Friday, December 22, 2006

~ Update #6 ~ My Security Blanket

It's 5 a.m. in the morning and I can barely keep my eyes open. But I must, I must post this first. What is this bundle that is sitting on the teal satin pillow? This is the shirt and T-shirt that they cut off of Marks body as he lay in the street. It was then that I saw his internal organs bulging out of the side of his torso, pulling the skin around them tight. I grabbed both shirts from the ground as soon as they left the MT's hands. They have not left me since that moment. Rubber bands hold the bloody parts neatly folded into the center where it can't be seen. Now this shirt is soiled again with my tears, smeared makeup and probably a little spit and snot. Today, I showed it to Mark. He recognized it and I told him what it was to me. "A representation of him," shaped somewhat into the form of a baby. Yes, I tenderly held it, cried hard tears into it, laid it on my pillow near my nose, so that I could smell it as I tried to go to sleep. I held it up and he just looked at me with his big brown eyes and said, "Mom, why are you carrying that around?"
Mother' I need to explain? No, I didn't think so.
The surgery took 2 hours. After, the Doctor entered the waiting room and made us gather around in the chairs. My heart tightened, I clutched the shirt bundle close, ready to cover my face with it to...what? Hide from the bad news? When the surgeon opened him, she found 2 small bleeders. Hmmmm? That wouldn't cause all of his complications. She continued to find more injuries, non-repairable injuries around both his small and large intestine. 1/2 the length of each intestine had to be removed. His colon didn't look right, she removed 3/4 of it. Then, the big find...a long length of large intestine that was black and about to rupture. (bad indeed)...out with it and closed him up.
No colonoscopy! :) I cried, knelt before her and held her tight sobbing, "Thank you, Thank, you!"
"Mark is a strong, healthy, young man...he may experience some eating difficulties, but he will be okay."
Back in the ICU for two more days of close watchful observations, tests and readings, but no colonoscopy...that was the "big Fear" looming in the back of my mind. Now, we make him work his lungs to prevent pneumonia, pay special attention to every tube entry for infections and then he is cleared for a regular ward room for another 7 days. As soon as he can do a little bending, x-rays to begin the assessment of his broken back. A good possibility for another surgery and a 4th for the rubber shield that will be inserted behind his stomach muscles to prevent future hernias.
Boho (my baby sis) sends her love and gratitude for all the lovins. I need her right now. We still have some hurdles to jump. No one wants to have Christmas this year. I pass.
I want to be at the hospital at 10 a.m. sharp. Mark asks for me as soon as visiting hours start. We have done a lot of long gazing into each others eyes...reading fear, courage, shared pain and love. No need for words, just the glisten that makes our eyes sparkle.
Update #7 ~ Mark is on the ventilator for possibly one full day. Doctor feels like the 2nd surgery was rough on him. He is in Morphine la la land. His blood is increasing and getting thicker.
His fever is up, but they felt that this is due to the trauma of the second surgery. My adrenaline has finally run out. I feel like a lead weight (with wings:D) Blogger tells me that this is my 200th post! I can't think of any other subject better than the positive outlook we now all have. Now my tears are those of thankfulness and joy. Now I can admit that death was hovering over my son and the prayers of people all over the world held it at bay. When I close my eyes, I see such warfare in the Heavenly realm that took place. Of course Mark is loved, but what kind of man is born into an era that his cry for help is heard worldwide? Early this morning, while waiting in the surgery wait room, this is all I could think about. Why him? Why me? This cannot be explained. I have read countless (countless!) comments of how this web of protection spun together like wildfire all over the world! If you knew Mark, he is a most humble man...quiet, polite and does not like to be the center of attention. I need YOU to stop and think...why did this story touch so many of your hearts? Most of you are total strangers, yet you wrote account after account of tears that were shed, posts that you dedicated to him on your own sites...why? I am humbled to the core of my being. I feel like the God of this Universe turned in my direction and loudly commanded death to go back where it came from and to NOT touch this man. That's powerful stuff! My knees buckle beneath me in this wonderment.
So, now I ask you...why has Mark's circumstances touched you all so deeply?
And know that this Momma feels so extremely grateful and blown away by all of this. I can't stop telling people about YOU. I stand in Awe of YOU.


Blogger Jessie said...

Reading your words these past several days I know that there is nothhing as absolutely powerful as the love of a mother for her child.
Love is an amazing thing.
I'm so glad to hear that Mark is doing better.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous robyn said...

thank god!! i read your ammendment to your other post when i got to work this morning, and i went to the bathroom and cried. i'm glad he is out of the woods a little more internally-speaking. it's still a rough road for him, but he will make it, and will continue to live strong.

is he a reader? if so, it might be super comforting to have you read to him ... and as cheesy as it sounds, nothing distracts like the "harry potter" books! at first he'll probably hate the fact that you're reading him a kid's book, but he'll love it. i promise. if not, blame it on the nebraskan!

6:40 AM  
Anonymous Erin in NC said...

Many, many thoughts and prayers continue to be sent to the heavens for all of you.

And I think you will, indeed, be celebrating Christmas. Huddle up with the ones you love,let the light of your faith and your family swirl around you and remember that your baby is healing. That, in itself, is a wonderful gift.

Much love to you from across the globe.

