Monday, July 17, 2006

Patrisha with a "sh"

I spent my weekend with my adopted grand daughter named Patrisha. Her father was a student of mine when he was in 6th grade. We have kept in touch ever since and 10 years ago he introduced me to his bride and this little munchkin :) I have been Grandma Art ever since and she spends weekends with us every couple of months. You can only guess why she nicknamed me Grandma Art. This weekend we painted, made bracelets, jewelry boxes and refrigerator magnets and composed a homemade book. We watched a "HUGE" movie through a projector and white sheet that covered the wall, while we ate popcorn. Her eyes were as big as the material screen and she smiled the entire time.

I love being a Grandma and it will be awhile before my newly adult children are ready to be parents. So, here is where I want to express my heart. ~ Most of you know that Boho is my lil sister and that I am 10 years her senior. We are very close, bonded together with good times, tragic moments, life's growing pains and oodles of love, my cup runneth over with boho's warm fuzzies. Now I'm going to get serious, putting aside all the deep history we have shared together and reaching into the inner most tender places of my heart.......... I am (crying) inside and out, even as I write this, the subject matter is tender. I have mourned every month that she has not conceived her babe. I keep this from her, for the obvious reasons and I become her piller as she pours out her wounded heart and disappointment. As we talk on the phone, my face gets drenched with tears and I take silent deep breaths to steady my voice. I have never known two people who deserve to be parents more than Den & Carsten. The love they share is magical and rare and they both want to pour this out on some very blessed little one. I am longing to drain my own love into this little life as well. I want to share yet another incredible, life changing experience with my baby sister again......I guess what I'm trying to say is.......I desparately want to be Auntie Art.


Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

Patrisha is sooooo Sweet and I wish I was there eating popcorn with you and making a book!!! Wowieeeeeeee!!! What FUN! I am sooooo sorry for you dear D! I can't imagine hearing such sadness over and over again, it is a hard trial you are going thru and of course sweet Boho girly is living it too! I've been thru sadness with my daughter and it is very emotional and draining, it is very depressing dark place to be... I will be praying for you to keep being strong for Denise and I will be praying for Carsten and Denise and to keep the faith(like her last post was about faith), hoping and praying soon we all will have JOYOUS Baby news! and you will be Auntie Art! Won't that be a glorious day and that baby will be getting presents and love from all over the world! Until that day we must all pray and help and support Boho girly and YOU too! Sometimes we forget about the ones we are close to and how they are in pain if we are in pain! xooxoxoxo ps. if you need anything just let me know sweet Darlene! I will be praying!!!

12:50 PM  
Blogger Susannah said...

what a tender soul you are, D - sister, mother, auntie all wrapped up in a beautiful package. i can just imagine the pain you feel for Deni - watching those we love go through such painful times is excruciating isn't it. i know, and you know, and actually i think the whole blog world knows how much you two love each other - it truly is a beautiful thing, and i feel honoured to know you both. kisses and hugs to you x

1:27 PM  
Blogger *aimee* said...

I stumbled upon your blog (and Boho’s blog) some time ago and have been silently stalking you both. :) The bond you share with her is incredible and very inspiring. I have an older sister who I am very close to and I know she would do the same things for me. Thank you for sharing and know that there are so many people (even strangers) who are pulling for you guys.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Bek said...

Your little "grand-daughter" is so gorgeous.... and oh what fun it sounds like you had !! I only wish Mikaela and I could have popped over for a couple of hours too.

This is such a lovely post... and I almost had a teary.
But for some reason ~ I have a very optimistic feeling about the situation with Deni and Carsten.
Elated even.... bright and cheery about the prospects for them both.
I havent always had this feeling.
It is new.
As I hope is the life being created... the life of their babe.

It is so hard to watch those you love with all your heart experience deep pain.
Really hard.
And I honour you for being there for your sister... in everyway.
I know you make her journey that much easier.
Your understanding and tender heart are a blessing... not just to Deni, but to all who know you.

And I SO want you to be an Auntie too.
Soon... you WILL be.

4:04 PM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Your adopted Grandbaby is gorgeous! What a lucky girl to have such a fun Grandma.

When you started talking about Denise I had to turn away from the screen for a moment to let the tears fall...hearing your feelings your perspective...

This tender loving support is so beautiful and made me feel safe to cry for her, and to feel the pain for a moment from a different perspective...

Hope this makes sense....

Loving you (Auntie Art)

4:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a wonderful relationship you share with both are so lucky to have one another! it is telling of the sweet and special soul you are...being such an amazing mentor, and such a supportive sister. you will be auntie art, someday...some way. souls who are ment to be together find their way into each other's lives, just like you and your honorary granddaughter. keep following the light of are in my heart and thoughts, darlene.

6:52 PM  
Anonymous tony said...

Hi, been reading your blog,and found it to be really interesting,Wish you well.

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

Looks like you two had a great weekend! It is so wonderful to see the close relationship you share with your lil' sis. Out here in bloggy world we should all say our prayers for Denise and her hubby to have a lil' boho baby! I just envision her having posts up with little boho baby pics someday soon.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Sarah e.Smith said...

It sounds like your and Patrisha have a great time together.

I too hope for you and Boho that you can take on the roles of Auntie and Momma Art :)

I send you both bright blessings from my little corner of the world :)


10:06 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

i love you.

please know that your strength filters into my heart and gives me, thank you for being strong for me. i don't say i need many things to anyone but i can honestly say i need your strength.

tears are flowing. the grateful kind. the kind where i am feeling so deeply loved and honored.

thank you...

lil sis boho

6:05 PM  

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