Friday, August 25, 2006

Words with Eyes

It was a
black and white

and I was skipping around, making visits from one blog to another and my eyes glanced over to a profile quote and 'it' happened. The words glared at me with a sneer and sarcasm slapped me in the face with blinding force. "Think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived." ~ Anna Quindlen

Let me first say that I am not judging the person who chose this quote, so please find no offence in my analysis of these words. I honor the author and the point she is clearly stating; appreciate your life, don't take it for granted, live with passion. All wise words that we should allow our lives to emulate. What I am proposing, is how I was effected, at the moment of reading them.

The loveliness of the words disintegrated and the harsh reality did a number on my soul. Words like; terminal illness, incurable decease and unpredictable outcome, have this jolting affect that grab my attention as I gaze at any literature containing them. I am reading through a glass darkly and on this particular day was in a foul mood. I temporarily felt distaste towards the person who authored those words and mocked their meaning, that I felt were misunderstood. But, the beauty is in the first word of the quote, "Think."

Not to actually live with, but to think of, because to live with a terminal illness, joy and passion are privileges that one has to earn, work hard for and foster unnaturally. I cried angry tears at Ms. Quindlen's well meant words. They were not kind to me, did not offer me comfort and I couldn't nod my head with understanding wisdom. Instead they made me feel like a misunderstood child that received a harsh punishment for a crime that I did not commit. Yes, I often feel like a child, helpless and with an opinion that is to be seen and not heard. I cried and I turned away from the screen to hide my tears from the words. I animated them and let their squinting eyes penetrate the side of my face that still stung from their slap.

When the episode finished, it was I who turned back to them, forcing the authors intentional meaning to transform the disgruntled figure back into the wisdom of good advice. I wiped my tears and turned off my computer. I needed a moment to recover from the hard blow, needing some color to wash over my black and white day.


Anonymous poet said...

a dark day indeed. i'm sorry. i wish i understood more. take care and i hope that tomorrow is a bit brighter for you. poet

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

I think she should have just stated her point as easily as you said "appreciate your life, don't take it for granted, live with passion." That explains it all. No other words are necessary.

Bright blessings to you today sweet one. Love you!!


6:17 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

Ignorance is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Sorry this hurt you, Dar.

Yes...embrace the color now. You know the truth.

I love you,
your baby sis

12:18 AM  
Blogger Bek said...

Its okay to feel these dark moods at times.
You are well entitled...
I agree with Teresa's words.
I wish you were here today... come along to my scrap day *grin*.
I wish...I wish... I wish.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...


8:38 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Hugs. That quote is horrible on so many levels - as if a terminal illness is something that you can take lightly.

Kisses, lovely...

11:11 PM  
Blogger bb said...

yes, teresa's words are wise.
love to you, sweetness.
hope more colour finds its way to wash over you today,

love bb x x x

7:17 AM  
Blogger Alexandra G said...

You really are right and I don't know that I would have given that quote more thought if you so eloquently hadn't expressed yourself as you did. Its a luxury to not have a terminal illness or an illness that brings one's mortality into the forefront of each day. We shouldn't use words lightly. I, too, get annoyed by some of the more "new agey" comments that display an ignorance for many of the harsh realities too many are dealt.
I hope your spirit is feeling better-sending you a hug!

8:16 AM  

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