Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Looking My Worst and Happy.

Rain, the barometer dropping and freezing temperatures bring out the worst in me. Most women would not even think about putting pictures up for display like this but.............here I am!

This is what lupus does to my face. I look like a ghost, but I have lipstick on. (it makes me feel better..."Hey, a girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do *wink*) Besides, it helps me to smile and I like to smile when I am taking care of Mark.

This is the worst rash I have ever had during a flare. It eventually ends up all over my face and burns like mad. It doesn't make for a great makeup palette, but that's okay. The lipstick works fine.

But what I really wanted to say today was that life can get pretty hectic, throw you curve balls and catch you off guard, but you must tell yourself to be happy.

There is a story about a man named Job and he was a wise and wealthy man. One by one, he began to loose his possessions and ended up with nothing. Job's secret???

He was joyful and loved his relationships with others. This kind of happiness is a choice. Usually it's the last choice, but a choice, nevertheless. I have found that:

1. I can be in pain and still smile
2. I can dislike having to get up 15 times a day and still smile
3. I smile when I'm nervous.
4. I can dislike what I'm being asked to do, and still smile.

Smiling is fun and contagious and I like to see just how many people in the room begin to smile by me being the instigator

so....smile today, you just may get them back.......count them :)


Blogger angela said...

Dear Darlene and Mark,
I wanted to do this through email but have problems with Outlook Express and if I type in the address OE gives me it doesn't send. Oh the wonders of technology.
Just to let you know that I made a donation to a local charity in Mark's name as a thank you for his recovery. The charity supports directly women and children in Afghanistan. I like it because it's a small affair and the aid goes exactly where it's needed without subsidising salaries and buildings.
I'm sorry that Mark didn't get to choose one but I'm sure he won't mind that it's for women so far away.
Glad to hear he's moving forward on the road to recovery.
PS I'll scan in the paper about the charity when I have a moment.

2:58 AM  
Blogger gena said...

You look lovely Darlene,I am sorry that you are unwell, and you are so brave to keep smiling, I am sure it means everything to Mark,hope you feel better soon.xx

3:51 AM  
Anonymous Paris Parfait said...

Darlene, you are beautiful no matter what! We should all look so good when we are sick and dealing with everything life has thrown at you lately. Stay strong and keep smiling. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL - inside and out!

4:07 AM  
Blogger magicaldamselfly said...

My dear Darlene~
You amaze me with your strength and your smile.
Yes I will smile today as I usually do but I will be putting out some extra Darlene smiles today just for you.
I'll be sending up prayers for your lupus flares and also for Mark.
Have a wonder*filled day.

4:07 AM  
Anonymous Annie Morris said...

Dearest Darlene,

You're gorgeous no matter what!! Sorry to hear that the lupus continues to bite. Actually, considering what you are going through, I think you are TOTALLY SPECTACULAR, both in body and spirit.

Many hugs to your good self, and to your beautiful boy, Jay and Angela

Although it kills me to be so cliched ..... YOU GO GIRL!!!

With much love from Down under.

PS You have to tell us... what are your favourite colours... we only got a few hints in your post the other day... and the kids and I are working on a surprise....

4:30 AM  
Blogger Shaz said...

I am smiling at you and Mark daily through tears joy and hardship, I totally agree with the smiling thing and just ask Bek, I am a sucker for smiling no matter what.
Your beautiful my friend and Dana loves her surprise she was a little hard to console over the phone, she loves you as I do unconditionally and with prayers of hope and Health for you all.

Love You friend xxx

4:49 AM  
Blogger Linda said...

Here I sit, smiling right back at you Darlene!

5:10 AM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Remember Perry Como's song ? **Just let a smile be your umbrella,
On a rainy, rainy day . . .
And if your sweetie cries, just tell her,
That a smile will always pay . . .
Whenever skies are gray,
Don’t you worry or fret,
A smile will bring the sunshine,
And you’ll never get wet!
So, let a smile be your umbrella,
On a rainy, rainy day . . .**
You are beautiful, lupus will never change that.

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

I've already smiled a lot today and I promise I will keep on smiling today. Smiling is indeed fun and healthy to, according to a Dutch saying :)

xoxo Sophie

ps. :D

6:35 AM  
Blogger gerry rosser said...

So today, I've had to abandon sloth and idleness (if doing photography and practicing music are such), and I'm operating the Stamping Station in Mount Dora. My lovelies are in Anaheim looking for more goodies for the store, and taking classes from the makers of those goodies. Spending money like mad, no doubt.

I'll smile at everyone who comes in. I smile at people when I'm on the other end, and it is amazing (or maybe the opposite) how many cannot bring themselves to smile back. I read "Nickled and Dimed", so I quite understand if their weariness steals their cheer.

