Friday, December 22, 2006

Update #8 ~ "Breezy Colors"

When I look at this beautiful gift, I see colors, patterns and lines. The first thing that came to my mind was the mix and match style of all of the squares. Most people put them in a coordinating pattern oooooooooooo and this repeats itself and the blanket is also beautiful, but predictable. And there is nothing wrong with predictable. Predictable is constant, safe and steady. The mix and match style is spontaneous, fun and it catches the eye. It looks fun and it's personality says, "Hey lets go visit our friends on the north corner and have a party!"
This blanket was brought to me as a gift while sitting for those long hours. I held it in my lap and as I stared at the bright colors as Mark slept, my eyes invited my mind to a party in my head.
(Okay---I haven't had much sleep---bare with me here.
Life is not always predictable. Things happen and we have the power to react to those things
This blanket represented my life right now, today...mix matching, this color over here and that color over there and someone might look at this and think, "I would never do it that way" and others may think, "but it makes life more interesting and colorful."
I wrapped myself up in it, sat in the chair next to his bed. And I'm telling you, that if Mark didn't have a high fever, I would have lay ed it on him and said, "Mark, choose a square and tell me its story." And soon we would be talking and his mind would have forgotten why he is there, for just a moment.
Today was a rough day. Marks fever spiked to 102.4 and his blood pressure was all over the place. No wound sites showed external infection, so it is a guessing game. He was on the ventilator all day because he did not have the energy to breathe on his own. I stare at him, in the quiet moments, and remembered that just yesterday I was teaching him how to ride a bike.
Now all I want is for him to be laughing and ready to play with (Breezy) his Beagle.
A side and I are all the different colors too, but look how beautiful we become when we hang out with each other :-) A tapestry of love


Anonymous Joy said...

I have been following Marks story since I read about him on Lisa's (oceandreamer) blog. Each time I have switched on the computer, I have come straight here to see how he is getting on - why? I guess because I am a mother, and a mother of two boys (13 and 21) and so immediately there is a connection.
I love what you have written about the colours and patterns of the blanket, may it warm you with all the love and hugs that are being sent your way.

2:04 AM  
Blogger mrsnesbitt said...

Just seeing how you all are Darlene and to let you know you were in my prayers last night.

Take care dear, hugs across the water.

2:43 AM  
Anonymous amy said...

the colourful blanket is such a lovely image. i hope your son's condition starts to settle and your family can begin to sleep more easily.
best wishes,

3:12 AM  
Anonymous poet said...

holding your hand and giving you warm hugs. in awe of your strength and courage. i admire mark, what a fine young man. i have been reading ever since this all began, and thank you for taking the time to update your 'faithfuls'. truly amazed and sending lots of love and support.............poet

3:16 AM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

Beautiful colors :)

Hope Mark feels better today.

xo Sophie

3:44 AM  
Blogger judie said...

Still praying for you both and sending healing vibes. Wonderful story about the blanket.

4:21 AM  
Blogger luzie said...

The blanket is beautiful, Darlene, and I'm still praying hard that soon Mark WILL tell you the story of any square on it again.

I'm about to leave to spend the holiday with my family, but I will be checking in ever so often to see how're you all holding up in far away California. Mark, you and your family will be in my thoughts.


4:27 AM  
Blogger Shaz said...

Hey my sweet strong beautiful multifaceted friend.
What a beautiful description of that blanket.
You still through all of this shine so bright even if you dont feel it.
My girls and I check every few hours as we are still praying for your strong willed little fighter, oh honey and what a fighter he is.

He is so blessed by your strength, this isnt taught, it is inherited through love and commitment of a vey beautiful momma.
Lovin you and holding you and your family close to my Heart.


4:30 AM  
Blogger twitches said...

You are always so positive even in light of great heartache and difficulty. I have no doubt you are the rock on which your son leans right now - your attitude will give him strength.

4:36 AM  
Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

Just came by again to see how you all are, you may start charging me rent, I spend so much time round here recently, my second time this morning ..

I'm still praying for you all dearest Darlene and I hope u find some warmth being wrapped in the blanket and of course, warmth from all the hugs I'm sending you right now.

Take care X

4:49 AM  
Blogger Jerri said...

