Tuesday, January 02, 2007

A Family Hanging On

Cape Cod Kitty mentioned that it was good for Angela to get on with her life, mainly because this is going to be a loooooog haul and that Mark is well aware of imposing in everyone's lives. Yes, Kitty, you were so right, Mark has been appologizing about Christmas and New Years ever since the accident. But Mark....when you are back home and you are reading this, I want you to know that everyone in the family really could care less about Christmas or New years.
Our family was together on that night and that's what it is all about. So, just like this ginger boy, you will be made whole again. We believe in you and love you.

Update #20 ~ Many of you have asked me how the rest of the family is doing. Your concern for my family is so very precious to me.

~* the insect is just posing for me to take his picture...nice little guy.

~* hubby is at the hospital 12-14 hours a day, works at his computer when Mark naps and makes regular phone calls all day long for updates to other family members.

~* sissy (Angela) has had to leave and go back to San Francisco to begin her new job tomorrow. She is struggling emotionally and wants to be with her brother.

~* I'm in the middle of a Lupus flare and have not been able to get to the hospital for 2 days. I will go see Mark tomorrow no matter what. I can't stand not seeing him. I hear my mind repeating, "I can't believe this is happening to us."

Mark got his back X-Ray today. It required a lot of bending, both forward and backward, and was extremely painful. He maintains a high fever and his CT scan showed something large in his small intestine. What is it? Well, it could be a gas pocket pushing against swollen intestine, an abscess caused from the infection, or a blockage of some kind. The later two would require a 3rd surgery, which would put us back to square one and Marks body didn't handle surgery #2 very well. A special X-Ray tomorrow morning will give the doctors a better idea and a surgery yes or no. He was moved from the CCU today, out of a lack of space. It was decided by worst case scenario first. We are not happy, but Marks patient care will not suffer. Everyone keeps saying that he has his youth on his side...thank goodness, but I feel like this is aging me and I need to maintain strength both inside and out.
Thank You for your continued prayers, lit candles and positive vibes. Most of all, thank you for giving me your feedback that has turned into a lifeline for me....bless you all!
The P.O.Box # will be posted tomorrow :)
Christy...Tell your boys that Mark would have gone if he were well and closer, he adores kids!


Anonymous amy said...

i hope tomorrow's x-ray brings some good news for Mark. or at least the best news of some not so fabulous options. i also hope you manage to get some rest and that you feel a little better soon.

as you've noted before this will be a long journey of small steps but you have wonderful travelling companions in your family.

it must be difficult for Mark's sister not to be there physically but i'm sure her strong spirit will be felt in that room, in just the same way that your sister's is.

take care of yourself.


12:06 AM  
Blogger dd said...

Just checked in before turning my laptop off and glad to see an update, although wish it was saying everything is fine and NO surgery will be needed. I guess tomorrow will tell...for the surgery.

I can imagine how hard it is for Angie to have to go back home.

Your husband's dedication is absolutely awesome, spending that many hours a day. Thank God you have someone like him to cover and be there when you are incapacitated . I'm wondering how long lupus flares last, I will have to google that although I'm sure its' a case by case situation.

Take care Darlene, as much as possible. Will continue to pray and see Mark as healing quickly.

Lots of love to all of you.


12:14 AM  
Blogger Toni said...


Here's wishing and hoping everything will be fine with the
x-ray etc and Mark won't need surgery.

Your family's dedication is absolutely wonderful. Mark is a very lucky young, healthy man.

Sending Positive prayers and lots of love from Launceston, Tasmania, Australia.

Take care of yourself,

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Lady Painter said...

Everyday brings his lot of news and everyday we pray that the news will be good. I believe that we can help with our priers and offers. My Bouddha is helping, this is going to be a long way to the day Mark will leave the hospital. We will be with you everyday.
Take good care of you and courage.

12:19 AM  
Blogger Shaz said...

Oh sweet I wish I could hold you up.
I wish I could take J's shift so he could hold you up.
I wish I could do angelas new job so she could stay with you all. But all I can do is pray and pray I will, he has got us this far and we have more than youth on our side you know this babe hang in there and rest. I pray for health for yor you all.
Love and Hugs xxx

1:00 AM  
Blogger luzie said...

It's morning over here already, and one of the first things I did after I turned my laptop on was to come here to see if you've updated..

Poor Angela.. I remember how shattered and distressed I felt when my brother had to have meniscus knee surgery, something that was planned ahead of time. Yet it was awful to see him in so much pain. I cannot possibly imagine what it must be like for her to be away from the family right now.

