Thursday, August 31, 2006

Understanding



Sometimes we question things that happen in our lives. We all do it. Some of them are about really big things, when the order of life throws you a fast unexpected curve ball and you have to do some deep emotional or spiritual seeking to regain lost peace over a sudden change.


Other times the things we question are just small things. Things that are only important to you and no one else. Maybe it's the timing, or the getting or not getting of something. Sometimes it happened today instead of tomorrow and ruined your day.

Yesterday I had one of those days. It was my wedding Anniversary and we had a fabulous dinner out and we were radiant with the sharing and reminiscing of our love and memories. Back at home, by 9 p.m. my husband was calling 911 because of a severe quick onset of a Lupus flare that caused me to loose consciousness. A lovely evening that ended with an ambulance ride to the hospital, my husband fearful that he was loosing me, being kept up for over 24 hours with tests and waiting and then being sent home pumped up with the safest limit of morphine only to still be in bone breaking pain. This is all much harder on my husband and children than it is me. I am used to the pain, they will never get used to 'seeing' the pain.

I ask not to be pitied, because I have made peace with my big questions. But you can feel temporary frustration along with me, because my small questions often still get asked and go unanswered. In bed for the next couple of days, I will take the time to make peace with the small as well as the big. I thank you for the love ahead of time, my friends and angels :)

13 Comments:

Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

i am soooo sorry to hear what has happened Darlene! I HOPE Jay gets some rest too! I will be saying some prayers for YOU and your family! Sweet Dreams sweetie, I'm going to bed in a sec, know that I am praying for YOU!!! ((((Darlene&Jay&all your loved ones))))))

10:54 PM  
Blogger bb said...

Wow, I never imagined this post after seeing your utterly radiant pictures in your last post.

love to you, your bravery, your honesty. wishing you health and happiness x x x x x

(p.s. i'm thinking of our travels together with scraps of poetry, scribbles, sketches and doodles oozing everywhere from our purses and pockets :-))

1:03 AM  
Blogger Bek said...

Sweets... I hope you god my email.
I love you.
And sending you love, cuddles and kisses.
Bx

2:18 AM  
Blogger Bek said...

That would be "got"... anyways.
Bx

2:19 AM  
Blogger my pink sky said...

your bravery and beauty are unbelievably inspiring darlene...hope the painful waves subside soon. love and hugs to you and your sweet ones.

5:07 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

That sounds really hard on everyone. We have a similar issue in our household, though we've never had such an acute event. Good luck!

Andrew
To Love, Honor and Dismay

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

My heart is heavy imagining you lying unconscious. Your husband is your hero in many ways, yes? I truly believe that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, it's just some days he could loosen those burdens a bit.

You are a very strong, courageous, beautiful woman who has been such an inspiration to me especially, knowing that you suffer as you do and you are so awesome through it all. You are teaching us all so much.

Blessings to you! And tell your husband he is way cool for taking such good care of you--one of our favorite bloggie sisters!!

xxxooo
Teresa

10:10 AM  
Blogger Susannah said...

oh baby, i'm sending healing gentle light to you, in the hope it soothes your pain. i wish i was there to make you cups of tea and stroke your forehead and tell you i love you..... x

1:10 PM  
Blogger Romina Bacci said...

ohhh sweetie i am so sorry...
i hope you can make peace with those questions, i guess that pain is making you more beautiful every day, you are gifted my dear... you are the angel..... :)

i - love - you

3:12 PM  
Blogger Laini said...

It makes me so sad to think of your health being such a fragile thing! You look so beautiful and happy in your anniversary picture -- and to think you had to spend the night at the hospital -- I'm so sorry.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

There is so much beauty and strength here that I forget that you're struggling with your health. You are truly an inspiration, love. And I'm sorry for being absent here. Life is just...you know.

I love you, Darlene.

12:33 AM  
Blogger Alexandra G said...

I'm just catching up on your blog having had a guest the last few days. No pity as thats not what you want or need but just sending you love and prayers and cyber hugs as I can only imagine how hard that must have been for all of you, and all the more so on your anniversary. Its times like this I dearly wish we all lived in the same community so we could come and visit and help you out however you need.

10:09 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

oh my dear girl i have been so out of touch. thoughts of you drift into my mind every now and then when i think about my blogging tribe...little did i know how important sending you little bits of joy and energy whenever i think of you was on this day.

i am so glad you are okay.
many blessings to you,
liz

7:21 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home