"Looking Beyond the Film"

~I have accepted Liz's meditation call to our bloggie world. Looking into the mirror and really gazing at yourself. Saying positive things...thinking positive thoughts and concentrating on the uniqueness of myself. Many of you took up this challenge and I am hoping to hear how this is churning around in all of your beings. For me (?) I am having a rough time...

~I have always been critical and hard on myself, both internally and externally. Part of this comes from my natural birth order (the famous neurotic 1st born syndrome) and the other part follows under the category of emotional damage, extreme rejection at tender ages, throughout my life. Things so personal, that I can count on one hand the number of people that have the knowledge of all of my truths.

~First, I started with that 'regular view' side of the mirror, without my glasses. "Hey, not too bad for 45." Then I made the horrible mistake of turning the 'REALITY' disc around to that microscope side that ILLUMINATES and (please God) exaggerates your facial attributes. Yikes! My husband uses this side for something that involves his nostrils and I habitually turn it over before my reflection even goes within 2 feet of it. I do this without even a thought, it is a habit of mine, that now has a definition........THE YUCK REACTION!!!

~Every wrinkle, every scar, mole, hair, age spot, pore, vein, even buggers....do I need to go on....is magnified to the millionth degree! I do not suggest you start with this side of the mirror. Turn away real fast and for heaven's sake, use the regular side. Whew, much better!

~I want to delve deep into my soul to get every possible morsel out of this exercise, honest, I do. And Liz... I have made this commitment and expect you to hold me accountable. I promise to regularly check in with all of you. :) I love my mind~I love my heart~I even love my curvaceousness.....but, do I have to l-o-v-e my warts? *deep breath* I hear you saying YES! right over my shoulder.

~My Mother once told me, "If you ever want to know what you'll look like when you get old, just bend over and look into a mirror." OMG! Have you actually done this Mom?....Nightmarish, something I don't recommend and have never damaged my daughter with THAT tidbit of advice. :)

~So, for all of my bloggie buddies who have also gazed into the wrong side of the mirror today, turn it over and don't put on your glasses....see, you look damn good after all!