I'm praying that when it's tomorrow for you the doctors will see no need for a 3rd surgery.. And I hope your lupus flare will slow down..


1:10 AM  
Blogger LADY LUXIE said...

My prayers continue..You are always in my mind and heart...

2:22 AM  
Blogger angela said...

If Mark needs surgery then I hope it will fix the problem with the fever and he will recover well.
If he doesn't need the surgery then I'm hoping the doctors have a treatment for whatever the obstruction is.
Either way I'm thinking of you all and praying for Mark's speedy recovery.

2:28 AM  
Anonymous Cape Cod Kitty said...

You have a very beautiful family! You are beginning the nitty gritty phase of Mark's recovery and this takes even more faith and focus on your own survival as well. Even though some of you, and most of us, are far away, the energy of love and healing are continuing to support all of you as you turn your focus to healing yourselves from this trauma to your family. By healing your lupus flare, you are helping Mark. He understands that. The pull on your heart - wishing to be by Mark's side every minute - must be so hard. Your husband is amazing and I hope he is doing something each day to restore his soul...a walk, meditation, etc. Angela is doing a good thing for Mark by focusing on her life. Believe me, Mark is aware of the disruption his injuries have caused to the family and knowing you are all doing your regular life as much as possible, is very important to his recovery.
Continued love and positive energy is with you.
Wishing you lots of ease, a positive outcome on the results of the x-ray and abatement of your lupus symptoms.
You are all so brave!
Cape Cod Kitty

3:19 AM  
Blogger paris parfait said...

Here's hoping Mark won't need further surgery - and that you try to take care of yourself, too! Lovely photos of all your beautiful family. Better days ahead!

3:56 AM  
Blogger sweet memories said...

I have been following your story and praying for you and your family several times throughout the day...I see all of your eyes and the love you have for him in these pictures. I think you are an amazing woman and cannot relate to the way in which you feel, other than you must have really been so strong going into this. Mark is lucky to have you as his mama, and he knows that by the signs he has given you...Your family is beautiful inside and out and I just ask that you are given the strength each day to accomplish all that you have with this...you are a lovely woman and I thank you for sharing your love for your family with us...hugs to you Mark, your husband, your daughter, your friends....

4:19 AM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

((((((((Jay,Angela,Mark,Darlene))))))LOVE and prayers, xooxoxoxoo, Cinda *** Please O heavenly Father, GIVE this family some GREAT comforting news today! Please GIVE them strength for another day, Please GIVE them your presence and more angels to help them, Please GIVE Mark HEALING, Please O LORD, a MIRACLE of good health for Mark,and healing also for Darlene so she can be with Mark, COMFORT to Angela in her new job, and more STRENGTH, FAITH and HOPE for all the family and friends especially Jay, Blessings to all, LOVE to all

4:21 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

You all make a formidable team.

Mark is fortunate to have you all there for him.

Thanks for the photos.

Not much to say. Hope the news is better today.

Had to stop by to get the latest update. (lurking is not permitted here.)

Much love and positive energy to you all.

[btw, a self portrait with the mirror tip: prop the camera on something and turn off the flash.]

4:41 AM  
Blogger deni said...

This has to be tremendously hard for all of you. I am praying that your Lupus dies down so you can continue on. And of course, I continue to pray for Mark and your family.

4:59 AM  
Anonymous Brian said...

Good morning Darlene,

I was thinking as I read this, that crisis brings out the best in some people. You and your family, all your family have risen up and given all that they have in love and caring. It also seems though, that you feel that you are failing Mark. That by being ill yourself, that you have let him down.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Darlene, you can't change what happened. You can't heal Mark; you need to have faith in God and his will. You are doing as much and more that anyone could expect of you. Do not berate yourself, you are a wonderful, compassionate mother who leaves me in awe every day with your incredible strength of character and purpose.

((((hugs)))) and much, much love.

5:04 AM  
Blogger maggiegracecreates said...

I continue my prayer vigil and will add Mark to our church prayer team list.

Is there anything you can do to lesson the effects of the Lupus? i too am not educated about Lupus so I am incredibly concerned about you as well as Mark.

I hope all goes well well with you daughter's new job. SO much happening in a very short time frame.

We continue to pray for you all.

5:31 AM  
Blogger gerry rosser said...

I am sorry to hear your lupus flare is keeping you from your son? Does stress have an influence on these flares? How do they manifest?

As ever, I think of you and your son and family every day, hoping for the best.

5:38 AM  
Blogger Shari said...

It's wonderful to see how closely knit your family is. I am happy for you that your hubby has a job he can do on the computer and stay with Mark as much as possible.

