Monday, July 31, 2006

"To Forgive or not to Forgive"

* Blogger would not let me upload a picture*
Two members of this blogging community triggered my subject choice for today's post. I quote Susannah from her post yesterday, "I would write a letter to my father and tell him I forgive him." Then I'll also quote bb from her post, "And then Susannah's last paragraph threw me."
I admire both of these women and they make that a very easy thing to do. I feel smitten by their bright minds, stirring posts and the heart that transcends space and time, through my screen and into my life. I feel this development with other's also and relish in these new relationships that are creating freedom from lingering issues that hold me back from becoming the strong being that I was meant to be. This is a magical process that I am personally experiencing as well as watching it happen in other's. Kudos to all of you for braving these waters and remaining open to change, growth and new love.

So, my subject is forgiveness and my opinion about it's importance in my life. It has been difficult to have serious, life changing experiences and reasons to have to forgive. Everyone eventually is faced with the challenge to forgive, or to have to be forgiven. In my case, the opportunities came early in life and I had to deal with different people and different reasons to extend forgiveness. In truth?.....I didn't forgive for years and I suffered the very pain that I so desperately wanted to inflict on those who had hurt me. My unforgiveness turned into resentment....
"Resentment...that poison that rots the bones
The bones that hold up the skin
The skin that carries the smile
The smile that is a lie
The lie that says... I'm fine"

No one can be forced to forgive. Forgiveness is a journey that is paved with ruts and ditches and holds no honorable acknowledgements. It is a very personal private transition that no one wants to boast about. There are no feelings of accomplishment, just a quiet knowing that humble wisdom now resides along with the pain.
I have forgiven~I choose to forgive today~I will forgive tomorrow

But, you will hear no details.....because wisdoms whispers cannot be heard above pains bellow.


Blogger Bek said...

Okay I am tired.
And just wanting to let you know how much I love your writing.
This post is perfect for how I am feeling today. Each day leading up to today and the last few days particularly.
And you are perfect for giving me the gift of reading your words, your heart, your soul. YOU.
Bless you Darlene.

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

You are so very therapeutic for me. Your writing is very powerful and honest. I am so glad that we have had the opportunity to connect.
I am having to deal with forgiveness to someone who hurt Matt emotionally. My problem is I can forgive, but cannot forget.
Thanks D for your wisdom!

7:53 AM  
Blogger Yolanda said...

I have been on this journey and like you feel it is sometimes best to forgive and go on without listing the specifics as it can hurt those still living. I really enjoy reading your blog as it seems we are at similar places in life. I to struggle with a chronic illness and know how that feels also. Keep up your excellent writing.

11:48 AM  
Blogger b/sistersshoes said...

Bek~ your comment section won't let me post...this has not been my day!

I've missed you girl and I'm glad your home safe! And back in the arms of your sweet girl :)

xxx d

2:22 PM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

i've recently realized i've been holding some resentments that i thought i'd dealt with until they cropped up again. i'm writing each resentment a letter. once i'm finished i'll do something symbolic with the letters. i don't know what yet. sometimes ritual is helpful in moving forward and i'm going to try that route for myself.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Susannah said...

Bless you, D - you are like a little angel (with a beautiful face) who watches over us.. over me. thank you sweetie. these are very wise words i will muse on today... love you x

11:40 PM  
Blogger bb said...

Yes, we must live our lives without resentment or contempt.
(is is shallow to say because, if nothing else, they give us wrinkles? ;-))
love to compassionate you - you are a wise and beautiful woman

x x x

12:44 AM  

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