Just checking in this morning, Darlene.

As soon as I saw the photo of the blanket, a song started playing in my head. Took a few moments for me to recognize it, but eventually I heard the words echo: "wherever two or more of you are gathered in His name, there is love."

That blanket IS like this blog tribe: an unpredictable, unlikely band of people—all temperments and colors and lands—united in the beauty of love.

My prayers send strength to you and Mark. Wrap yourselves (him only metaphorically, I know) in the colorful blanket and hold tight to the miraculous love it represents. There are SO many "gathered" with you and around you.

Blessings Be.

5:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're still in my prayers, Darlene. It's going to be such a long road back but you and Mark and your family have the strength to travel it. And all of us in the blogland are cheering for you.

Blessing on you all.

5:15 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

Just checking in to see how things are going and to let you know I'm still praying and sending good thoughts your way. I hope today shows some improvement for Mark. I like your thoughts about the colorful blanket.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Checking in to see how you are Darlene..
You are still (of course!) in my prayers and thoughts.
Your vigil makes me realise how we have to enjoy every moment with our (grown)children, in good times and bad. Not just when they are sick or because it's Christmas..we must never take each other for granted...or assume we will always be here for each other, each and every moment counts. In our hearts we know this, but in our heads when life gets so busy we sometimes forget.Your experience this week is teaching us all so many things, and making us examine our own relationships.
Sending you more hugs and prayers to put into the 'account'...!

5:28 AM  
Blogger Constance said...

I, like many of your other blogger buddies check your site first thing for any updates on your son. Your family has been on my heart heavily since reading of your son's car accident. I felt an instant connection for 2 reasons.

First off I'm a mom like you and would suffer endless agonies for my children. I could instantly put myself in your shoes thinking my child has been threatened.

Secondly, I believe the Holy Spirit has drawn myself and all of these others here. For what purpose?

Maybe it's to be encouraged by your struggles and your faith.

Maybe it's to exercise our prayer muscles which have become flabby for lack of use.

Maybe it's to make us grateful as we reflect upon what's really important in this life.

Maybe it's all of the above!

When we are in the middle of pain, it's hard to look beyond the moment. Words of how God will use this for His glory are unfathomable. In fact, it makes us angry-why use me for that? Choose someone else for that purpose. Couldn't you have accomplished that in a less painful way? God welcomes our questions. He also welcomes our anger and our shaking our fists in His face.

I believe in my heart that a day will come, after your son has recovered, that your family will be amazed at how deeply you all have been changed-for the better.

I believe Christmas came early to your family. Maybe not in the way you were planning it but it came nonetheless. Already there are numerous things to give thanks for in the midst of such pain and anguish. Not to say the chritian cliche thing, but this event might very well be your family's finest hour!

It's not easy, you won't always get it right, it's stressful and it's frustrating but God is faithful. As Daniel says,
"There is a God in heaven"...

He hears the prayers and cries of His children. He is not distant and uncaring, He is as close as the beat of your heart and the breath on your lips.

Sending hugs and prayers from Texas!

5:29 AM  
Blogger "K" Fingerett said...

Wow. That is a wonderful blankie. It makes me comfortable just thinking about it ^_^

A new face? Yes, thats me! A little bird told me about the latest happenings here and lead me to your page.

::hugs for you and yours::

I hope everyone feels better soon!

I have something else to pray about tonight...

Much love

::more hugs::


5:46 AM  
Blogger rising to the challenge said...

Such a beautiful gift. And so good that you can find it in your colourful heart to see the colours in it now and let you imagination travel through them.
I hope Mark is having a better day today.
Thinking of you and sending you warm Irish love and the strength of a big Irish ox for Mark...
Always here,

5:55 AM  
Blogger gerry rosser said...

Yesterday, on television news, I heard that the last of the children shot in the Amish school went home. A couple in Boston did their annual thing of having a huge affair in a convention center for the homeless children of Boston, making sure each child not only gets a present, but it is what they wanted, many, many people participate with donations and/or volunteering of time. Our little granddaughter told each of us that she loved us--she does this pretty often. She told me I was her best friend.