I can see why Angela is so torn and you, too. It must so hard not to to go to the hospital and see him due to your lupus flare up. You do need your health, too.

I pray that all of this will show improvements daily.

As always, prayers are sent, along with the rest of the world.

6:09 AM  
Blogger Linda said...

Praying for this set-back to pass quickly.

6:25 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I'm sending hopes and prayers that the x-ray shows good news, with no more need for surgery!

Your family is so beautiful, Darlene. Sending love your way~~~~

6:32 AM  
Blogger poet said...

checking in and sending you love and hugs as ever, poet.

6:39 AM  
Blogger Becca said...

Hoping you'll hear good news on the x-rays...hoping you can pull out of your lupus flare...hoping you can see Mark today and he will smile at you...hoping Angela can settle into her new job without feeling too badly about being away...hoping your husband continues to hold up so he can hold you up...hoping and praying...

6:48 AM  
Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

Wishing you all the strength during this difficult time. I went back to church last week and said a few prayers for you all.

I love your dedication to one another, stay strong dearest Darlene, good times are waiting for you all.

Sending you my best wishes and prayers XxX

6:49 AM  
Blogger alison said...

i will continue praying for mark, for you and your family. lotsa love to all of you. xoxo

6:52 AM  
Blogger Star said...

I am lighting my candle for Mark and your family once again this morning.

I will assume that what they have seen is gas that will hopefully dissipate soon. I'll be checking back to learn of the results of this morning's X-ray.

Each of you is in my prayers. Mark is, indeed, lucky to have his youthful vigor on his side and I pray for resolution of the fever and its cause so that all his body's energy might be directed to healing. Your husband's vigil is draining, I'm sure, and I pray that he will find renewed strength each day. As Angie diverts her attention from the brother she loves to the beginning of her own life as an independent worman, I pray that she will know that her presence is not necessary for Mark to feel her love, that they are connected by bonds of the heart. And you dear Darlene, I pray that you will be able to draw on the well of love that is here for you in these comments and the storehouse of faith you have built throughout your lifetime.

Sending love and good thoughts to you; please take care of yourself.

6:55 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

you know were i stand on support and recovery realities... Mark is such a fighter and his family amazes us all with their stamina, willpower, love and support.

never forget. those supporters need downtime too. focus on healing yourself... mind, body and soul.

the rest is easy. when you can, be there for your boy. this is what family is all about. taking turns, shifts, and all that goodness provides mark with more healing power than you likely realize.

stay well.
mark's on his way along the same path.


7:29 AM  
Anonymous mindy said...

hanging in there with you dear one..hope the news of the xray is good and what we are all praying for. you are a strong mama warrior even though you may not feel that way, and i so admire all that you are! blessings to your family as well. if i could send you all peace wrapped up in a package it would be in the mail today. i will keep sending you my well wishes via the universe and hope for only the best for your sweet, sweet boy. lots of love.

8:04 AM  
Blogger mama al said...

best wishes and prayers will keep coming...

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Kim said...

Praying for good news with the x-rays.....praying you will not get so bad you need to be hospitalized.......praying strength for your dear husband......your sweet daughter.......thanking God that Mark is who he is.....strong,determined,FULL of life!!
Kim in IN

8:48 AM  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Prayers for x-rays that give news of self healing and no further surgery are coming your way.

I am also thinking of each of you individually and sending thoughts of peace....and sleep. You are all so exhausted and retaining your strenght is paramount right now.

Take good care of yourself...thinking of you and sending love...xoxoxoxo...J

9:17 AM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

Well, I will be praying that the "whatever it is" in his intestines be something that will not require surgery. Thanks for the udpate on the rest of your family. Please tell them they are in our prayers, too.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Trish Ryan said...

I'm praying for the results of Mark's x-ray, and for you. Your cry for strength makes me think of that passage in the Bible where the leader (Moses?) had to hold his arms up and his staff in the air for his troops to succeed in battle - whenever he dropped his arms his troops were pushed back. So two of his friends came on either side of him and held up his arms, and his men won the victory.

I know I botched that story horribly, but my point is that I hope you know that we're here to hold up your arms when you're out of strength. We are praying, standing by you, believing in God's power to heal both you and Mark. Hang in there, let God fight for you!
Much love,

9:47 AM  
Blogger windyangel said...

Ongoing thoughts and prayers are with you. Wish I could be right there to give you a great humungous hug.

12:15 PM  
Blogger Jerri said...

Prayerfully waiting for news of the x-rays today.


1:31 PM  
Blogger Gracey said...