6:48 AM  
Blogger angela said...

Some good news, Darlene. Though it's a long road to recovery he's taken his first steps.
The young heal marvellously quickly.
God give you strength,

6:48 AM  
Blogger brittany said...

horray! Perharps this is the beginning of his life instead of the end? (it was heartbreaking to hear that he said that)

God be with you, sweet woman, mother & friend.


7:03 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

It must have given you enormous relief to hear the surgeon say that he's going to be okay. Sounds like you got good news after last night's surgery. As for your previous post, I can't imagine that you WOULDN'T have a myriad of emotions and feelings through this experience...just give yourself permission to feel ALL of your feelings. There's no right or wrong to them--they're YOURS, so you're entitled to them. Will continue to send light and love and healing energy to Mark.

7:06 AM  
Blogger melba said...

jteyyI completely understand about carring Mark's shirt around, wanting his smell and something of his with you at all times.
Will keep praying for you and your family every day.

7:10 AM  
Blogger brittany said...

I just saw your post from last night...sweet Dar, I hope after you sleep you feel better. You have to know that these feelings are normal, and without any sleep and constant unbearable stress, well, I don't want to imagine what state I'd be in. You ARE strong and brave. I don't want to imagine my son in that stifling room--I can't even go there. Hospitals are harsh and not comforting at all, and the hours of waiting are excruciating. Be forgiving of your beautiful self--You're doing such a miraculous job.


7:12 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I'm so thankful to hear that the post-surgery news is so promising. Continuing to send prayers and good thoughts your way, sweetie~~~~~~~~~

7:17 AM  
Blogger Star said...

The time zones between us frustrates me--I feel like anything I have to say is a day late and a dollar short. I am glad to hear that your sis has arrived safely and know that her presence will bring you comfort.

Reading Update #5 just broke my heart. You are a good mother; you are doing all that is within your power to help Mark feel more comfortable and secure.

And the additional things that were done in this morning's surgery, I see those as the stones that will pave the way to his soon recovery. No colostomy!

Just think of all the candles lit around the world, especially at this time of year. Imagine the wonderful fragrance and the warm air from each one rising, and as they ascend they carry the prayers of the world with them, spiraling higher and higher. There are not enough angels in heaven to tend each one, Darlene; they will have to gather them by the armful to lay them at His feet.

Wishing you:
* strength to bear up under the stress
* love in which to wrap your tender soul
* peace of mind as you focus on taking one day, one hour, one moment at a time

Keep expecting miracles! :D

7:26 AM  
Blogger Lisa(oceandreamer) said...

Again I awaken and the first thing I do is come here. I held my breath as I started to read the surgeon came out and then could feel your relief from your words. The road ahead will be long but it is paved with love and lit from the candles world wide. He is strong in determination and strong in his love - the power between you will see him through.
I send him and you even stronger hugs, more love, prayers of healing warmth and the unseen hand of someone helping you to stand when you need it.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous leah said...

sending love and prayers to you, your son and your family. wishing mark a speedy recovery. (((hugs)))

7:41 AM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Darlene..What wonderful news. So many of us feel a connection with you and your son now, and are shedding tears with each step forward that you make. Understandably you will not celebrate Christmas in the way you would have done, instead celebrate that Mark is still with you..xx
And everything Lisa(oceandreamer) wrote...ditto for me.

7:52 AM  
Blogger maggiegracecreates said...

I have cried so hard this morning. For you, for Mark, for all of this. Allow yourself to cry for those tears are washing away the bad things. Allow them to fall publicly for they wash healing and strength from one to another. Spend time reading and singing and sharing. I am so glad he is doing better.

I am also glad boho has gotten there to be with you. Let her help. You need to rest to.

Prayer continue

7:53 AM  
Blogger Pink Granite said...

So glad of the promising news about Mark! What wonderful things come to us in the form of medicine and skilled doctors. Be gentle and good to yourself, Darlene. You are being both a good Mom and a good Patient Advocate for Mark. We continue to hold you all in our thoughts. - Lee

7:56 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

Oh, thank goodness the doctors could find the problem(s). *sigh*

I went to sleep last night with prayers for you both on my lips. ;)

I am so happy you have your sister with you now. I know this will be such a crappy Christmas in so many ways, but...I am just so happy that he is alive. Next year, you will all be together, and you will know better than most what the season is about. Love and family.

HUGE hugs to you!


8:06 AM  
Blogger StephieAnne said...

I'm so thankful that you are seeing the light (as distant as it may be) at the end of this awful tunnel. I am confident this experience will be used in both of yours and Mark's lives to someday bring so many people to the saving knowledge of the love of Jesus Christ - but, I don't want that to sound futile as the pain you all are experiencing is so unimaginable. I think you are an exceptional mother and I don't even know you (but I know Jodi very well and consider her a great judge of character) - don't let the Enemy take get any ground in this experience - there is enough pain that has been inflicted without his demons' of guilt to take any more ground. I will continue praying and have asked the readers of my blog to do the same.....