My thoughts are still with you and your son and entire family, but I thought it would be nice to relate some happy stuff. I really believe that there are acts of kindness and love, large and small, every day, in such overwhelming numbers, that they outweigh all negative events and deeds thousands, millions of times over.

I have not responded to your kind email regarding the subject of faith, perhaps in the future.

6:15 AM  
Blogger Libbys Blog said...

Just hopped across to see how things where. You are all in my prayers.

Libby (UK) xxxxx

6:30 AM  
Blogger JanePoe said...

Dear Darlene ... yes, we are a tapestry of love! Throughout your crisis you continue to write so beautifully, with such authenticity and wisdom. I pray Mark's fever comes down and his body continues its healing process. Much peace and love to you sweet momma as you sit by your lovely son's side. xo, Deborah

7:08 AM  
Blogger Alexandra G said...

I'm just amazed at how you have faced this past week-such devotion and courage and kindness. Its truly deeply inspiring and I wanted you to know that. I am so grateful this holidays that though your son will have a challenging, painful path ahead that he will be okay, more than okay. Sounds to me like you will have Christmas afterall! And that blanket, my nana years ago made a similar one, really similar, and it made me miss her so. Darlene, I am wishing you a wonderful, beautiful Christmas this weekend together with all your family. Take good care of YOU too!

7:57 AM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

I love the blanket representation of the support you're receiving. I'm praying for strength for Mark - I'm excited to hear that he's off the ventilator soon.

God, keep blessing Darlene & Mark.

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Brian said...

"Colors of Darlene"

Look deep into the colors
Mark, a baby, a boy, a man
Who are we, that come here
Day after day
Offering prayers
And hope to a mother
Look deep into the colors
The world is there
The world is here
We are the yarn
We are the patterns
Look deep into the colors
You will see yourself
Staring into the mirror
Trying to stay warm
It is easy to lose faith
Times of sorrow and pain
Look deep into the colors
All your questions
Will be answered
All your doubts
Will be eased
All your love
Will be returned
Look deep into the colors.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Lisa(oceandreamer) said...

As is my morning routine I come here first. The way you have written about this blanket resonated...the threads that are woven ARE representative of the collective healing circle. The variations of colors and texture and shapes and size make up the vast array of those praying and sending you healing thoughts...people around the world all coming together and wrapping ourselves around your weary shoulders and Mark's. I hope the sounds of the whispered thoughts are like a lullaby for you and for Mark...the light from the candles lit like a star to wish upon and the virtual hugs a means for you to stand strong and Mark to heal. You are in my thoughts all the waking day.
Much love to you and Mark

8:42 AM  
Anonymous AscenderRisesAbove said...

I come here daily to read how mark is doing. I see him as slowly getting stronger.

I wish I could offer you more then these quiet prayers.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Todd Harris said...

our prayers and suport are with you. I just learned of Mark's accident. Best wishes to you and your family

9:25 AM  
Blogger brittany said...

I haven't had time to blog or read blogs, but I keep coming here to check in. It is a beautiful gift. Refreshing.

Mark's poor body. I wish it could heal itself quicker.

Love to you.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

That is my style of blanket, to be sure. Mix the colors. Mix the up and downs...And know in the end it it is beautiful and lovely.

Sitting with you in spirit. ;)


9:44 AM  
Blogger Kim G. said...

Darlene -
Still holding you and Mark in our prayers. Wrap that blanket tightly around you and feel it as a hug from your bloggie tribe. We are all there at Mark's bedside with you. Hold onto the hope that sometimes fever is a good thing - Mark's body is fighting, fighting any infection before it takes hold, fighting to live.

Take care of you and remember to rest.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Star said...

I hope this day has brought positive changes for Mark--that his fever is down, his breathing easier and that the mending has begun.

The afghan in the photo is beautiful (picture me in the pink!). It reminds me of many my own grandmother made. Your interpretation of it many patterns and colors is wonderful and I hope you can truly feel the love of all of us wrapped around you when you pull it close.

Sending love to you and your entire family (even Breezy, who I'm sure misses Mark so much).

xoxo Star

9:59 AM  
Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Praise God for the comfort and perspective he brings - what a beautiful blanket, and I LOVE your description of how, while this may not be the way you would have laid the colors of your life out, it does make it more interesting and colorful.