All good thoughts and hopes for you and Mark.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Candy said...

Extremely good advice. Smiling here. :o)

7:11 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

i dunno. i think you're beautiful.

~ nuff said.


7:20 AM  
Blogger Georgia said...

I will be smiling today too :)

And just so you know, I think you still look beautiful!!!!


The necklaces are fantastic!!! They make me drool just a little... :)

7:29 AM  
Blogger Constance said...

OKAY, I have to share a humorous story even if it makes me look like a total doofus!

I was talking on my cell phone to my best friend back in Missouri, I was also going through a fast food drive-thru for lunch, in between house cleaning jobs. As I approached the window, getting ready to pay and talking on the phone at the same time, I suddenly started laughing hysterically!

My best friend was trying to desperately interrupt my loud, belly laughs to find out what was so dog-gone funny. When I finally could calm myself down I told her what happened.

The reason for my out of control laughter was related to a smile. I was smiling at the lady looking at me at the drive thru window. She was grinning really wide at me. The more I smiled, the bigger her smile grew. Finally, it dawned on me what what happening.

I was seeing my own reflection in the window!!!! There was no one there!!! I was smiling at myself!!!

This story makes my best friend and I laugh hysterically, every time we mention it. In fact, I'm smiling as I type it out on the keyboard!!! The moral of the story: I guess I'm at nature a pretty happy person who smiles all the time and I didn't realize it until than!

7:33 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

Y'know, I remember reading somewhere, years ago, about a research project where one group of people were asked to smile every time they remembered to, even if they didn't feel very happy, while another group was asked to just behave normally and only smile when they would've anyway. At the end of the research period (don't remember how long it was), the group who had smiled every time they thought of it, even when they didn't feel very "smiley" reported more feelings of happiness and calmness and less depression then the "normal" group. The researchers concluded that even with feelings there's some power in the idea of behaving as if what you want to happen has already happened. Thank you for reminding me of that, Darlene!

You look beautiful, even when you feel bad, you truly do, and I hope you feel better soon.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Star said...

Darlene, you have such beauty, inside and out.

Smiling is so beneficial for the giver as well as the receiver. I hope your smiles will encourage Mark to smile as well.

Sending you hugs and smiles!

o :D o :D o :D

8:27 AM  
Blogger Libbys Blog said...

Smile and the world smiles with you!!
It is so difficult to find that happy medium, my daughter has been back from Uni to 'look after me' whilst I recovered from an operation. She has grown up so much in just a few short months.
I should imagine a situation abit like you and Mark, now he is home do I treat him like an adult or a child???? Just take each step an inch at a time, and as hard as it is try not to 'fuss' too much. We are all so good at that!!!

8:36 AM  
Blogger turquoise cro said...

WHOA! I thought I had hibernated thru a day or something! Your post reads Tuesday, January 30th! Days go by too fast as it is Darlene! and doesn't Constance's story make you chuckle??! and Gerry, I've seen those people who won't smile! Phew! They make me smile that much more! Darlene, that rash looks rough! It reminds me of my bouts with shingles! Ug! You, like Job are suffering, your pictures show suffering but they also show us a fighter and a believer in God! I wish I lived closer for you and your sweet family, that's for sure! I HOPE Boho gal is there soon! just so you can get a good nights sleep, it sounds like you aren't getting many zzzZZZZZZZs and that is not good for sure! I'll be smiling today and they are all dedicated to YOU! Keep smiling sweetness!:) ((((((Darlene)))))) ((((((Mark & all the family&friends)))))) LOVE and prayers, Cinda ps. I LOVE lipstick! lol

8:36 AM  
Blogger LiteraryGirl said...

I smile everytime I think of Mark at home with you. I know caring for him is not going to be easy, but what a blessing he is making such progress, and what a miracle!

I love the story of Job. My favorite part, after God lists for pages and pages all that is under his control and makes us realize that we are so small in comparison yet we question so often...Job replies, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted...surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

I think Mark's story is something that is too wonderful for us to know.

8:51 AM  
Blogger Trish Ryan said...

You are a wise, brave woman :) Smile on - you're heaping coals on the head of whatever evil forces would try and bring you down.

Bless you as you persevere - and thank God for lipsick!!!

9:35 AM  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Smiling for YOU. I have been quiet and away from the computer, but please know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers every day. I KNOW the rash...it's been a very long time since it has made it's way to my face, but I remember it only too well...and it is not nice. No matter, you are still lovely and beautiful.

Peace and love to you...xoxoxo

9:53 AM  
Blogger me-nikk said...

YOU make my heart SING!!!

JOB is one of my favorite stories in the bible. I want to do some sort of art based on that story at some point.

Holding you up ever so lightly in my arms for you to feel the rays of sunshine on your face and the kisses from the stars in the sky!