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alleluia! Thank GOD! Your good news are making my eyes sparkle too Darlene! I'm anonymous because my browser is telling me I need to enable cookies and stuff but I just don't have time to fugure all that out now! I just wanted to let YOU and your loved ones know I am still praying and I think you will be celebrating Christmas too with the gift of life! Take gentle care of each other!!! (((((((Mark and his family))))))Turquoisecro aka Cinda ps. I fully understand that security blanket! kisses and hugs pss. thanks for the quick update!!! "sigh of relief"

8:16 AM  
Blogger Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Dear sweet momma ... of course you have that bundle, holding on to it for dear life. No explanation needed, love.
What beautiful news about the healing process and absence of a colonoscopy - thank god.
Hold on to that sweet sis of yours, and more importantly let her hold you. As scared as you've felt, you've shown tremendous bravery, strength and endless love.
Much peace, love and healing thoughts to each of you, d

8:24 AM  
Blogger daisies said...

reading this post sent a small curve of a smile, the strength of your family is wonderful and what a wonderful step towards his recovery ~ i will keep sending love and prayers for all of you ...

8:28 AM  
Blogger dd said...

I'm so glad he didn't need a colonoscopy. I know he has several more hurdles ahead of him, but for a young guy this colonoscopy would have been a tough thing to endure.

I was so touched reading about your security blanket right now.

I can't blame you for passing on Christmas...

I'm hoping your daughter is handling all this well. She looks like such a sweetie.

Take care Darlene and the prayers will continue.


8:35 AM  
Blogger LEstes65 said...

Thank you GOD!!! Oh this was great news to wake up and read. I'm also praying for God to give you the grace and peace to be able to go easier on yourself. The previous post - I hear you. I've been a mom at the hospital bedside - not quite in your circumstances. But I know the frustration when someone wakes up your baby to uncerimonially rip a catheter from his abdomen without any warning. Just know that you are allowed to demand gentler treatment of your most precious boy. I found one nurse that understood my anger over that and she was our guardian angel - or guardian pit-bull. I will also pray for God to give his caretakers a gentle touch. God is obviously working hard for you and your Mark. You're an awesome mother. AWESOME MOTHER.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Praise God for the beginning of his miracles for you and your son! I'll keep praying. As I type this, I can here Joyce Meyer in the background saying, "Our job, no matter what happens, is to trust God." Bless you with that kind of trust - and the peace that surpasses all understanding!!!

8:50 AM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

i came here holding my breath...and realized i hadn't let it out until jon asked me a question from across the room as i was just finishing your post.
i am so glad the doctors say he is going to be okay. that is doing better. that though he may have some troubles with eating and all that brings he will be okay.
my heart smiles a big smile for you and continues to send you, Mark, Denise, your family and friends who are there peace and healing.
(feel me hugging you again)

8:50 AM  
Blogger Brown eyed girl said...

I rushed to the computer this morning, I couldn't lay in bed and not know what was happening with Mark! Thank you for forcing thru your exhaustion and updating us again! Yah, the t-shirt thing does seem a little strange to a grown man, :) but I get it. When Maddy almost died I instantly through away the pajamas she was wearing and what I was wearing because I couldn't take the reminder ever again, but then again there are things like the smell of her hair that I never want to forget. Like I said before, grief is a funny thing, and if that t-shirt is what gets you through one more moment, then thank God for it! :) You are just that precious and sweet for it! I'm so happy that the surgery was a success. One more baby step..... I'll be praying all day today again!

8:54 AM  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

I am SO incredibly thankful to hear this news about Mark. Glad he has come through this surgery well and can continue to heal himself over the long road thoughts continue to be with you all!

8:56 AM  
Blogger Becca said...

Good news! I'm so glad this last surgery went well. Yes, Mark is a big, strong, healthy man, and he will recover amazingly well -better than you could expect right now. Especially with all the love and care you will provide.

And oh yes, I understand completely about the shirt. One day when he is home, and on his feet, and mucking about the house in his usual way, you will probably take that bundle and consign it to the trash! But for now, I know you need it :)

My love and prayers are still with you, and will continue to be :)

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We just want you to know that prayers are going up from Carlsbad, New Mexico. Miracles occur when prayer is involved!

9:03 AM  
Blogger Lianne said...

MArk is in my prayers. He's a trooper and will be 100% back to normal much sooner than you imagine. Please tell him that angels are around him.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

darlene, i've been traveling for a few days, and i haven't been able to comment (although i've been reading your updates and praying). i am so glad that mark's surgeries have gone well, and i will continue to send constant healing prayers for a full and speedy recovery. much love to you, mark & your family...

9:18 AM  
Blogger rising to the challenge said...

Darlene. Oh my Darlene. (I only just got to read your last two posts now).

Where can I begin?

Darlene,Some day I will find the words to tell you about my mother and the problematic relationship I have with her. The difficulty I experience every time I try to get her to show her love for me. She buys me things, she buys my children things, she runs around helping other people but she has NEVER just sat down and told me that she loves me. She has NEVER done something as simple as sitting and purposely setting aside some time to talk about us. She has NEVER told me that I am a good mother. She has never said a nice thing about my husband (in fact she demeans him every time she gets the chance). I can't remember the last time she told me I looked well. There are so many things that she has NEVER done. And she just lives next door. Darlene, you have to believe me, you are a wonderful and amazing MOTHER. I wish my own mother could take a few leaves out of your book.
I have thought this about you for a very long time -long before any of this happened to Mark. Your words always sound to me like the words of a REAL mother and you have unknowingly become a role model for me.
Please, please steer away from the feelings that make you feel like you're a bad mother. They are the 'human' in you showing its fleeting weakness. But I know that the MOTHER in you is so much more. And Mark does too.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous patricia said...

i am so sorry about your boy! he reminds me of my dark, 23 yr old boy...and we are reeling this morn ourselves with the news that 2 of my daughter's friends were killed in a horrible crash shortly after midnight...there but for grace go heart aches and i can only imagine the horrific pain of loss...

