Time in a Bottle

Where does your mind go while you are in the shower? I realize that this is a loaded question and I'm not looking for any off color remarks, but I remember when shower times were like vacations for my brain. As a child, I took a shower with the radio blasting out AM top ten hits, belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs. The shampoo bottle was my microphone and I danced over the drain thinking that I sounded pretty damn good. As a young mother, shower time was an escape from hectic schedules, endless questions from my children and grading homework. I remember the hot water pounding my skin like a relaxing massage and the drain became the portal where all of my heavy cares melted away. But now, the shower is my nemesis and the drain predicts my future like a fortune teller. Lupus causes random hair loss. Not in everyone, but for me, it is never a good sign. My hands pull away multiple clumps of hair and I have to repeatedly kick away the collections that end up clogging the drain. That means that my body is fighting itself again......and loosing the battle. It means that a flare is coming and I am helpless against it's arrival. So now, shower time is a place I fear and I spend those solitary minutes evaluating the condition of my health rather than singing or relaxing. Did you see the beautiful glass bottle in my picture? Well, it's filled with all the hair that fell out this morning. I wanted to show you the covered drain, but I couldn't bare to take the picture. So now, it's just a matter of time for the hair to leave and the pain to come.

I took this picture right after my shower. I refuse to let this disease steal my joy for life!