Much love and admiration!


10:18 AM  
Blogger dd said...

Here's smiling at you.

It's this kind of post that I come across in a day that stops me dead in my tracks and makes me think YES...anybody can do it...something as simple as a smile...

You still look adorable, even with your rash...its' your light that shines through.

hope today is a good one for you, Mark and the whole family. And Lupus Flare ----- BE GONE...

There, it damn well better get outta dodge....

take care,

10:28 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

It worked on me, I'm sending loads of smiles back at you.

Give one of those smiles to Mark and Jay for us. When Angela gets home give her one too.

Photos are helpful for me to better understand lupus and how it manifests itself.

Take care.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

You are beautiful inside and out...and your beauty makes me smile!

10:36 AM  
Blogger The Whole Self said...

you are an inspiration, over and over again. sending hugs and wellness and anything else you might need.

10:44 AM  
Blogger amy said...

Darlene, I posted a picture for you on my blog. Hope you like it.

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

You've inspired me to make a list of things that I smiled about today. I posted it on my blog and ecouraged others to do the same. Smiling is so much fun!!

xoxo Sophie

12:11 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Hi Darlene, keep smiling! I too like to try my smile experiment when I go out running. I smile at everyone I pass and say hello. It's interesting to see people's reactions.

1:29 PM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

Good gravy I sure do love you! Those words hit home with me today. Thank you for that.

As always, sending you tons of love and prayers.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

I am smiling with you! How awesome of you to remember Job, he is great inspiration with things look bleak doesn't he? And why is it when things are not going to great, there is always a rash of some kind involved. That happened to me once and first thing I thought of was Job, and made me start smiling too. Great big blessings will be at the end of this ordeal!

And hey, you look pretty darn good even with a rash. One of the pictures you posted once, my hubby saw it and asked if that was Mark's girlfriend!! He thought you were pretty hot sister!!

Love Ya!!

2:57 PM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Dear Smiling Soul ... thank you for reminding us all of the power of a smile (for the giver and receiver!) And sometimes, even if nobody is looking, it feels so good to smile ...just for yourself, or God, or the air.

I know these are hard days for you and for Mark. And yes, he's a man, not a little boy - and you're a mom & a woman - and you're both in it together, trying the best you can.

Love and hugs to you, xx, JP

3:32 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

Sending you a ~smile~! :)
Take care....you are a beautiful woman....inside and out!

5:06 PM  
Blogger Blue the Spa Girl said...

Hello again Darlene...rash or not, you're still beautiful.
I will take to heart your advice on smiling. As of late I have learned this, that choice definately effects the outcome of many events in life. Our reaction to things matters, doesn't it?

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Lunarmusings said...

You are gorgeous! And your bravery and tender loving smile is a gift! Will definately smile and pass it on as I go about my day!

6:38 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

I think you look great.

Your hair is still really chic.

And you look blessed and loved (the absolute best way to look, no doubt).


8:25 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Wise words, from a beautiful lady. (You can't help it. I know. It must be hard to be so lovely inside and out!)

If you can smile, we all can smile. Thank you for reminding me.

oxox :)

9:19 PM  
Blogger Romina Bacci said...

awww... I so want to hug you right now!! :)

9:25 PM  
Blogger LisaOceandreamer said...

Oh sweet Darlene your beauty, the beauty on the outside AND the inside shines through no matter what. Your ability to smile is testament again to your strong spirit and inner light.
You have an inner resolve that stems from love!

9:43 PM  
Blogger Jone said...

Darlene, I am smiling. You have such courage and strength. That you for inspiring me.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Angela Marie said...

your smiles
cause ~ and ~ effect baby
cause ~ and ~ effect!

love you

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You truly are beautiful inside and out, with or without lupus. xo
Alexandra (MM)

9:59 PM  
Blogger Gracey said...

That post really did inspire me...thank you. I will choose to smile too even when my Jer is fighting in Iraq! I love the story of Job; I have found myself reading it in the Bible more often now. Thank you again for the reminder!

10:35 AM  
Blogger Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

I'm so sorry you have to experience that, but I think you still look so beautiful. You have such great bones.
I hope you fell better soon so you can take care of your son the way you dream.

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so beautiful! Inside and out..... :) My friend has a problem with exzema and was advised to try *OreganoOil*. and since you love to learn about new things.. please give this a try.:) blessings:)xx dee

5:54 PM  
Blogger NancyJones said...

HI darlene a friend sent me to you blog. bless your heart for all that your going through. I too have lupus sle and go through so much so I can so understand what your saying. I dont take photos of me that much cuz I look rough haha. but I so admire you for doing it. You are a beautiful strong lady. I will be praying for you and for Mark.

2:20 PM  

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