9:23 AM  
Blogger Jemima said...

Thinking of you, keep being strong :-)

9:25 AM  
Blogger hepmomto3 said...

A friend of a friend asked for prayers for you and your family. I want you to know that I will continue praying for you and Mark as long as you need. ((hugs))

9:26 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

You have done a wonderful job Darlene and I see continued prayers all over the blogs. He will make it through this with you by his side. HUGS

9:31 AM  
Blogger Kim G. said...


So glad there is a glimmer of hope in the darkness today. Thanks to God for this encouraging outcome from the surgery. Many prayers to come for the road ahead. Rest, friend . . . rest.

9:32 AM  
Blogger rubyslippers said...

oh darlene, i am so glad to hear this news. you are a strong, brave and honest woman. mark is lucky to have you as a mother. i will keep you all in my prayers...

9:33 AM  
Anonymous amy said...

Holding the shirt is a no brainer and praise God for no colonoscopy!

9:55 AM  
Blogger Jerri said...

Thank God!

And thank you for letting us know how things are going. You, Mark, and your family are continue to be in my prayers and those of so many other people.


10:06 AM  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

What good news! My prayers for more and more good news!
I agree and ditto with what everyone has said here!
Sleep well and hug that pillow extra tight!

10:28 AM  
Blogger gena said...

Still praying for you here in the UK,but sounding better all the time!
Gena xx

10:41 AM  
Blogger Dotee said...

Oh Darlene..I am SO relieved to hear that Mark came through this surgery ok. And that the doctor had good news about his recovery.

I know that your love and strength as a mother is helping Mark through this. You are a beautiful, warm compassionate person and he could not have a better mother than you.

Thank you for sharing the photo of the shirt you have been carrying around with you. I can understand why it is giving you comfort. A piece of Mark with you at all times.

I can imagine the looks you and Mark share and the love that shines between you both.

Much love to you dearest , most bravest Darlene

Dotee xoxo

10:56 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

this is my first time here
and i come here
via liz elayne...
i don't even know what to say,
except that i'm glad to hear
that your son is doing better
yet i wish that the ordeal
had not occured for you at all...
sending best wishes your way!!

11:25 AM  
Blogger Ali la Loca said...

I am so glad to hear this news. You and Mark remind me to count my blessings - and drive safe - this holiday season.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous acumamakiki said...

I was anxious when I came here this morning and so very happy to hear the good news about Mark. So grateful the surgeon found that black intestine and her encouraging words of Mark and his strength.
I'm glad you have your family and loved ones surrounding you Darlene and thank you for sharing your shirts ~ I'd pictured something like this.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am back again to check on your son. I am the stranger who posted yesterday. So glad to hear of this good news. Though I am thousands of miles away (in Rochester, New York), I have been thinking about you all frequently. Such a difficult time of year to be in this situation. The joy that others feel can sometimes magnify your grief. I don't know why that is.

Just a word to what you were feeling earlier. If you were a bad mother, you would not have this website, be writing what you are writing, or feeling what you are feeling. Exhaustion can sometimes make you think strange things.

I am thinking about you all and wishing you peace. I will check back when I can.


12:10 PM  
Blogger Libbys Blog said...

So glad another hurdle has been cleared. As mothers we find strength from amazing places. It is now more important that you keep strong, so sleep , as well as you can, eat, find some time for you, even if its just having a scented bath, don't feel guilty for finding just a bit of time for yourself. Mark is going to need you more than ever for quite a little while yet.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Dale Smith said...

Dear Darlene,

Right now you cannot imagine how you are going to get through the next days and weeks but know that you CAN get through the next 15 minutes. Break your day down into those manageable 15 minute time slots and see if that helps to give you more a sense of empowerment and control. You and your son sound as if you have a powerful connection and your love will help heal him.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Britt said...

two words: boho, you. there is something about your family that is charismatic, sensual and beautiful. after reading boho's blog for some time, i was led to yours after this awful tragedy. i felt like you could be any amazing woman in my own life, and i felt for you deeply. you and boho have a way of connecting people and drawing them in. i also marvel at how technology drew all of this together. (still praying...but very happy for the good news on mark's recovery)

12:19 PM  
Blogger Mary Timme said...

Oh, my heart is still in my throat. You have displayed great strength for your son, and much will be required of you. But he is mending. Thank God! I'm still praying for you all! Even when I can't make blogger work for me and can't check in.

