Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Self-Portrait Challenge ~Imperfections~

I ask you to value...

Oh, I had so many plans, plans that no one knew about. Yes, I was a dreamer, I got in trouble all the time in grade school for day~dreaming. One time in college I had a professor walk right up to me during his lecture, while still speaking, he stopped right in front of me, glared me down and then cleared his throat. Where was I? Somewhere else making history.

Marrying young, having children right away, neither of those things discouraged me from dreaming and making new dreams. Everytime I learned something new, "I want to do that, hey, I'm going to do that!" and I would. Ask any of my family members how aggressively I attack learning to create, picking up a new task, or saving money for something I want. Nothing could douse my love of being a dreamer, except for one thing, my health. I lost it in 1995 and for many years it stole the essence of who I was and I'm still not the dreamer I used to be, tragedy does that to you. I'm slowly figuring out who 'limited' me is, but this process has taken years to figure out. I lost my career and a whole lot of abilities that used to make me feel invincible. Slowly, I'm gaining ground...very very slowly. And I'm making peace with this process.

When I heard the portrait challenge subject was imperfections, I groaned. I'm working hard to perfect the lost area's of my life, so I thought I would take this opportunity to ask something of you that is the opposite of living with an incurable decease....and that is to value your good health. Be grateful for it and be a dreamer and after you dream, then do whatever your heart desires. Take a chance, jump off that cliff, shut out the doubters and the unbelievers that say, "You can't do that?" Oh yes you can. Where there's a will...there's a way. I don't get to have good health, but you do and I get to read about all of the amazing things you do, all of the cliffs that you jump off of and I smile and laugh and genuinely feel so happy when you accomplish a dream goal. I was on that bike riding challenge with bek, I live in the UK with bb and I'm writing that novel with Susannah. So go out and do something wonderfully crazy and then come back and tell me about it....I love all the stories you tell me and I feel them, thank you :D


Blogger Shaz said...

I know how hard you have to work at admitting limitations, bad health isnt just about being sick is it.I would have loved to have known the healthy you, but I also think that your spirit shines so bright under your cloud of illness and knowing how you feel myself you need to know from me you are an inspiration, your beautiful words and kind comments always make my day a little brighter. I appreciate you and your new journey.
Shazz xoxoxo

12:42 AM  
Blogger Susannah said...

we all inspire each other, don't we, and share in the highs and lows - one of the gifts of blogging. you are a strong woman, D - i believe there is nothing you can't do when you put your mind to it! xo

2:28 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I cannot imagine what it must have felt like to have your entire life, everything that you had built into the dreamy sky, come crashing down in an instant. I'm ashamed to admit that my health is something that I take for granted everyday.

I find so much strength and beauty in your words. I love how you're able to tell us about an awful day, but end it with a twist of beauty and sunshine.

Everything in your life, including that damn Lupus, has shaped you into an incredible woman.

I love you!

7:55 AM  
Blogger bb said...

I'm going to keep on writing my stories, and keep you guessing which details are the embellishments ;-)
And if you're living in the U.K. do you fancy meeting up for a coffee tomorrow? I'll save a place for you during my morning cafe visit before work - just in case you find the time...
i'm with Susannah - I still believe you have the nous to carry out your most important dreams...
love to a fellow dreamer x x x x x

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're so strong, such an inspiration. Please know that your readers take so much from your honest words.

Thank you for sharing.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

You are employing my favorite weapon against this disease, mind over matter. You are living your life and learning to reshape your world to always include beauty and inspiration. You are inspiring and beautiful.

10:13 AM  
Blogger red sun said...

Your words are such an inspiration to living the dreams that we all wish we could reach... no matter how unattainable they might seem. We lift each other to reach those dreams through our writing and sharing. Thank you for reminding me of this. And thank you for dreaming.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is incredible, darlene. this is such beauty and stregnth distilled into words - your ability to touch people, i truly believe is why blogs were invented.

12:26 PM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

you may have physical limitations but you certainly make up for them with your huge spirit...and that is as inspirational as something any of the rest of us might be able to do with our health...

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although I'm just getting to know you, I can tell you are not a woman to be deterred from something she wants. You have a flame burning within that could light up the blog universe! Keep using it to brighten our paths and enrich our lives through your words.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Kim G. said...

Hi there! As a new visitor to your blog it sounds more like the changes in your life may have limited you in some ways, but it seems that you have plenty of creativity and love for life left within you to reshape those dreams. Thanks for sharing this post - it was very encouraging. Today has been a tough day and it's good to have the reminder to be thankful for our dreams and the ability to pursue them.

3:00 PM  
Blogger Goddess of Leonie said...

you are crazy wonderful.

thank you for this reminder, beautiful.


4:25 PM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

You are a blessed soul. You have shared so much of yourself, and have given me personally so much inspiration and encourgement. You are a light we all should follow and model ourselves after.

Being in this blog world is making me a stronger person to go out there and to try and accomplish my dreams. It is people like you that give me that.

Thank you and always know you have a grateful friend here!

Love ya!

5:55 PM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

Here for the first time and already feeling at home. There is much in your story that I recognize as my own.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've been lurking around here and soaking up your wisdom for a while. you emanate such strength. thank you for this!

8:06 PM  
Blogger Deb R said...

That was a wonderful and insightful post and I love the photo. (I noticed the scarf and the fabo brooch on the jean jacket, just like you mentioned in yesterday's post.)

9:17 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

I'm still a DREAMER Darlene!!! and I don't thank GOD every day for my health but I should!!! I do pray every day! BTW, my gram is all good! Phew! Hope you're feeling like a StaRBUCKS today! or tomorrow! Haven't had mine yet!! Sweet Dreams!! xo ps. I like bluejean jackets too! It's exactly 2AM!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ

11:07 PM  

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