sharing it. Still praying for you, the lupus, for your husband, for Mark, for a peace that passes all understanding, oh, and for a really good night's sleep.

5:37 PM  
Blogger magicaldamselfly said...

~*~Darlene~*~
I wish that I could wrap my arms around you and hold you until all your tears were spent. I send you healing strength dear one.
I know how hard it is for Mark to feel so needy when he was such a strong and vibrant man but I also know that no matter his age he will always be your baby and when he hurts you hurt. We are going into our 14th year of our journey of healing for my baby brother and it is still hard for him. Mark has God on his side and will heal where as my brother will always be in need and so it breaks my heart to see your Mark going through this, I will continue to pray for him and for you as well sending you both healing strength and much love.

Sheila

6:29 PM  
Blogger Becca said...

This healing process will be a huge journey for both of you. I'm so thankful that you're on it, although I'm sure it has it's challenges!

Sending love and prayers every day :)

7:53 PM  
Blogger Dotee said...

This is such a beautiful quilt Darlene and sewn with so much love.

Am thinking of you and Mark everyday. It is such a hard, hard situation you are in. You are brave and you are beautiful Darlene.

3:10 AM  
Anonymous Paris Parfait said...

The quilt is a lovely, thoughtful gift. And it's great that Mark is continuing to make progress, step by step. Snapping when frustrated is normal - everyone just does the best they can under these circumstances. Sending a big hug and lots of prayers...

4:05 AM  

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