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

This all touched me because of the way you write about your son, your love for him. But also the fact that he's my age. It somehow feels closer like that. It could happen to anyone and leaving a comment is the least I can do if it helps you :)

Glad to hear the good news. I'll keep you in my prayers.

xo Sophie

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a difference a day makes! I'm just so, so happy to read of this turn in his health and prognosis. (I tried posting earlier, btw, but it wouldn't allow me to. Not sure if others had similar problems.) I know that your son's accident touched me for two specific reasons. One, he is your son and I have grown to care about you and your life through your heartfelt sharing and writing and you have shared often how deeply you love and are close to your children. Two, it could just as easily have been someone I love, or me, or both, and it is a brutal reminder of how precious life is, and if I were going through this, I would pray people would make sure I didn't have to go through the hell of it all alone. Thinking of you and so, so happy for you. Happy isn't quite a strong enough word in this situation, is it? ( : Blessings and love, ALexandra G (Marvelous Madness- still can only post under "Anonymous"

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Sam said...

If were at work, I would write your son's name on a Post It note, here at home I will have to write it on my heart and send prayers whenever you pop into my mind. I'm so glad things are getting better. You have been so brave and strong and a remarkable mother, what every one of wants for our mothers to be, what everyone of us hopes we can do for our own kids. I've recently found out I'm pregnant with my first child, and so my heart is so tender and breaks with the thought of how you must be feeling now. I'll be sure to pray for you and the whole family, too -

1:40 PM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

i created a special FUZZIECHADSRULE VOTE today for MARK.

i love you, and hope all your viewers will continue to come to your site and help support your family.

this is jes my little way of helping too.

Maybe you can print it out somehow and he can read it...?

hugs and more...

~ Bronxbt

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really bad with words, but know that I'll be sending my prayers your way. I'm so glad to hear Mark is looking better, and I hope he continues to live in your love.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

THANKK GOD D I am so happy I prayed through his surgery as it is earlier here I rallied people on the phone my pastors who are my family. This trluly is a miracle. Mark is our christmas miracle. He is our Prayers and thoughts. You my love are the epitomy of a Selfless mother and freiend to share this with us.I am just so happy (still crying) but in awe of Marks strentgh. (and yours)
Loving you Shaz xxx

2:48 PM  
Blogger Jerri said...

Why have people responded in this way? Can only speak for myself, but it is the oh-so-obvious love you have for your son and your openness to the support and concern of others.

Amber and Liz, whose blogs introduced me to you and Mark, are women I admire and respect. That they had such concern and love for you, it was clear you must be special. Reading your words, your thoughts and descriptions, I could see it was true, that you are a special woman.

Your love for your child is particular to you and universal to us all. Praying for you and Mark, holding the two of you in the LIght, we are also praying for ourselves and our own children.

Again, thank you for continuing to let us know how you and Mark are doing. Blessings be to you and yours.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Ah, I know why I cry and whimper reading your story. It's the intense emotions, love and fear that comes through. It's that fear that we empathize with.

For me, it brings back memories of my time with my father. Granted, mine was different, cancer, but the fear, hope and love was still there.

I'm so very glad that such progress has been made for you and your family. Luck, spirit, love be with you.

3:20 PM  
Blogger BJ said...

Darlene - Came here via Amber. I have been reading for a couple of days. I have done nothing but think about Mark and your family. I have cried each time and my heart was breaking for your sadness. Because there is nothing stronger than a mothers love. This update is a confirmation that our Lord answers prayers. I will continue to keep Mark in my prayers. And a prayer for you that you will continue to gain strength to get you through each day more easily. God bless.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my best to you and your family -- your love will keep him strong.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Granny K said...

Darlene, as a mother of two I feel your pain. I've prayed for Mark and yourself and for your family. Now I humbly give thanks for prayers answered.
May the good Lord give you strength and courage for the days to come. I know you'll both make it.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous kittnz84 said...

i heard of your horrific trauma via bronxbt and immediately had to wish you all my love and support --i read thru your postings and you truly are a kind, beautiful woman with a heart that will have the power to keep him strong.

you and your family are in my prayers.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Michelle O'Neil said...

Unity Prayer for Protection

The light of God surrounds you.

The love of God enfolds you.

The power of God protects you.

And the presence of God watches over you.

Wherever you are, God is.

......and Mark is well.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

It touched me, because of YOU, Darlene. Because you have shown me over and over what a kind and loving person you are,when you have reached out to me in your comments. Times when I have hurt, or shared something painful.
It meant a lot to me.

And also, because I have a little son. My worst fear is to be in your shoes, right now. And becaue you have spoken so highly of Mark in the past, and I love a good man! The world needs men like that! To lose one...What a loss to us all.

...And also, because I know. I know what a sudden horrible car accident is like. I know how suddenly and violently everything changes. I know about death, and pain because of it. Hell, even today my old back pain is acting up... I hurt everytime I hear of another person going through that. I cheer when another person survives it, too!

...And because, I don't really beleive in accidents. Who knows why Mark? Why you? Why now? But I tend to think that God can use any circumstance. I tend to beleive that Mark has important work here, and this trauma will make him more ready for it. I tend to think that many small miracles may have come from this, that we have yet to see!

And you can bet your ass warfare was happening! All those prayers and words and thoughts of light! Imagine what the world could be, if we used that power more often.

Love to you and all your family.


4:14 PM  
Blogger Shaz said...