This is a prayer from a book called "Pillow Prayers" that I read from each night. I thought of you when I read this.

Tender Lord Jesus, in the midst of sorrow, my heart has turned into melted wax. Without Your strength to give courage, I cannot stand; without Your light to guide through this ebony hour, I cannot wick; without Your grace, my hope would be extinguished. Upon those whom I love, pour our mercy like annointing oil. Lift the weighty hours from our minds and untie the tension that knots deep within. Release Your cross-filled liberty into our hearts. You who goes before us, who steadies us through the valley, who brings up the rearguard, announce Your strong presence among us. Amen.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Teresa Sheeley said...

I hope the x-ray came back on a positive note.

Stay strong dear one!!

We will continue to pray and my thoughts are also with Angela hoping she is coping ok too. You have raised some very strong children.


2:44 PM  
Blogger Sheila said...

What a good looking family you are..!
Saying extra prayers for Mark, and hoping that IF more surgery is needed, it will solve this problem.
Don't forget to take car of you..xx

2:51 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Hang in there....our prayers are still with you and your whole family.
And now a "thank you" to you for your daily up-dates. Many of us are praying for your family and knowing that we can check in to see the progress that Mark is making is actually a blessing to us...a sense of relief to see that he is strong and still fighting for everything he's got !!!

2:54 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Hi sweet thing,

I am hoping with you that it is good news tomorrow! And that you start to feel better, too. It can't be easy to fight with your own body when you need to be well and strong. ((hugs))

Last night at prayers Wyatt asked me if mark 'could still see angels'...And I asked him what he meant. he said, "You know how little kids can still see angels, mom. How old is Mark? Can he still see them?" I said he was in his twenties, and I didn't know if he could. So he said to tell him that they are right over his head. ;)

I was going to put that on my blog later, but I wanted to pass it on to you, so you could tell him. :)

love to you! Something will be coming to you soon in the mail.


4:01 PM  
Blogger Blue the Spa Girl said...

I feel bad that Mark is apologizing to all of you...poor guy. He likely feels like he ruined your holiday. When he becomes a Dad, he will know that none of that matters unless you have your children beside you. Sending more love and prayers to your family. And what an attractive family it is!!!
Much love to all, the candle still burns...

6:54 PM  
Blogger melba said...

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and your family. I am still praying for you everyday even if I don't comment know there are MANY of us sending loving energy your way everyday.


6:54 PM  
Blogger magicaldamselfly said...

Darlene I want to send you healing light for yourself and lots of love. I'd also like to say that your journey may be long but it will not be lonely as we are all here to travel this road with you. So always remember that you are loved and that you are never alone!
Mark is never alone on his journey either as he is being lifted up in constant prayer by many wonder*full people. I know that it is hard for you when you are not there with Mark but he is never alone as Jesus is always there, holding him and loving him.

God bless you all,

6:56 PM  
Blogger Romina Bacci said...

lots of love to all the family from my little corner of the world.

you are all in my mind & heart.

hugs. kisses & angels.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Chulita said...

Darlene, I keep imagining Mark healing hoping that the energy I am sending will help the healing process. It must be so hard for you not to be able to be with him as much as you would like, but at least his father is there, and you know Mark feels your presence with him always. I hope your Lupus gets under control, try to rest as much as possible. I will continue praying for all of you. God Bless you and be with you.

7:43 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Just checking in to read the latest update. Sorry to hear that you have been unable to visit Mark for 2 days, that must be so frustrating and upsetting for you. Hang in there, hopefully tomorrow will bring good news and more baby steps forward.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

7:50 PM  
Blogger Brown eyed girl said...

HI THERE! I'm actually commenting again! Been so very sick again, and as you know with Fibro and the likes, when you're down, getting back up again doesnt' happen all that quickly.
I've been catching up slowly on all the updates. What amazes me, is that you don't just update us, you write beautiful things! You amaze me, what a survivor, you can still through all of this post pics, and be creative in your titles. I did smile at the "new years bubble". Poor guy, he can have no shame now, everyone knows everything and seen everything while he lies there in that hospital.:( I still can't believe how difficult this is. You know from my emails I'm still praying and thinking of you all time. Hope to read more as I recover. So glad you had time with the pastor's wife too. AND I'm so blessed by the fact that you're whole family is taking care of you guys! Talk to you soon!

8:43 PM  
Blogger amy said...

I was wondering what you do to help get over a lupus flare up. Are there certain rituals you follow besides just trying to rest and cut down on stress? Easy one right now, huh? We're still lifting you all up in prayer.

9:48 PM  

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