Not Out of the Woods Yet

First, let me say that I am grateful for my husband, my daughter Angela and my son Mark.
I am grateful for that stubborn streak I have, with all of its threads, that attach themselves in a different way, to every area in my life.

~* I fiercely love my family
~* My faith cannot be removed
~* No one can tell me it can't be done

The incredible vigil that my husband has been consistently keeping has been 'super human' and it again confirms, that he is my knight in shinning armor.

My daughter has taken up the slack with grace and deep strength. She has watched her Momma fall apart and her little arms have held me up for 7 full days now. I would be lost without her.

The faithfulness of ALL OF YOU has been life changing. Our entire world has taken some very difficult hard hits this past decade and your display of support (in the midst of the busiest time of the year) has restored my hope in all human beings. I think that you too, have been a witness, as well as a participant, in this phenomenon. I think there really can be peace on this Earth as it is filled with people like you. I am not prepared to celebrate Christmas this year, but I will never forget what Christmas is about and regardless of the outcome of my situation, I have been given the greatest gift of all..........you!

Update #12~ Mark still has a fever, but it has gone down a pinch. He is still loosing blood, but less than yesterday. Today he had a CT Scan of his head for his severe delirium. He had an ultra sound in his left groin area to check for blood clots. If it shows positive, Mark will have surgery to install a net to keep any clots from traveling to his heart or lungs.
I was leery to go and see him today, not wanting to upset him and disrupt any possible healing. My husband said that we are not out of the woods yet and if anything were to happen, I would forever regret not seeing him, even if it were for just a moment. I got dressed and went to the hospital.

I entered the room and quietly walked to his side. I rubbed his '5 O'clock shadow' cheek and whispered, "Hi my love, mommas here." He opened his eyes and focused on my face. He peacefully closed his eyes and let me rub his forehead. Then the agitation began and my husband said I better go. Mark said, "Nnnnooo I want these things off of my arms. I ddoon't want to be tied down. Ddoon't go mom." The nurse came in and started scolding him for struggling with the straps and moving around. He then said,

"Ddoon't go, I waaant tttoo huuug mmmy moooom!"

He wanted to hug me.....HE wanted to HUG me?.....HE WANTED TO HUG ME!!!

They untied his arms, put down the side bar and I gently fell into his neck and chest. His big man arms encircled me and he held me tight. I took a deep breath of my sons scent and with as much strength as possible I kept telling him over and over that I loved him. He had to be told to let go of me...and again he asked me not to go. I did and I stopped just outside his door and shook from head to toe. My eyes misted over and I smiled. I felt like I had just received my first kiss and the peace that washed over me was tangible.

I fell silent all the way home, closed my eyes and relived that blessed moment over and over again. I will dream that moment, I will wake up to that moment and I will press that moment into the most precious memory of my life.

We don't have the energy to celebrate, but I was given the greatest gift of all...the purest love from a son, to his momma.