I tend to come back here maybe ten times a day I am just laying around so my thoughts and prayers are wholely and soully on you guys and Mark.
I just reread your last update and I feel the question of why that you ask could have probably be answered better by someone who writes more eloquently than me but the answer is a simple one.
YOU and Your Love,
Mark and HIS Strength.
We all appreciate how much time you take out for us indvidually and we all feel as though you are family so family hurts for family and ralleys for them no matter where in the world they are.
Strangers on the other hand would find it hard not to feel the bond and strength of the union of you and your baby and that is abundently clear and touching to all who visit.
We love you D and we hurt with you in our own way because your worth it. xxxxx

4:15 PM  
Blogger Pam Aries said...

You don't know me..i am a Glitter sister and your story was shared by one of our members. Please know that I am joining in on the chain of healing vibes being sent to your son, Mark! This season seems to have been a very bad one for a lot of dear folks. My prayers are with you and I am adding a candle to my blog for Mark. Pam Aries

4:19 PM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

Mark's story touched me because I read you and Boho's blog regularly and I'm a mama myself. Car accidents are by far, my biggest and worst fear and I could hear your words loud and clear.
I'm so relieved to hear that Mark is past this huge hurdle, things will be tough but this is truly the best Christmas gift around. xo

4:19 PM  
Blogger k said...

i've been following mark's story. my brother was hit by a car in 1987, and your stories bring me back to that time, vividly. there is no training for what you, mark, and your family are going through but if there ever is, i think you could be the teacher. my brother now has a severe brain injury but he is alive and i can only be thankful for that. now so many years later, my mom just shakes and head and wonders how the hell she made it through the first few critical days and weeks. we all went through so much but i know her journey was the most difficult, the most challenging, and raw. we children are so lucky to have a mother's love like yours. take care of yourself, remind yourself of what you need to replenish your reserves. you are the one to continue to pull mark and your family through this ordeal.
my continued prayers for mark and your family.
ps...i work in a hospital (coincidentally on a surgical spine unit)and generally speaking, no news from the doctors is good news or atleast "status quo" also, don't ever feel guilty for questioning the always need to put mark and yourselves first.

4:24 PM  
Blogger ~Bek~ said...

It has touched me... as all your posts do. I feel as if you write how we would all be feeling in the same situation.

You speak a universal language of love and fear, courage and strength.

I know Mark is going to get through this - and be stronger than ever.

I believe.
In love, in friendship, in prayers and postitive thought.

4:26 PM  
Blogger deni said...

I continue to pray for Mark, and for you and your family.

I am so glad that things went as well as they did with his surgery, an answer to prayer for sure.

I think you are having Christmas, the shared love, and a wonderful miracle that Mark has made it this far.

4:39 PM  
Blogger Lisa(oceandreamer) said...

I had to comment again because there was yet a new update. My husband got home from work and I read him the one from this morning as I was on your site when he came in. I then read through tears the update and again your relief was palpable. My husband said by the fact that Mark got himself out and up that canal, called for help was a testament to this mans will to survive.I believe that too. My husband asks every day whether you had posted anything new. You are getting double the intense healing thoughts and prayers from us.
Still holding your hand and sending love.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

Darlene, i am so pleased that your family has had some positive news, even though there will be many challenges ahead.

Mark's story would've touched anyone who knew nothing of you or your family but having had the pleasure of reading your words and your sister's for some time it was imposssible not to feel a deep concern and sadness for the pain that you are all going through.

but i also felt that that boy is in good hands. you're the best medicine he could want for and a wonderful role model.

best wishes,

5:40 PM  
Anonymous schmoopy said...


I found your blog via Deni and as someone who desperately wants to be a mother, I just connected to your story and the bond you share with your family.

Blogs are a way of connecting to people, people you don't know and what an amazing thing to have so may people be there for you and Mark in such a powerful way.

Mark sounds like an amazing young man and I would give plenty of that credit to his mother who also sounds amazing.

Take good care,

6:24 PM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Darlene, Mark's story touched me so deeply because as a Mother my worst nightmare has always been something happening to my children (now adults, but the fear never goes away)Your fear and heartache was palpable. Your telling of how Mark dragged himself out of that canal and called you tore my heart out.I check your site several times a day, and give my husband progress reports. Isn't that wonderful..PROGRESS reports..! And I can't read them aloud because I begin to cry.
The power of prayer..if I ever had any doubt..has been proven to me.So many supplications had to be heard, from all around the world.
God bless you both.
And in this season of miracles Mark is certainly a miracle.

6:33 PM  
Blogger deirdre said...

I'm so glad Mark is doing better. Your relief comes through so clearly. And I'm glad you shared these days with us and let yourself be held in the circle that came together so beautifully.

Why did this touch me? Because I know the horror of seeing someone I love suffer terribly and not being able to do one damn thing about it. I learned during my sister's illness that people are good and it was one of the gifts that came from unthinkable circumstances.

This tribe we are is powerful.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

b/sisterhoes, please accept my prayers, energy and wishes for things to turn out positively for you all.

I am sorry to learn of this terrible event in your life.

Mark will come through this as he is supposed to, and you will find great relief.

I will check back from time to time to learn of your progress.

Bronx/bt asked me to stop by, and I am glad that he did. We need to have others do the same so I will spread the word.

May peace and love be with you all.