Bless you as you keep on loving your son. I'm praying for his fever to go down, for strength to breathe (for both of you) and for his wounds to heal and remain free of infection - the ones on his body and the ones in his heart.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

Still checking in to see how Mark is doing...that blanket is gorgeous and such a perfect metaphor for this experience. I hope he improves over the next hours and days.
Love to you all,

10:22 AM  
Anonymous Donna Cartagena said...

I too have been following Mark's story since reading about him on Boho's blog. I also cannot explain why he has been on mind- we are total strangers but we share somthing in common-we are both Moms. I want to tell you that I have been sending positive thoughts and well wishes since the beginning . You are strong and brave person - even though you may not see yourself in that light. Everything you have been feeling is totally normal-he is your baby-no matter how old they get they are always your babies. I cannot express to you how wonderful a Mother you have been and I am so touched by the close relationship that you and Mark have-it is so evident in your posts. He is a gorgeous young man and he will get through this , especially with all of the loving arms of his family members to hold him. And in regards to one of your previous posts- that he does not have a girlfriend at this time - his wounds will heal and even if they leave scars it will not stop the wonderful woman that is out there somewhere that was meant to be with him- she will love him no matter what!!!
I am hoping that in your next update things have improved even more -- I know this Christmas will not be like those that have past but gather the family around and hold each other tight-- things will get better as each day progresses.
Much love and hugs

10:27 AM  
Blogger Mayden's Voyage said...

Praying, I am praying for Mark-
and I am praying for you...for your family.

I pray for healing- and for peace...for YOU. And I pray~

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

Your insights about the blanket reveal the beauty of your heart- what love I touched my heart!

May Mark's healing come quickly and completely-

-Cora (via "Bird's" blog)

11:13 AM  
Blogger deni said...

I am praying for a miracle for Mark, with so many across the world praying, God is definately looking down and holding Mark in His hands. What a testiment he will be when he is healed.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I have come here via Poet's Hideaway, and I have just been down this page and read what you have been going through. I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling, and my heart aches so badly for you all. This is the first time in a long time that a blog has made me cry to the extent that yours has.

My most sincerest special thoughts and wishes are extended to your beautiful Mark, you and your family Darlene.

There really are no other words.

11:17 AM  
Blogger britt said...

you sound so much calmer. how wonderful to hear. blessings to you and mark today, many many prayers your way.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous acumamakiki said...

I love your blanket and all the colors together, it is a blanket of love. I'm hoping that Mark's fever subsides and he can come off the ventilator. Sending prayers and healing thoughts to you.

1:37 PM  
Blogger alison said...

don't know what to write, just to let you know that i come back everyday to check on your updates, and that mark and your family are still in my prayers. *hugs*

1:50 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Hi I have come from Poets.
I wish you son a speedy recovery.
I'll be thinking of you and your family when i am with mine

1:51 PM  
Blogger Vesper said...

i read this all for the first time late last night. i'm still away from home, so haven't been checking all my regular blog reads.

i am so sorry to hear about your son's accident, and i'm also so amazed that you kept the blog world informed through it all, and everyone joined together to hold you and your entire family in their arms. it's truly amazing. and i'm adding my prayers and my love and my meditations. in thanks and gratitude that all of us....of different ages and faiths and persuasions.....can come together like this.

so much love and light to you, your son, and your family.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Thought I'd check in to see how things are progressing.

Hopefully the colorful blanket is an omen of better times.

I am sure that you and Mark will make those choices that will allow you both to continue your life's missions.

I am pulling for you and will continue to send Reiki energy to you both to use as you will.

May peace and love be with you and surround you.

Do try to get some rest.

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not really sure what to say. I can't stay away from this place. I find myself needing to come once twice a day to check on updates. Thank you for keeping us posted on Mark's progress.Big hugs and many prayers.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

I wish I could be your blankie Darlene! I would cover YOU with warmness and cozyness! I can't wait til' Mark is feeling better, maybe YOU can maybe ask to bring Breezy to the hospital for a lil' sweet visit! Woof! Woof! God Bless YOU and MARK and all the family! xoxoooxo

4:11 PM  

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