Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Being Kicked on the Inside?



I was in the perfect state of mind when I received this book about Motherhood from Jane Poe - Nevermore. Yes, we do start motherhood by first being kicked from the inside. OH how I remember those mornings when I got up and felt like someone had played a game of dodge ball behind my ribs. And here's the Update on Mark......

He is having some trouble digesting any food. Bland or not, there seems to make no big difference in what happens next. Bad cramping and straight water. Tests are always being done and redone and we feel wonderful taking care of him and having him home.

I am having some of my lupus flare and really need to take care of that, so today I'll be laying low. Mark has lost a total of 40 pounds! It was shocking to him and other's that visit him. We spent part of the day opening the many cards and packages that were sent to him (a couple of you had asked for an address, email me for that please :) He tires easy and the entire digestive process is exhausting for him. Travels in the wind had her entire class make 'Get Well' cards for him and it is quite apparent that Mark loves children.

The most ingenious small pieces of art have taken hours to look at because of their beauty. All these things and more make Mark smile, a sight worth it's weight in gold.

Baby steps....I am grateful for baby steps because we take one more every day. The other night I heard Jay crying into his pillow, trying to muffle his sorrow away from anyone else. I save mine for the shower. Being so very grateful and feeling such deep sorrow seem strange bedfellows, but in this house, at this time, they have taken up residence. At least for this week and we try our best to smile through it all.

Thank you all for your unfailing love and kindness, it is truly courageous.

30 Comments:

Blogger turquoise cro said...

((((((((Jay, Darlene, Mark, Angela)))))))) xo, Cinda

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

Hugs, a lot of them, to you all!!

x Sophie

10:46 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Boundless amounts of energy and love to you, Jay, Mark and Angela.

10:51 AM  
Blogger Jemima said...

So we're targetting the good vibes on his digestive tract, I can do that :-)

Thinking of you all J X

11:00 AM  
Blogger bb said...

You rest up and be kind on yourself. Love to you and yours x x x x

11:03 AM  
Anonymous suzie q said...

Take care of yourself, sweetheart, and get those painful emotions up & out of your system whenever you're able...
Still lighting the candles for you daily, and sending love, light & healing energy for you all, every day.
Huge Hugs,
Suze xXx

11:11 AM  
Blogger dd/sandy said...

Digestive tract...BE WELL!! Now.

Mark's perfection is shining through and very brilliant today. He IS getting better. Thank you Father for his complete and utter perfection.

(((Darlene))) just hoping that flare of yours' backs off and disappears. Have a loving day with your son at home.

sandy

11:46 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

I hope that you can find some time for rest, Darlene. You have to take care of yourself so that you are able to continue helping Mark ... and Jay. Sometimes I feel so bad for the men because they think they are supposed to be able to 'fix' everything, and when something as devastating as this comes along, and they can't 'mend' it right now, I think they have a really tough time with feelings of failure and frustration and not being able to let their emotions go as easily as women can. I think of all of you every day...seems strange in a way since I've only 'known' you such a short time, but my heart staggers under the weight that all of you are carrying right now. Sending prayers and quilted hugs to all of you....

12:02 PM  
Blogger windyangel said...

Ongoing prayers for you and your family. Yes, baby steps and some times it may not even feel like that is happening.
Much love,
Wendy

12:03 PM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

So much has happened to all of you in such a short amount of time ... each of you carrying the weight of this experience in your own way. Our family surrounds your family in love and light ~ much love and healing thoughts to each of you.
Love, D & L and kids

12:09 PM  
Blogger Star said...

Keep on taking those baby steps together. Sending healing thoughts for the GI tract and restful ones for you.

Loving all of you...

Star

12:21 PM  
Blogger AnnieElf said...

Tummy, settle down. Everyone will be much happier including you, dear tummy. Hugs to all, Annie

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Brian said...

Here's to all the wonderful and loving mothers out there. (((hugs)))

12:34 PM  
Blogger Brown eyed girl said...

So neat that so many are sending cards and packages, to show support and love, a small light in these tough days! Maybe Mark can be a Children's Respiratory Therapist !?
Luv, Michelle, and Maddy says Hi!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Angela Marie said...

baby steps... one day at a time.

(((((BIG HUG)))))

love yous

2:07 PM  
Blogger Karen Travels said...

I am glad Mark has opened the cards! The kids put so much love into them, and they still ask about him 2 weeks later! I could have written pages on how funny they are!! (Did ya see a couple of the girls put their phone numbers in? lol)

Feel better!!
Hugs and love,
Karen

3:27 PM  
Anonymous poet said...

sending my love and hugs to everyone.poet.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Cape Cod Kitty said...

Darlene,
Wishing you all continued strength to take those wonderful baby steps, peace to your hearts and minds, and soothing thoughts for Mark's digestion process and progress. That is so hard for him, and for you and Jay to watch, too.
Rest, dear one, and renew yourself the best you can each day. It must be such a relief to have Mark at home.
Heartfelt love, caring and positive energy from across the country to you!
Cape Cod Kitty

5:42 PM  
Blogger Becca said...

These are certainly long and tiring days for you all. We all continue to send you good thoughts for strength and healing, every day.

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Kim in IN said...

sending love Darlene,to your whole precious family........
Kim

6:44 PM  
Blogger Jerri said...

The thought of Jay crying into his pillow simply breaks my heart.

No more words come to me at the moment. Only that I continue to hold you all in Light and Love.

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that he is home with you all again, in your company, can hear your voices and movements around the house as he rests and recovers. He has come such a long way. You all have. Weight can, fortunately in his case, be gained (and UNfortunately in mine be gained as well!) <: Day by day you all are making it, inspiring so many, and this is what true families do. I predict this year is going to be filled with enormous leaps in love and healing for each of you. xoxo
Alexandra (Marvelous Madness-can't sign in!)

7:32 PM  
Blogger Chulita said...

My heart just went out to Jay when you mentioned him trying to silence his crying into the pillow. So much for one family to bear, and for one person (Mark) as well! I was finally able to light a candle again for Mark because I had been coming home so late and exhausted, but today I lit the candle and said a prayer in his name that God may continue working miracles in Mark's body. Mark is here for a purpose, an unknown as yet, but a special purpose--so I know God will be working inside him to heal each and every cell to the best of it's ability so Mark's
his body can continue to be his vessel that will let him unfold his special mission here on this Earth. He has many lives to save and many more to touch, but in the meantime we are all here for him--to help him to heal. I send you all my love and good energy. Take Care and God Bless.

XOXO

7:35 PM  
Blogger Romina Bacci said...

So good to hear he's home with you.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing tons of hugs for everybody in that house! yes! :)

9:53 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

Prayers thoughts hugs and kisses always, Love you sweet xxx

10:13 PM  
Blogger ~Bek~ said...

Hugs and love to you and yours.
Always.
Bx

1:01 AM  
Blogger luzie said...

More love, hugs and a whole bunch of positive, healing vibes coming your way!

Love xo
luzie

1:50 AM  
Blogger Sheila said...

The fact that he is at home is a miracle. Tears are healing too, and not to be stifled...xxx

4:13 AM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

Still sending you my warmest thoughts and am glad at least he is home with you now and continuing to heal (however slowly).
Love to you all,
D.

8:45 AM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

I so understand the gratitude and grief, the tears in the pillow and streaming down in the shower.

Blessings to you as you continue your journey.

11:36 PM  

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