Take care of yourself so you can better serve Mark.

7:22 PM  
Anonymous Claire NZ said...

I'm so glad for your positive news. I know you said you would be passing on xmas, but food and presents aside, I think you are celebrating the very best of what xmas is: acknowledging and appreciating that which is important and valuable to you in life. You could maybe even take a breathe now Darlene - it wouldn't suprise me if you've been holding your breath all this time.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Karen Travels said...

I won't be able to comment for a while, I am leaving tomorrow, but my heart and thoughts will still be with you and Mark throughout my travels.

I wrote down your web address so I can read updates from friend's computers along the way!

I can't explain why this event has touched me the way it has. I did read your blog, and Denise's blog, beforehand. It's just an amazing community that I am very new to, but that did not stop me from rooting for Mark from the get go!

And I keep rooting...

7:41 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

though i don't know you, my thoughts are with you - we are both mothers of sons so we do, in many ways, know the shape of love and what it means when our babies, regardless of how old or how big, are hurt.

so when i light my christmas candles i will think of you and your son mark and your family and send you as much love and good energy as i can.

8:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a lighter note...

I called my sons to sit down beside me and showed the pic of MArk..(My sons are 17 and 15) my hubz' joined us in reading here as I open my computer and go straight to your blog..first thing they say is that Mark must be some movie star...or a famous model...

Having sons I somehow have an idea of how terrible terrible it is to feel what you do right now...and Marks story..and YOURS...give me strength..teaches me so much about family..about how to be strong...about survival...So many lessons of life...even for my two sons..

This story is the most appropriate and relevant Christmas story for these turmoiled times we live in...It's not about material gifts or food...or feeling fakely happy....for a few days..

you didn't skip on christmas at all..nope...

you... your family is what the true meaning of christmas is.....

you gave that to all of us...

the only thing my family can give back are our prayers...and love..

Thank you very much...



( simplylux@blogspot)

8:45 PM  
Blogger dd said...


I know this has touched me so much because I'm a mother and I have four sons all in their 20's. I can't imagine going through this and on one hand, it makes me take the time to appreciate their health, and the love that surrounds us with family and friends.

Seeing the pictures of Mark and knowing a little about you through the blog, I can't help but be affected in some way and want so much for this young man to heal up perfectly and pain-free. I have had traumas in life, through family members and what it does to the whole family is such a painful ordeal.

I think all of us can relate to seeing someone we love hurting and in pain, especially those first days of not knowing exactly what was going to happen.

I just so pray and hope that each day gets better and better for you all and for Mark.

I don't think I'll ever look at my boys again without the thought in my mind that what you are going through, any of us could be.

This week, my son lost a friend in a car accident and the funeral was today. He was taken instantly.

Will continue to pray and hold you all in my thoughts for the best outcome.


9:32 PM  
Blogger Brown eyed girl said...

Thank you Luxie!!! That is EXACTLY how I am feeling. I tried to leave an additional comment yesterday (*blogger trouble) saying this: This accident, you sharing so boldly every detail you could and this incredible community of bloggers have changed me. Not only have I cried for you and Mark, I have cried at the response here in comment-land! Beauty and love like no words I can come up with have flowed on these pages in amazing ways. I too, am touched so deeply on how so many have been touched over this incident. It just proves to me that a spirit world exists, connections that are there, that we didn't put there. YOU AND MARK have changed my Christmas this year! I've been moved in many ways that have affected my attitude on life, family, stress, and priorities this week. By the testimony of so many here, I see I'm not alone in this. Jodi and I talk a couple of times a day about you guys, I'm always checking for updates, I have Mark's beautiful picture on my blog, and I even had a dream with you in it last night! I cannot begin to explain it- I ditto what others have said so far, the commonalities, the compassion, your rawness, the miracles, etc. But I believe this one is supernatural!!! I love you and your family. I with Luxie agree that this will be the most powerful Christmas your family will have. NO, not traditional material things kinda day-- the gift and redempemtion kinda day, one that no earthly thing can ever come close to emulating!
P.S. My dream was me showing up at your house to be with you, and as I arrived so did 'JanePoe'. She was a beautiful lady, and said she had just arrived too. You were in your kitchen and we joined you. This is so strange....I have no idea who JanePoe is besides seeing her comment here...I think I should go find her blog:)

9:57 PM  
Blogger Frida World said...

Over the past twelve months my family has learned the power of love and faith of a family whether a blood family or an extended family like this bogger tribe surrounding you, Denise, Mark and your whole family.

We've had our own Marc survive against all odds and against the opinion of his doctors. I've been using that experience to strengthen my prayers for your Mark.

I believe that your love, faith and strength - multiplied by all the people who have been touched by it and sent it back to you - has been a powerful force and I am soooooo happy to read your latest posts.

Thanks for making the time to let us know the news amidst everything else you need to be doing now (including resting!). We are all thinking of you and praying for you so it is great to have news.

(I'm another arrival from Boho's blog)

10:21 PM  
Anonymous josie said...

