Wednesday, August 02, 2006

"Looking Beyond the Film"

~I have accepted Liz's meditation call to our bloggie world. Looking into the mirror and really gazing at yourself. Saying positive things...thinking positive thoughts and concentrating on the uniqueness of myself. Many of you took up this challenge and I am hoping to hear how this is churning around in all of your beings. For me (?) I am having a rough time...

~I have always been critical and hard on myself, both internally and externally. Part of this comes from my natural birth order (the famous neurotic 1st born syndrome) and the other part follows under the category of emotional damage, extreme rejection at tender ages, throughout my life. Things so personal, that I can count on one hand the number of people that have the knowledge of all of my truths.

~First, I started with that 'regular view' side of the mirror, without my glasses. "Hey, not too bad for 45." Then I made the horrible mistake of turning the 'REALITY' disc around to that microscope side that ILLUMINATES and (please God) exaggerates your facial attributes. Yikes! My husband uses this side for something that involves his nostrils and I habitually turn it over before my reflection even goes within 2 feet of it. I do this without even a thought, it is a habit of mine, that now has a definition........THE YUCK REACTION!!!

~Every wrinkle, every scar, mole, hair, age spot, pore, vein, even I need to go magnified to the millionth degree! I do not suggest you start with this side of the mirror. Turn away real fast and for heaven's sake, use the regular side. Whew, much better!

~I want to delve deep into my soul to get every possible morsel out of this exercise, honest, I do. And Liz... I have made this commitment and expect you to hold me accountable. I promise to regularly check in with all of you. :) I love my mind~I love my heart~I even love my curvaceousness.....but, do I have to l-o-v-e my warts? *deep breath* I hear you saying YES! right over my shoulder.

~My Mother once told me, "If you ever want to know what you'll look like when you get old, just bend over and look into a mirror." OMG! Have you actually done this Mom?....Nightmarish, something I don't recommend and have never damaged my daughter with THAT tidbit of advice. :)

~So, for all of my bloggie buddies who have also gazed into the wrong side of the mirror today, turn it over and don't put on your glasses....see, you look damn good after all!


Blogger la vie en rose said...

i'm right with ya...gazing in the mirror too...

9:31 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

beautiful sis.

all i see is beautiful...

love you.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Susannah said...

I see a beautiful powerful woman.... i think it is so important that we are all doing this.. so so important... love you x

11:47 AM  
Blogger brittany said...

I think you're beautiful.

I don't know if I could do this excersize...

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

Hilarious about the bending over thing...don't think I will try that anytime soon. Your mirror picture is just gorgeous. You said something that is staying with me, which is you "love your mind", I would love to feel that way. I think after these next few months are over I will feel that way too.
Keep inspiring me!!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

Going on a little vacation Darling Darlene!! I'll be thinking of YOU! I'll be playing catch-up next week to seeeeeeeeeeeeee what you've been into! Your marmie is Funny! Phew! Love and prayers to YOU and Yours!!! xooxoox

8:13 PM  
Blogger Laini said...

Wonderful, warts & all! Extreme self-love. It's kind of like when I think about my life -- there are things I wish I didn't do, but I know those things, just as much as the things I'm proud of, brought me to where I am now, and I wouldn't change now, so I can't change anything that came before now. There's a short story by Nathaniel Hawthorne about some mad scientist who is obsessed by his beautiful wife's one imperfection (a mole or something) and devises a way of "curing" her, and in doing so, kills her. Ugh, how gothic. If it were truly so, it would be easier to love our moles and warts!

9:01 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

oh you beautiful woman...thank you for these words. for this encouragement. for this truth.
you are a blessing.

we shall hold each other accountable through it all, being gentle and kind and strong.

(i would love to include you in the little emails i am sending every now and then. if you want to be included just drop me a note. my email is at my blog.)

1:10 AM  

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