I have been reading your blog since boho told us of the news. I guess I feel touched by your posts beacuse I feel your hurt, anger, sadness and the glimour of joy in your posts. I am sending my love and prayers from Victoria, Australia
Josie xoxox

12:01 AM  
Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

Im touched by both you and Mark for different reasons. With Mark, I've been in his shoes, in such a terrible accident, I feel his pain and my heart goes out to him ... with you .. you remind me of my mum, of her love for me, how she put herself to one side to devote her life to me. You are a devoted mother indeed and I know this is a hard time for you, but I do thank you for sharing and allowing us to hopefully help in some little way :-)

O and the security blanket, I have the same ... I lost my mum in Feb of this year, I sleep under the blanket which covered her when she passed, I sleep in the bed she lay in ... its only natural for us I think, these things are the last real life thing that touched our loved ones, not these hospital gowns, tubes and stuff, but things, clothes that we maybe bought for them or even loved to see them wearing, it has the smell of them, its comforting ... thats what I feel anyway.

Take care and god bless you all X

12:02 AM  
Blogger Laini said...

Darlene, one of the first things I did this morning was check your site -- I was so relieved to hear the surgery went well! As for your question, why has this touched ME -- I think it's really because of YOU. Because he is YOUR son, and because your beautiful spirit shines through on your blog, because your whole family, Denise, your parents as shared by both you and Denise, your smiling daughter, seem so kind and beautiful -- that Mark MUST be like that too. For so many of us this blogging connection is new, this way of getting a glimpse into new friends' lives. Usually it's the average every-day things we see. But to see a family like yours shaken by something so tragic and scary, it shakes us all. It could be anyone, at any moment. We all live in fear that terrible things might at any moment happen to our loved ones -- there's the sense of luck if one has NOT faced such a crisis in one's own family. So I pray that your family comes through it okay, so there might be many more pictures of Mark taken, smiling that big smile, for years to come, and for the hope that your story offers that other families might be so lucky that their sons might live, too. To think good things come to good people. I can't capture what I want to say -- but I AM incredibly touched by this, and so full of hope for Mark.

12:25 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

I have sat here and cried over your posts. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I don't know what else to say.

12:41 AM  
Blogger AnnieElf said...

Wonderful news Darlene. We all continue to join hands in prayer. Every thought is a prayer.

1:33 AM  
Blogger Adrianne said...

I am sorry to hear about what you and your son are going through, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Haveing had many stays in the hospital myself, I understand your frutration with the nurses. They aren't being mean or thoughtless, they're just doing their job, which is to take care of your son. They are not supposed to answer your questions, that is for the doctors to do, they are the ones with answers.

I understand about needing a security blanket, you will hold on to it for as long as you need to, don't let anyone keep you from haveing it.

Where there is life, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is love.

1:39 AM  
Anonymous Paris Parfait said...

I learned about your terrible ordeal on Deborah's (Jane Poe's) blog and I am so sorry you and Mark and your family are having to endure these difficulties. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Wishing you strength and courage now and in the days ahead.

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Kim in IN said...

I am crying tears of joy for your precious son, Darlene! He is strong and determined,full of life.
Please don't forget to take care of YOU.
Blessings from one mama to another.....
Kim in IN.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous AscenderRisesAbove said...

I have visited many times without words to leave behind; other then I am reading and praying and hoping for health for him and peace of mind for you.

9:26 AM  
Blogger maggiegracecreates said...

You asked why this touched me. Because at 15 I was standing in the hall as someone told us my Dad did not make it through his accident. Because I am a mother. Because I fear this kind of news myself. Because God has given me the grace to communicate with him and that is a powerful tool. Because I care about you. My mom used to say this and I never understood. JUST BECAUSE you needed our prayer, love, and support.

6:03 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

I am a relatively new mom; my daughter is 18 mos old. Becoming a mother has completely rocked my world, especially in the area of empathy and compassion. I love her like i never knew possible, and I am fiercely protective of her. I know you understand this. Part of the reason your story touches me so deeply is because I am watching you live out my and every mother's greatest fear: that something will happen to my baby. As I read your words, I am practically white-knuckled. I weep at every update, a mixture of joy, hope and fear and sadness, and I understand the rawness, the EXTREME distress you are feeling. Not because I have been there, but because it is my ultimate nightmare.

I know that people are hurt and suffering all over the world and that every one of those people is someone's baby - but it's easy to forget/ignore. It gets crowded out by all the things we think are problems: getting the Christmas shopping finished, not having enough money, fighting with the spouse, etc. Being reminded is a GIFT. Reading your story has given me the HUGE gift of being able to say to myself: These things I call problems are NOT problems. I can handle these things. I'm alive, my baby is alive, my family is alive and well. I will get over myself and put my mental/spiritual energy attention on someone who really needs it.

I wish you and your sweet boy and your wonderful family were not going through this. But because you are so generous in sharing what you're going through, you are modeling the possibility of COURAGE, STRENGTH and DEVOTION under unbearable circumstances. You are a true story - not a "what if..." - of someone breathing through a living nightmare. With courage, strength, devotion and love. Thank you.

I have been following boho's adventures for awhile and I just adore your family, even though we've never met. I had never even heard of Mark before this, but I feel deep compassion for him, for his physical suffering, his fear and confusion. And I feel great empathy toward you, especially, because I identify with your mother's heart.

No denying it will be hard, but I am envisioning more and more healing and joy and laughter every day for you and yours. Much love, mama. xoxo

4:51 PM  

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